


a pack of misfits

by Wanweird



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Alternate Universe - School, Anal Sex, Angst and Feels, Blood Kink, Bonding, Childhood Friends, Consensual Underage Sex, Dirty Talk, Dominant Omega, Dry Humping, Endgame Niall Horan/Harry Styles, Feral Behavior, Fighting Kink, Fights, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Growing Up, Growing Up Together, Jealousy, Kissing, Knotting, Light Dom/sub, Love Bites, M/M, Making Out, Mating Bond, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Niall and Zayn are 17, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, OT5, OT5 Friendship, Overstimulation, Pack Bonding, Pack Cuddles, Pack Dynamics, Pack Feels, Panic Attacks, Pining, Polyamory, Possessive Behavior, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Praise Kink, Reunions, Rough Kissing, Rough Sex, Scenting, Scents & Smells, Sexism, Sexist Language, Submissive Alpha, Titanic is a great movie okay, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Underage Drinking, bad relationships, never fear, pack date, the other boys are 18, there's some bruises and cuts from fights but not very graphic I think
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-18
Updated: 2017-05-25
Packaged: 2018-10-20 16:06:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 8
Words: 76,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10666128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wanweird/pseuds/Wanweird
Summary: Niall is five when they are all placed in the same playgroup. That's how he meets Louis, Zayn, Liam and Harry. They are the problem pups that need to be kept away from the others and are handled by two adults at the same time. A traumatic incident binds them together as a pack and they know it's a bond that lasts forever. But when Niall is ten years old he has to move back to Ireland and doesn't see his mates for another seven years. He meets them again eventually but a lot can happen in seven years...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Helloooo~  
> This actually was supposed to be a prologue about their childhood but then it became 9000 words long and I'm????? I guess it's chapter 1 then??? I hope you'll enjoy it!

Niall is five when they are all placed in the same playgroup. That's how he meets Louis, Zayn, Liam and Harry. They are the problem pups that need to be kept away from the others and are handled by two adults at the same time. It feels weird in the beginning and they're all a little wary of each other, no trust whatsoever. But Niall learns pretty soon _why_ the others have ended up with him. 

Louis is incredibly loud, always talking and yelling and they say he has stolen things from the other kids. Niall overhears one of the adults calling him a "bully" but really, Niall doesn't get it. To him they're just harmless pranks and he thinks Louis is actually pretty funny. If the others can't see that it's their problem!

Zayn on the other hand doesn't talk at all. He's always sitting alone in a corner, drawing pictures or staring out of the window. That doesn't sound exactly like a problem but whenever some of the other kids try to talk to him or come too close, Zayn _bites_. And it's not just some harmless nip, one of the older children had to be sent to the hospital for stitches. Niall remembers it quite well because he had seen Zayn sitting there licking the blood from his lips before he was sent home with his parents.

Liam is actually really nice and well-mannered but he has some serious anger issues. Sometimes he just snaps and beats one of the other kids up and he doesn't know how to stop. So Niall tries to stay away from him. 

At first Niall doesn't understand why Harry is here but then an adult calls him out on whatever he's just said and tells him not to lie. Apparently he knows exactly what to say and what to do to get what he wants and it has caused some serious issues among the other children. 

Harry, Liam and Louis are six years old while Zayn and Niall are still five. So that's how they end up at the same table during lunch. It's a little awkward because they all know they're here for a reason, they've all been called _troublemaker_ at one point or another. But Zayn doesn't look at them once, he just stares down at his food while Louis watches him with a frown, clearly bored by all of this. Liam simply doesn't want to be here but he doesn't look like he wants to hit someone. Yet. And Harry? He's watching Niall while he's munching on his banana with an open mouth. It's disgusting and Niall doesn't want him to be here.

"Close your mouth," he says and puts his sandwich down.

"Why?" Harry asks with a full mouth, not bothered by anything Niall says.

"Because I say so. It's yucky."

"I don't care."

"It's disgusting."

"I don't care what you think."

It sets Niall off. Harry eyes him with a blank expression and Niall feels extremely patronized. He hates it because all the other pups are doing it too, just because he's so small and thin. They don't take him seriously, they just laugh at him, ignore him or tease him. Every day, all day and apparently Harry won't be any different. So Niall reaches over and grabs Harry's lunchbox with both hands, smashing it on the floor and sending all the food flying across the room. Harry has only time to drop his banana in shock before Niall wrestles him from his seat to punch him with his little fists.

Well, and that is the reason why Niall is here. He gets aggressive and destroys things. Preferably whatever the other children crafted during their art lessons after mocking Niall's work. That's why he's rolling over the floor now with a very lively Harry who isn't like the other children and lets himself get punched, no, he's very good at that too. But Niall gets to pull his stupid brown curls and it makes the other boy scream. In return Harry has pretty long fingernails.

After another moment of aimless blows the teachers rush over to pull them apart, and by the time they do, Harry has a nasty bite mark on his neck and there's a long scratch on Niall's face.

"Enough," the Beta who looks after them says. Her name is Ms. D, Niall thinks. Something with D, he can't remember. "Who started this?"

"It was him!" Harry says and points at Niall. He's all red in the face and panting and Niall reckons he looks just the same.

"Are you sure, Harry? Wouldn't be the first time you provoked something like this."

"I didn't _do_ anything, I was just eating!"

But she doesn't believe Harry because he's a liar, he's always lying, so why should he tell the truth now? And she pats Niall's head like he's been the victim in all of this and that isn't the first time either. He gets away with many things, not everything but he's probably the only one they all feel sorry for. He's just a little pup who doesn't know how to deal with his bullies and before he was placed here he's never been punished for anything he's done. 

And that just makes everything worse. 

Because Niall doesn't _want_ to be the victim. He doesn't want to be treated like he isn't capable of doing anything, like he's the weakest of the litter. His parents do it and everyone else too. He gets away with it and it doesn't even cross their minds that Niall might not want that.

"It was me!" Niall yells when Ms. D takes Harry's wrist to drag him away because Harry is crying now, trying to tear his arm away, whimpering that he didn't do anything. "It was me!" Niall repeats and rushes over to pull Harry's hand out of her grasp. "You have to punish me, not him!" and when she's not letting go of him Niall does the only logical thing he can think of: He bites her.

Ms. D shouts and jerks her hand away immediately, scowling at Niall like she's more than disappointed in him. Good. She should be. She takes him by the neck then, instincts making him raise his shoulders as he follows her without question, only shooting a small glance over his shoulder where Harry stares at him with wide eyes, wiping away the snot from his nose with his sleeve. _What a disgusting boy_ , Niall thinks and then moves along.

It obviously doesn't have any lasting consequences, it's always the same. They call his mother and when she picks him up they inform her about what happened. She always promises to talk to him at home but that never happens. She just pats his head and tells him that she knows he's a good boy and that it must be hard for him to fight for himself with so many big pups around him. Niall hates her a little for that but he's still so young and doesn't know what to do about it.

It continues like that for weeks and the teachers have a very close eye on them whenever they participate in group activities. They still share the same table when they draw pictures or eat together and this time Niall simply avoids looking at Harry. But he still feels the boy's eyes on him. The only other time they all clash a little is when Louis loudly talks about his weekend at the zoo and Liam tells him to shut up. Harry chats about his own weekend then and it sounds so weirdly constructed that Louis tries to call him out on his lie, which in turn makes Zayn squirm on his little chair because he likes it to be quiet and somehow that riles Liam up even more and he drains his cup of tea over Louis' head.

The mean thing is that the teachers have decided to punish all of them now if one misbehaves, so for the rest of the day they're banned to the book corner to spend some time on their own without the other children. Niall isn't really bothered since he hasn't been friends with any of them in the first place. It's fine, _he_ is fine. Until he isn't.

The day everything escalates is both the worst and the best day of Niall's life. He's just minding his own business when a group of older pups lock him up in the garden's shack. It's dark and he can't see a thing, it's even harder to breathe with the stirred up dust from when they have pushed him inside. He feels his throat close up with panic, his heart starts to pound as the walls slowly start to close in on him. He is crying, loud and ugly, his whole body shaking with sobs. First he just bangs his fists against the door but then he starts to use his head as well, whimpering and screaming because he doesn't know what to do, doesn't know what will happen, he is just a child and as a child everything feels like it's going to be forever.

By the time someone rips the door open Niall's forehead is bleeding, his face is a little swollen and there are splinters in his hands. But it's not a teacher who stands in front of him, it's _Harry_ , with wide green eyes and a quivering lip and Niall doesn't have any other choice but to fall into his arms. He doesn't stop crying and Harry doesn't push him away, instead he holds him and rubs over his back. Everything is blurry from the tears but when he looks over Harry's shoulder he sees Liam punching and kicking one of the kids who has locked Niall up while Zayn has his teeth buried in another one's arm. And then Louis comes dashing around the corner with two teachers behind him and he points at Niall, talking rapidly and loudly but Niall still doesn't hear it, he doesn't hear anything to be honest, the blood is rushing in his ears. 

The rest passes in a blur. He remembers being lifted out of Harry's arms and he knows he kept crying for hours even though the teachers tried to soothe him and helped him clean his wounds. In the end his mother picks him up, more concerned than ever and he isn't allowed to go back until he feels better. But even after three days at home in bed he doesn't really feel better. He is fine, physically, but the memory of being alone in a dark shack still haunts him. And it makes him even more angry with the other children. He wants to hurt them like they've hurt him.

But when he returns to nursery on friday he doesn't have time to look for them.

"Niall!" Harry beams at him from their table and the others look up as well when they hear him yelling.

Niall moves carefully and a little awkwardly, unsure how to approach them after what happened that day. He doesn't know why they have been there but he is grateful, especially to Harry since he is the one who helped him get out of the shack. The others watch him with attentive eyes as he sits down, even Zayn, and Louis is quiet for once.

"Are you alright?" Liam asks him. "Your face still looks bad."

"I'm fine," Niall lies. And Harry – the master of all lies – knows that he's lying. But he doesn't call Niall out on it, he just frowns. "Thank you for helping me."

Louis beams at him. "You're welcome!"

"I'm glad you're okay," Zayn murmurs.

They all turn their heads to gape at Zayn. It's the first time they've heard him speak, he doesn't even talk to the teachers and Niall is a bit in awe of that. Zayn flushes when all eyes are on him suddenly and he quickly ducks his head. 

"You can talk!" Louis, always too loud. "I like your voice."

Zayn lifts his eyes with a shy smile and when he notices that all of them are smiling back at him his shoulders sink into a more comfortable position.

"Thank you," he adds a little louder.

And honestly, from that day on the five of them become inseparable. Niall isn't sure how it actually happened, if it was the shack incident or something else but he is happy nonetheless. They get along pretty well, even though they're all a little weird sometimes, and Liam has to remind Louis to be quiet while Louis manages to coax Zayn out of his shell like they've been friends forever. And whenever Niall gets frustrated and wants to destroy more stuff, Zayn just loops his arms around him and asks him to draw with him. It helps and the teachers complain less about them, even Harry. He still lies sometimes but Niall always encourages him to tell the truth because that's the only way they can stay friends. Apparently that is very important to Harry. To all of them, especially Liam. 

Because Liam doesn't just snap randomly, Niall realises. He is just super protective of others, even those he isn't friends with. When he sees someone being treated unfairly he can't just sit back. That's why he looks after Zayn so much. Zayn, who doesn't refuse speak because he isn't capable of it, he just doesn't want to. He doesn't trust other people, but he trusts _them_ now. Louis is quite similar to that, always talking, talking, talking because when he talks then no one can talk bad about _him_. Niall doesn't know why Harry is lying though, he is a bit of a puzzle that Niall doesn't feel old enough to solve yet. 

So Niall just tries to enjoy the time with them while the bruises and the scars on his face start to fade, except for the one on his temple that had to be stitched at the hospital. And after lunch they all huddle together in the book corner and sleep. It's usually all of them cuddling up to Liam because he's the tallest and Louis likes to push his face under his arm while Zayn prefers to sprawl out along their legs. Niall remembers falling asleep with his Head on Liam's shoulder but somehow he always wakes up with Harry in his arms, nose buried in soft brown curls and the boy's fingers clawing into the fabric on his back. He doesn't mind, it's very nice, so after a few days he just lies down with his back pressed against Liam's side, stretching out his arm for Harry to join him. Harry smiles like the sun and crawls over, pushing his face into Niall's neck.

"Look at the pups," he hears Ms. D say to another teacher. He doesn't even bother to blink his eyes open, instead he tightens his grip around Harry who lets out a soft sigh. "They get along quite well now. We had no problem with them since that day with the shack."

"How long do you think it'll last?" Another teacher asks with concern.

Nialli is already falling asleep and doesn't hear the answer but if _he_ had to answer it, he'd say _forever_.

*

Zayn and Niall stay behind when the others move on to elementary school but they still spend time together afterwards since they're all living in the same neighbourhood. And when Zayn and Niall are finally old enough to go to school they spend their breaks together as well. It's a little strange at first because everything is new but Niall manages to settle in with his class because Zayn is right beside him. Zayn stops talking again for a while and gets in trouble with the teachers for it but it gets better. They all get better in a way. Or they just get older.

When Niall is eight years old they learn about the Alpha, Beta and Omega society for the first time. The teacher hands them a slim book that explains everything they need to know and then spends one whole week educating them on the social dynamics that come along with it. He barely touches the subject of physical changes and when one of the other students asks why they don't get more information on that the teacher just tells them that they'll learn about it in secondary school. But the topic doesn't quite leave them alone and when the boys have their monthly sleepover at Liam's place Niall can't let go of the topic. He doesn't know much about it but there's one thing Niall is sure of: He doesn't want to become an Omega.

"What, why?" Zayn asks him while he and Louis play some racing game on Liam's PlayStation.

Niall shrugs from where he's lying on his stomach on Liam's bed, arms folded under his chin. "People don't treat them that well, do they? It's like they're all fragile and weak and can't make it on their own."

"My Mum's an Omega," Louis says with a frown. "But I don't think she's weak."

"That could mean that you'll present as an Omega, too," Harry pipes up. He's sitting on the windowstill with a comic in his lap but he isn't really reading it.

"Maybe." Louis shrugs and keeps smashing the buttons, groaning in frustration when Zayn wins the round. "Or I could become an Alpha!"

Harry snorts. "There's no way you'll become an Alpha."

Louis scowls and pauses the game, much to Zayn's dismay. "Wanna try me, Styles?"

Niall giggles into his arm because challenging Harry to a wrestle is a bad idea. He is nine years old now and has outgrown even Liam. He can be scary to others but Niall isn't scared because Harry still cuddles into his chest when they sleep together.

"Don't wanna hurt you, Louis," Harry says with a grin and then swings his long legs back inside. He drops the comic before he flings himself onto the bed next to Niall, almost on top of him.

"Hazza," Niall growls and shoves him away but Harry is very demanding when it comes to affection.

"Nialler," Harry whines in return and bumps his head against Niall's shoulder until he turns over with a sigh and let's Harry nestle his head on his chest. "Better."

Niall just hums and lets his fingers rake through Harry's curls that have gotten even longer now, prompting his classmates to call him "Omega" or "Girl" but he doesn't seem to be bothered by it. Niall is glad because he likes Harry's hair a lot and he likes touching it. Plus, he smells great. All their senses have improved over the years and now Niall can recognise the different nuances and shades. Harry smells of freshly mown grass and a warm bonfire. The other's scents are a little fainter, not as strong and less intense. Louis is all freshly printed paper and flowers while Zayn is honey and apples. Liam is the smell of dust after rain and when Niall noses along his scent glands there's a hint of salt, like seawater. But it's nothing compared to Harry's smell that lulls him to sleep every time they nap together.

"You won't be an Omega, you know?" Harry drags him out of his thoughts.

"Hm? What makes you so sure?"

"Because we're all going to be Alphas and rock the world."

Niall starts to giggle and tugs at Harry's hair. "We can't do that as Betas?"

Harry pouts. "I guess. But I want all of us to be the same."

"We can all become Betas," Niall reminds him.

"Okay," Harry says with a defeated sigh before he pulls away and falls back on the duvet dramatically. "Betas it is."

"What's that about Betas?" Liam says when he enters his room with lots of fizzy drinks in his arms.

"Woah, did your Mum allow that?" Louis asks him with an open mouth. The sugar makes them all really active and even less bearable for others. 

Liam just grins at them. "Mum isn't home but Dad is."

"Wicked!" Harry beams and quickly gets up to help Liam set everything down on his desk.

"Can I have some now?" Zayn stretches his neck to look at them. 

"Hah! You snooze you loose," Louis says with a grin and then throws the controller into the air.

"No fair!" Zayn pouts. "I was distracted!"

Niall watches them all together with a grin. He can't wait for the pillow fight that he knows will happen later.

*

Niall loves his friends because they're all so different. It's perfect when they're all together but spending time with each of them is just as amazing. 

Sometimes he spends his afternoons with Louis because there's a park near his house with lots of trees. They climb them all day and pretend to be adventures who have to find a secret treasure. It's just a lot of fun because Louis is so great and so creative and he comes up with so many stories and ideas. Niall is always sad when it's over and they have to go home.

"Next time we discover an ancient ruin! And then we find out that some monsters are still living there," Louis says when they climb back down.

"So cool!" Niall grins at him. "Maybe we should ask the others to come with us next time, they could be the monsters."

Louis rolls his eyes. "Yeah but you know how they are. Zayn will just stand around and do nothing, Liam will complain when something isn't logical and Harry will just fall out of his role and mess it all up."

Niall has to laugh because it's true! They tried it one time and Zayn was just hiding behind some bushes while Liam and Louis were arguing about the plot and Niall was too distracted by Harry trying to tickle him. 

"Okay, just you and me then," Niall says and slings one arm around Louis' neck, both sweaty from climbing about in the trees.

Louis smiles at him. "Good!"

Niall also really likes to hang out with Liam. Louis calls him boring all the time but he really isn't. He just isn't as full of beans as the rest of them which is quite good because he hauls them back when they go too far. But he can still be fun and both him and Liam like to watch documentaries about animals or science stuff they don't actually understand. Sometimes they just mute the TV then and make something up to explain what they see, which results in the most ridiculous stories that have Niall laughing hard on the floor until his tummy hurts. 

"Stop!" Niall pants against the carpet, shaken by giggles. Liam is still curled up on the sofa, covering his mouth with both hands to suppress his own laugh. "If you laugh again I have to laugh, too!"

"S-sorry," Liam croaks and then falls into another laughing fit.

It goes on like that until they're both crying and Liam's mum has to separate them until they calm down. But now every time their eyes meet randomly from across the room they both have to grin like idiots. Liam never fails to make Niall happy and he knows how to comfort someone. He's like a big brother to Niall even though he already has one. But Greg is five years older than him and not interested in a baby brother anymore. He is a Beta and likes to stay with his Beta friends instead. Niall doesn't really care since he has four other brothers now.

A brother like Zayn who Niall spends most of his time with since they're sharing all their classes together. He is still shy and sometimes Niall has to hold his hand under the table when the teacher calls on him but he doesn't stop talking altogether anymore. Plus, Zayn and him are having guitar lessons together. He had started first and then a few weeks later Zayn had asked if he could join, all quietly, making sure to catch Niall alone.

"Of course!" Niall had said and was really happy about it because it's more fun to learn together.

He is a little better at it than Zayn but he says he doesn't mind as long as he gets to spend time with Niall. They also play a few songs together outside of their lessons, the first one being 'Wonderwall' since it's one of the easiest to learn. They play and sing and they really aren't bad at that.

"We should join a band or something," Zayn says while plucking lazily on his guitar. Both guitars are still a little big on them but they try their best.

"Or maybe form one? We could make the others join us. They have great voices."

Zayn suddenly beams at him. "Yes! You can all sing and I play the guitar with you."

Niall frowns. "You have a great voice too, Zayn."

He recoils a little, pressing his cheek against the guitar on his lap to hide his face. "Nah... it's okay."

"Hey," Niall leaves his own guitar by the chair to move over and hug Zayn sideways. "I love hearing you talk and I love hearing you sing. You could rock the whole word with that voice."

Zayn starts to giggle in his arms and when he looks up Niall feels like he believes him. And that's all that matters in the end.

Spending time with Harry is a little different because usually they don't do anything at all. They don't play, they don't watch movies that often and they don't go outside to do anything else. They usually just cuddle up on Harry's or Niall's bed and _talk_. They talk about everything that is on their minds, even the ridiculous things, like Harry telling him a new knock-knock joke. They also touch, but just the usual stuff like ruffling their hair, sniffing along each other's necks or holding hands. It feels natural to run his fingers over Harry's that are so much longer than Niall's. It makes him pout. If he wants to become an Alpha like everyone else he'll have to step up his game.

But Harry doesn't seem to mind, none of them do, so he tries not to think about it. Especially since Harry always tells him that he likes Niall's height and even his crooked teeth. Niall usually tries to cover his mouth with one hand when he laughs and makes sure to curl his lips over his teeth when he speaks. Harry scolds him for it when he catches him doing it, says that his teeth are perfect. Like he does now.

"Don't be silly, Hazza," Niall murmurs but he still smiles. "Yours are perfect, all straight and white."

The other boy rolls his eyes. "Yes, and so boring."

"Oi." Niall quickly sits up to jostle Harry onto his back and push down his shoulders. "You're not boring. And everyone at school loves you!"

Harry blinks up at him with parted lips, like he's confused. Niall wonders why, they all like to tussle sometimes. But this time Harry doesn't fight back, not even a little. Instead he's stretching his neck until he can reach Niall's chin with the tip of his tongue. It makes him gasp and pull back and the next thing he knows is that Harry is holding his face between both hands, licking his _teeth_. 

It sets something free in Niall, makes his heart hammer in his chest, makes him feel giddy and happy, like he's home. Harry is home. He always feels like this when he's with either of the boys but right now it's much more intense and unfolds his heart until it's vibrating through his whole body. It's distracting but nice and they don't even notice when Harry's mum walks in on them. She is upset.

He doesn't know why or what exactly is happening but half an hour later his mum is there to pick him up and she's very angry with him after talking to Anne. Harry doesn't understand it either, he's just pouting and telling her that he can't help it, that Niall is "pack" and "home", that they're _all_ pack. Niall doesn't know what that word means but he nods anyway because it feels right. Apparently that was the wrong thing to say though because Harry's mum goes full Alpha on him.

"Where did you hear that word, Harry?" She looks down at him with her hands on her hips and her son becomes just a little bit smaller. " _Where_ , Harry?"

Harry just shrugs and toes at the carpet. "I don't know."

"Harry, you're telling me right now where you heard that word."

"I... at school, maybe. I don't know."

"I don't want you to use it anymore, Harry."

That's when Niall's mother grabs him by the neck and makes him leave without letting him say goodbye. He is still confused. What did he do? He can't imagine that what Harry said is actually bad so he when they stop at a red light on the way back he carefully asks her about what it means.

"Niall," she sighs. "We really shouldn't talk about this."

"But why?" He looks at her with puppy eyes. "He wasn't wrong, Mum. Harry and Liam and Zayn and Louis, they all smell like home. More like our home."

He sees his mother's grip tighten around the steering wheel. "Only one person can smell like home, Niall, and that will be your mate in the future. Pack dynamics with more than one person aren't common anymore."

"What do you mean, only one person?"

But she doesn't tell him, she just shakes her head and Niall is too scared to ask again. A few days later she takes him to the doctor though and Niall is surprised to find Harry and his mother already there. They tell them to wait outside while they talk to the doctor but Niall knows that Harry knows that he knows that this isn't what's going to happen. As soon as the door is closed they both hurry over to press their ears to the narrow gap between the door and its frame. It's faint but Niall still can hear little chunks of it.

"So they are very close and your son was licking the boy's teeth?"

"Yes, he told me it was the first time it happened with Niall but apparently he has made his friend Liam do it to him first."

Niall blinks and looks up at Harry who is pressing his ear against the door with a frown but he doesn't look back.

"Interesting," says the doctor and there's a brief pause. Niall can hear typing. "And Niall hasn't shown any behaviour like that?"

"No," says Niall's mum. "He is close with his friends but never like that."

"Harry has been very overexcited lately. A little territorial with his bedroom and protective over his sister, even though she's older than him."

"Could all be signs that he'll become an Alpha. However, licking someone's teeth was a sign of submission back in the days. It's a very feral behaviour but it doesn't indicate any sexual desire." There is more typing.

"He said his friends were his pack," Anne says nervously. "He told me he heard someone mention the word at school but I don't know whether he's lying to me or not."

"It's very uncommon," the doctor explains, "to get involved in pack dynamics but it does happen and it's not forbidden."

"He is nine years old! He shouldn't be thinking about something like that!"

"Perhaps your son is a little precocious but I wouldn't worry too much about it. Just make sure he understands that his friends aren't as far ahead as he is and that he shouldn't pressure them into it."

"And what about my son?" 

Niall tenses.

"Looks like this affects all of them. It can't just be felt by one."

"Should we keep them apart?"

Neither Harry nor Niall can hold back the whines that escape their throats when they hear that. They quickly move away from the door and Harry grabs Niall's hand to pull him back to the chairs where they were supposed to wait. It only takes thirty seconds before the door opens again and their mothers emerge with deep frowns on their faces, like they know that the boys have been eavesdropping.

"Come on, pup," Anne says and Harry tentatively slips from his chair, taking a sad look back at Niall. Niall feels like crying.

In the end they don't try to separate them but they tell them to spend more time with other friends as well. Niall's quietly mumbled "I don't have any other friends," gets lost in his mother's rant. Apparently all of their parents have talked and agreed that it's for the best. 

But they really should know their sons better. They haven't been called troublemakers for no reason and it's not like they changed or anything, no, they just became better at not getting caught. So they would tell their parents that their school day was a little longer than usual and then spend it together in the park or they would climb out of their windows to meet each other around the street corner. 

They _do_ get caught in the end but instead of forcing them further apart they just give up. It can't be helped and it can't be stopped.

They are a pack.

*

Niall is nine years old and he still has panic attacks. Ever since the incident in the shack when he was five years old he avoids small rooms. He doesn't go into any closets, he takes the stairs instead of the elevator and there's no way you can get him into an actual shack. His parents have sent him to a child therapist years ago but it hasn't really gotten better. At least it's easy to avoid small rooms, so he rarely gets panic attacks anymore and if he does he manages to get over it quite fast.

But then it happens in a crowd. He doesn't even realise it at first, he and Zayn were just leaving the classroom when there's suddenly a bunch of other kids groaning and yelling because someone's blocking the door. It's alright, but then someone behind Niall pushes him forward and he can feel the whole crowd move and being squashed together until it's hard to breathe. 

Zayn's fingers slip from his and he doesn't know anyone around him so he might as well be surrounded by darkness. It's the fear of the unknown, a place he can't get out of, and he's pressed further into someone's back that smells just wrong. They aren't pack and he's all _alone_.

So he screams. He's five years old again and it's worse than the panic he feels when he's in a closet because right now he's actually scared that he might die. Maybe they'll suffocate him or stomp him to death, maybe he'll just explode into a thousand pieces and become the dust in the shack that takes someone's breath away.

He keeps screaming, covering his ears with both hands until the crowd dissolves and he can sink onto his knees where he bangs his head against the floor, begging it to open and let him out of this place, out of his skin. Niall faintly hears Zayn's voice and feels hands on his hair that try to prevent him from hurting himself. Zayn still smells like home, more honey than apples now but it's not quite enough and Niall starts to cry like he hasn't cried in years, unable to stop the wailing that rips from his throat. There are more voices and he knows there are kids calling him a freak but they don't know anything, they don't know what's happening to him.

Then suddenly Zayn is gone and someone else _forces_ him to stop by pulling him into a warm hug. An earthy smell fills his nose and even though he's still crying and whimpering he takes a deep breath, lets the smell ground him enough to realise that it's Harry and that he's rubbing a soothing hand over his head, trying to shush him with his voice. But it's not what calms Niall down in the end. It's the steady beat of Harry's heart that he tries to breathe to, tries to match his own heart with. Harry is hugging him tightly and it's completely black behind his eyelids since his face is smushed against Harry's chest. It should make it worse, should make him feel like he's back in confined space but that's not what's happening. Harry isn't like that, if anything he's the comforting heat of a fire and the cosy darkness from cuddling under a blanket. Niall could stay here forever.

He calms down eventually, except for a few little hiccups every now and then and when he opens his eyes Harry is looking at him with so much concern that he feels really bad for freaking out like that. He sees the same look on Louis' face and Liam's and Zayn's but Zayn's is also mingled with guilt. But it's not his fault that he wasn't able to help Niall, he was overwhelmed by it, too.

"Are you okay?" Harry whispers like he's scared.

Niall rubs a trembling hand over his eyes, nodding furiously even though it's not true. He's not okay and right now it feels like he never will be again. Then the teachers arrive and tell him to come back to the office so they can call his mother. His friends are not exactly happy about Niall being taken away. They wrap their little hands around Niall's arm and the teachers have a hard time getting them off of him. They scold them for their behaviour but Harry just makes a whining noise when Niall's wrist slips through his fingers.

They sit him down on one of the chairs by the office and all he can do is stare at the floor, unable to say anything about what had happened. But he's glad that he doesn't have to stay here, he's exhausted and not sure he can concentrate on his classes anymore.

"Nialler," a voice hisses from his left. When he blinks and looks up there is Liam sticking his head out from around the corner and waves him over. Niall instantly gets on his shaking legs, no matter how he feels. If his pack mate is calling he'll come.

"What is it?" Niall sniffles as he gets pulled in by Liam. Then he sees that they're _all_ here with their school bags, like they're ready to leave. "What are you doing?"

"We're skipping the rest of the day," Louis explains with a grin.

"What, why?" Niall doesn't understand.

"We'll take you to the bakery and buy you some cake or biscuits, whatever you want," Zayn adds quietly.

"I... but I don't want to get you in trouble."

Harry rolls his eyes. "We're always in trouble. Come on, Nialler."

Niall doesn't even have to think twice about it. He's grabbing his bag from the chair, making sure the secretary doesn't see him leaving and then he follows his friends down the hall (he even forgets about how his mum will feel when she arrives and finds him gone). They are running the whole way and he's trailing behind at first, not quite trusting his legs to carry him like before. But the longer he moves and the more fresh air he pumps into his lungs the better he feels and soon he's catching up with Zayn and Liam, watching Harry and Louis bump into each other every now and then with a giggle.

They reach the bakery in no time and they're all out of breath when they barge in, holding hands like a chain that starts with Harry and ends with Niall.

"What do you want, Niall?" Liam asks him all excited as he points at all the delicious treats. They have bread and buns but also cake and biscuits and pastries and Niall doesn't know how to decide. His stomach grumbles at the sight and he feels like he could eat _all of it_.

"Um..." He bites on his lips and reaches for his wallet. He doesn't have much of his pocket money left. "I don't know."

"Put that away, Niall," Liam tells him. " _We're_ buying."

"But—"

"I think we'll take five pieces of that cake," Louis declares and points a tasty looking chocolate cake. "And those marzipan biscuits."

"The pastries!" Harry adds. "Those too."

And then they're all babbling as the baker fills plate after plate with an irritated look. When his friends are satisfied with their choice they pull out their own wallets and empty them on the counter. It's nothing but small change and lots of pennies and Niall feels like crying again but this time it isn't the bad kind. They're arguing among each other and look for more loose money in their pockets but Niall is pretty sure that it won't be enough. There is no way they can buy all of this and Niall's face is flaring up when the baker squints at him for a moment. It softens again when he understands the situation and clears his throat. He starts to collect the big amount of pennies from the counter, not even bothering to count them.

"Looks like it's all fine, pups." He nods at them and Harry beams.

"Great! See? Told you we had enough."

They carry all of the food to one of the free tables inside the bakery, next to a couple of old ladies that are holding hands across the table while sipping their tea.

"You really shouldn't have," Niall says as he hops on one of the chairs. Harry gets onto the one on his right while Zayn slides into the seat on his left.

"But we really, really wanted to." Louis smiles at him.

The others just take one piece of cake and shove the rest in front of Niall who wants to cry even more now. There's no way he'll be able to eat all of that but he'll try because it looks delicious and he can still share with them, even though he's really bad at sharing his food. But after what they did for him, he'll make an extra effort. Besides, Harry _always_ tries to steal some of his food at some point.

For now he just listens to their chatter while he gnaws on one of the biscuits, letting the flavour explode on his tongue. It's so good! He tries the cake next and soon he joins in on their conversation, on the plans they're making for next year's summer break. It's the first time none of their families go on an actual vacation so they'll have the whole summer to themselves, just the five of them. Niall can't wait for it and he feels so much better already, smiling back at Zayn and kicking Louis under the table when he says something rude.

And then it happens, Harry's hand moves over to the last of Niall's pastries and he scowls at him, slapping his hand.

"You always do that!" Niall accuses him but tries not to sound too serious.

Harry pulls his hand back with a pout but soon it turns into a sheepish smile. "Please?"

With a roll of his eyes Niall shoves it over with the tips of his fingers and Liam snorts at the two of them. Harry doesn't react, he just nibbles at the pastry with a happy grin and smacks his lips because even though he's ten years old now he still eats like a baby sometimes.

"Close your mouth, Haz," Niall reminds him and Harry does as he says but keeps grinning like he's just doing it for Niall's sake.

He feels sick after a while because he ate too much and all the sugar makes him wiggle his feet under the table but he's happy, he's always happy when he is with his pack and doesn't even remember how horrible he felt two hours ago. It drained him to the bone but now he is bursting with energy again. All four of them walk him home afterwards and that's when he remembers that his parents must be worried sick over him. So he gets a little anxious when they're close to his house and then hides behind Liam when the front door opens and his mother rushes out.

Well, yes, she is angry. But only for a moment until she sees the bruise on Niall's forehead. After all she can't stay mad at him for long, it's always been like that. And then all of his friends start talking at the same time, explaining how they tried to comfort him and that they're sorry they didn't tell her before. 

"It's alright," She answers and strokes Niall's hair. "But you can go home now. I want Niall to lie down for a bit, he must be tired from all the stress."

They mutter their farewell to Niall and he waves his hand before he lets his mother push him inside. She actually insists on getting him to bed, even though the sun is still up. It's a good decision though because as soon as he's closing his eyes the high from spending time with his pack seems to fade and the exhaustion comes rushing back. He falls asleep only a moment later.

He wakes up again in the middle of the night when someone knocks at his door and at first he doesn't care but then he realises that it's not the door but the _window_ and he should probably find out who that is. When he turns around and drags himself out of the bed he can already spot Harry's face through the glass.

"How did he..." Then Niall rushes over and opens the window as fast as possible.

"Finally! I've been knocking for ages, Ni."

Harry actually climbed up the huge tree in front of his window and is currently balancing on a branch that is so narrow it makes Niall nervous. So he quickly pulls Harry in by his arms, making sure that he doesn't stumble and then he's finally inside, wearing nothing but his pyjama with a jacket over it. He's shivering.

"Oh my god, Haz, what were you thinking?"

But he just shrugs it off. "Can we go to bed? I'm freezing."

"Of course."

His bed is still warm and Harry climbs in with him after slipping out of his shoes and jacket. It's a little strange to be alone with Harry in the middle of the night but he quickly gets used to it when they lie down on the same pillow, facing each other.

"Why are you here?" Niall finally asks and folds his hands under his cheek.

Harry doesn't answer him for a long time, he just looks at the space between them and when he finally lifts his eyes he raises his hand at the same time, pushing his index finger against Niall's lips until they part. But all he wants to do is touch Niall's crooked teeth for a while and Niall wonders if Harry wants to lick them again. He hasn't tried it again ever since that day and it's not like Niall thinks about it much but he would let him. It is Harry after all.

"I was just worried and wanted to know if you're okay," he mutters and quickly drops his hand again.

"I'm okay. You helped a lot."

Harry nods. "Okay. I'll go back then."

"Really?"

"We have school tomorrow. I just wanted to check on you. But you're so strong, Ni... I'm so proud and glad that you're my friend." He swallows and then adds with a whisper, "my pack mate."

Niall smiles. They usually don't call it that, they're all thinking it but they're too scared for their parents to overhear them. Hearing Harry say it makes him feel ridiculously happy and he nudges Harry's nose with his own before he pulls back again and finds Harry smiling as well. "Me too."

"Good." Harry grins. "See you tomorrow."

He's gone as quickly as he came and tomorrow Niall will wonder whether he just dreamed it or not because that tree is really hard to climb, he has tried it himself before. But then again, Harry is taller than him and also a little stronger. 

However, all doubts are erased when Niall wakes up to a familiar grassy scent still clinging to his pillow.

*

Niall is ten when he has to move away. His father accepted a job offer back in Ireland that is well paid and they tell him that he'll be able to see his grandma again. Niall doesn't really care. He doesn't remember Ireland, he knows he was born there but they had moved to England pretty soon after that and _this_ is his home, because his pack is here. Greg is only complaining because he can't see his Beta girlfriend anymore but they don't leave him a choice so Niall doesn't even try to speak up himself. He knows it's already decided. But it all happens so quickly, in a matter of days and when he's standing in front of their crammed car he is bawling his eyes out. And he's not the only one. 

Liam, Zayn, Louis and Harry, they're all here with their parents who have been friends as well since their children are so close. The adults do nothing but shake hands while Niall is clinging to Liam and Louis at the same time, pushing his nose into their necks where the scent is the strongest, memorising it so he won't forget. Who knows when he'll ever see them again?

"T-take care of yourself," Louis sobs into his shoulder while Liam rubs his face into Niall's neck. "Call us every day, okay?"

"Okay," Niall whimpers and when they pull away there's Zayn next who looks even more broken than Niall feels and Zayn doesn't meet his eyes when he throws himself into his arms. He's crying and whimpering but he doesn't say a thing and he knows that Zayn can't speak sometimes, when there's too much stress or too many emotions bubbling up in his throat.

"Zee," Niall snivels, "we still p-play the guitar together, yes? Over the phone or the computer." Zayn nods against his hoodie which is already soaked with tears.

Niall will miss him, miss all of them in their own way but he tries to be strong now, he doesn't want to leave them with nothing but tears. He feels almost okay again when he takes a step back to smile at Zayn, but then he catches sight of Harry's devastated face and his puffy, wet cheeks. It hurts to see him like that and his own tears well up all over again when Harry crushes into his arms and almost knocks him over. His scent is overwhelming and Niall can sense the distress in it, how it changes from a meadow in spring to freshly dug up earth and burned paper. But it's still Harry and Niall noses at the soft spot right under his ear, mewling softly. Harry takes a deep breath.

"Knock knock," he whispers into Niall's ear.

"Who's there?" He whispers back and has to chuckle between his little sobs.

"Doughnut."

"Doughnut who?"

"Doughnut leave me," he begs.

"Hazza..." Niall curls both arms tightly around Harry's back. "We will... we will talk every day."

"'s not the same..."

He knows it's not the same because none of them ever just _talk_. He likes resting his head in Liam's lap while they chat, likes draping himself over Louis' back, holding hands with Zayn, curling around Harry. He will miss falling asleep with them on Fridays and he'll miss the apple pie Zayn's mum always makes for them. They are his home, his pack, he doesn't want to go.

"Come on, pup," Niall's father pipes up. "We need to leave."

"Let's go, Harry," Anne adds.

It's hard, very hard, but Niall slowly loosens his arms around Harry to pull back. Or he tries to, because suddenly there are teeth buried in his hood and Harry's hands hold on to him with a tight grip. Niall isn't irritated by it until Harry starts to _growl_. He's sucking in tiny breaths and every time he breathes out there's a snarl forming in his throat. His lips are curled back and his nose is all wrinkled, with eyes are so dark Niall can only gape at him, tears forgotten.

"Harry," his mother hisses but when she steps closer Harry's growls are only growing louder as he tears harder at the fabric of Niall's hoodie, like he's trying to take him somewhere safe.

"Haz?" Niall asks carefully but he isn't scared or anything, this is _Harry_. He'll always be safe with him.

" _Harry_ ," his mother repeats, but she's using her Alpha voice this time and it makes Niall hide his head between his shoulders while Harry snaps out of whatever state he is in right now. The hood slips from between his teeth immediately and he's dropping his arms along with it but he doesn't look very happy about it.

Niall is still wide-eyed and doesn't know what to think, doesn't know what he's doing. He's acting on instinct when he looks at a still panting Harry and leaps forward, grabbing him by the shoulders to lick over his lips and teeth like Harry did with him that day. It's what feels right in this moment. He can hear the other parents gasp loudly and Bobby Horan roars as he wrenches Niall away from Harry.

"Enough, we're leaving!"

Niall protests with a high-pitched whine.

"Maybe it's a good thing they can't spend so much time together anymore," he hears his mother say and Niall wants nothing more than to kick her for it. But he can't do that, she's his mum. So he gets dragged away by his hood and pushed into the car where his father puts his seatbelt on and tells him to stop crying. But he can't.

Harry is still outside with the other three boys wrapped around him, soothing him and each other. Niall won't have that anymore. He won't have _them_. He'll have to take care of himself from now on. 

When the car starts moving and Niall's pack slowly disappears from his line of vision his wailing gets worse again. Greg rolls his eyes at him, calling him a pathetic little pup. But Niall doesn't care, he keeps sobbing into his sleeve until he's too exhausted and falls asleep with his head against the window glass, hoping he'll wake up in London again, not somewhere in Ireland.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you sooooo much for the comments on the first chapter! I'm glad you're all interested :D I hope you'll like this one too.

It takes exactly one year and two months for Niall to lose contact to his pack. It's not on purpose. Life just keeps happening and Niall doesn't know how to stop it. The first month is hard, very hard. He spends the rest of his summer break in his bed, not really caring about his bigger room or the bigger house. He'd cram into a one-room apartment if it means he could've stayed in London, claustrophobia be damned.

He's talking to them every day for the first few weeks, though it shouldn't be called 'talking' because most of the time they're crying. Niall has been crying so much that his mother had to force gallons of water down his throat to make up for the loss. She knows he misses them and his parents try to comfort him, but it's not the same and there aren't enough phone calls to replace the closeness he misses. 

Sometimes the four boys meet at Liam's place and call him together and other times it's just one of them. He and Zayn play the guitar together over the webcam but it sounds weird and off when they're not in the same room, so they stop. Liam tries to tell him about a new documentary he's seen on TV about UFOs but then his mum calls him for dinner and he has to end the call. Niall listens to the sound of the disconnected line for almost ten minutes while he stares at his duvet and tries not to cry. 

Calling Louis is easy because Louis is the strongest and the bravest of them all. He's Niall's leader on their quests to hidden realms and saves him from three-headed monkeys that try to steal his magical sword. Louis is funny and honest, so if he says he misses you, then you just know that it's true. He is never sad when he calls Niall and tells him jokes and asks him about his day and Niall genuinely feels happy for a while, until he feels the urge to lean against his friend. Because Louis isn't here and when they hang up, Niall is as empty as he has been since the day he left.

Calling Harry always is the hardest, especially today because Niall _knows_ something is wrong.

"You're quiet, Haz..."

" _I don't feel good lately. Been to the doctor a few times._ "

" _What?_ Are you hurt?"

" _No, just... my chest hurts a lot. But Mum says it'll be better soon._ "

Niall wants to ask if it feels like the aching emptiness in his own heart, wants to ask if Harry misses him. Harry never says much when they're on the phone. 

"I'm sorry you're hurt," he says eventually.

" _It's fine_ ," Harry mumbles. " _Wanna go to sleep?_ "

Niall nods, even though Harry can't see it, but he probably hears Niall pulling up the covers and burying himself into his pillow with the phone close to his ear.

"Goodnight, Hazza."

" _Goodnight, Nialler._ "

Niall can't really sleep without his pack but he sleeps better with the sound of Harry's steady breath on other end of the line. His mother doesn't know about it in the beginning but when the first phone bill comes in at the end of the month she's throwing a right fit. After that they hang up before they go to sleep and it continues to hurt.

It all comes to nothing in the end. Niall finds new 'friends' at school, trying to fill the hole in his life and it's working in a way. At least he's distracted from everything else. Then there are calls he misses or he calls them but they're not there because they're in the park together. There is less talking in general and more awkward silences because there is nothing else to say, is there? And that one time Niall talked about his new friend Travis, Harry had freaked out and hung up on him. 

On top of that Niall is getting into moods again _and_ he's causing trouble at school. His mother constantly has to leave her workplace to pick him up and eventually she loses her job because of it. She blames his father and they're arguing about Niall. Niall, who feels incredibly guilty and wants nothing more than to call one of his mates but he _can't_. He doesn't have the courage. He is scared that they don't even want him anymore, that they moved on.

So in a matter of a year his parents get divorced and he has to move again. He goes with his mother who rents a small apartment and Greg stays with his dad. Niall still sees them regularly but it's tough. With his new address and his new phone number he feels even less like he wants to call his pack mates. Will they even wonder or try to contact him? It probably doesn't matter anymore. 

It hits Niall then, clear as the day, that all of it was pointless anyway. He'll be stuck here in Mullingar and never see them again. Trying to keep in touch will just draw out the pain.

Eventually he gets used to the stinging emptiness in his chest that becomes a constant in his life and he doesn't even try to fill it. No one can replace Louis' contagious smile or Liam's comforting hugs. No one can replace the joy of playing the guitar with Zayn. And nothing will ever replace the fuzzy feeling he gets when he listens to Harry's heart.

*

Niall presents when he's thirteen years old. He wakes up sweating and panting into his pillow and he doesn't exactly know what's happening, only that there is a wetness between his legs he can't explain. When he yells for his mum like he's in pain she barges in only a few seconds later. It takes her one sniff to know what's going on and an awkward hour later of her giving him 'the talk' he is alone again.

 _This sucks_ , he thinks. He was supposed to become an Alpha or a Beta like his pack mates but now he's stuck with this Omega bullshit. (Oh yeah, Niall has picked up the swearing pretty soon after he came here). It overtakes his whole brain and makes him fantasize about things that only bring back a too familiar pain. 

So his first heat doesn't turn out to be very satisfying and the days afterwards become even more awkward when grandma Horan takes him to a certain store to buy... toys. His parents are Betas and she's the only Omega in their family, so she's the one to _actually_ explain the important things to him. But _this_ is easily the most embarrassing moment of his life because his grandma knows no shame. She openly talks about it in front of the staff and asks him about his preferences.

"Grandma," he whines and hides his red face behind both hands.

"Oh, don't you grandma me. This is nothing to be ashamed of. Wear your Omega pride like a badge, my dear, and fight for your rights. Anyone would be lucky to have you." She turns around again. "Now, how many inches do you need?"

The staff laughs and Niall hopes the ground will open up and swallow him.

*

He hates being an Omega. It is even worse than before. Everyone in school treats him either like glass or like shit. The Alphas are picking on him but Niall finds that less annoying than the teachers trying to baby him. Just because he's an Omega doesn't mean he can't pick a fight. Because he can and he does so all the time. The only difference is that his mum doesn't come to school anymore. She can't lose the new job that she has and Niall doesn't want her to be here anyway.

"Niall, honey, what happened?" She asks when he walks in with a swollen lip and a black eye.

"Nothing. Just a few a-holes in school." He hops onto the counter of the kitchen and takes one of the ice cubes from his mum's glass of water to press it against his lip.

"Language, Niall. And that is gross, thank you, now I'll have to get a new glass."

He just shrugs and ignores her disapproving look. It has taken her thirteen years to realise that her son is not an angel and Niall can't exactly say that he doesn't like it. He'd rather have his mother yell at him for the stupid things he does than having her pat his hair because she doesn't believe he's capable of being anything else. The only downside now is that he's grounded like, all the time.

"You'll stay at home for the weekend and you won't see or call Travis."

"But mum!" Niall hisses when the words makes the cut on his lip stretch painfully. "Travis has invited me on a camping trip."

"I don't care, Niall. Now go to your room."

Niall groans but obeys, she's his mother after all. Sometimes he wonders if his old mates are struggling the same way he is. They've all been troublemakers before and it seems Niall just can't get out of his skin. But usually he tries not to think about them. One time his mum mentioned them during dinner and Niall was bursting into tears. Now she's avoiding the topic just as much.

But he is old enough now to understand why people have issues with pack dynamics. It dawns on him when he learns about King Henry VIII and the six Omegas he was married to at the same time. It's the same with old Roman and Greek stories about bonds that could tear down empires. A group of Half gods who become immortal and form new stars on the night sky. They are fascinating stories but all of them end in tragedy or death. That's what his teachers tell him every day. Packs aren't forbidden but they only bring ruin to their society. Not all of those bonds are based on romantic feelings and that's what is even more dangerous.

"It's a form of hierarchy that is only found in wolves and other canines. It sets us back as a modern society and gives certain groups the validation to behave like animals."

Niall scowls at the teacher. Did he never watch animal documentaries? Wolves aren't mindless, aggressive animals that work like military and follow ranks. Pack means family. But when he says it out loud everyone stares at him like it's bollocks. So he stops talking about it altogether.

* 

Niall is fourteen when he starts dating. He ends up with Travis who presented as a Beta only weeks ago. He has been there for Niall when he had moved here and he doesn't mind Niall's feisty nature, so why not? Niall refuses to choose one of the brainless Alphas at school and Travis is actually quite smart. Niall doesn't love him, but he really, really likes him. That's all anyone could ever ask of him anyway.

But it turns out having Travis as a friend isn't the same as having Travis as a _boy_ friend.

"I just thought you'd settle down a little, you know?" Travis sighs and turns back to his computer.

Niall hates when he does that. Like Niall isn't worth it to be looked at when they talk.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He asks a little too aggressively and sits up on Travis' bed.

"Just... You're always so loud, always talking to other Alphas, challenging them. You don't even bother to cover up some more." He briefly turns around now to wave at Niall's outfit.

Niall likes his skinny jeans and his tank tops with those big holes for his arms that show a bit more of skin. They are comfortable and make him feel pretty, what is wrong with that?

"You've never complained about any of that before, Travis. Why does it bother you now that you're my mate?"

Travis tenses. "Boyfriend, not mate."

Niall rolls his eyes. "It's the same." 

"It's not and you know it. I was just hoping you'd act a little more like an Omega and not like a..." He shrugs and looks back at the screen.

Niall's face is heating up with anger and sick boding. He hopes Travis doesn't mean what he thinks he means. "Like what?" Travis shrugs again. "I said _Like what?_ "

"See?" He whips around angrily this time. "Why is it like that with you? I liked it when you were all sweet and wanted my hugs and my kisses. _That_ is not sweet anymore. You're an Omega and you're behaving like a slut."

Niall's eyes widen. He doesn't know what's worse, being treated like a little kid or like he can't have autonomy over his own body because he's an Omega now. Both hurts equally but the latter is mingled with betrayal because he had thought better of Travis. He had thought Betas would be different but apparently they're full of shit, just like Alphas.

"Is that so?" Niall almost whispers.

Travis mistakes his calmness for submission and just keeps ranting. "I mean, you don't have to act all surprised when Alphas try to feel you up, looking like this."

Niall lets out a laugh. A loud, hysterically laugh that comes deep from his belly. Then he punches Travis square in the face. Needless to say they're not boyfriends anymore after that. Neither boyfriends nor friends.

*

After Travis Niall stops giving a fuck. He keeps wearing his revealing tank tops in school and gets sent home because of is 'inappropriate dress code' while Alphas are allowed to go shirtless during summer. One time he was wearing an oversized sweater that showed just a little of his shoulder and some idiot Beta had yanked it all the way down until it ripped. That Beta ended up with a broken nose and Niall was sent home once again.

He starts to bleach his hair, begs his mum to get him braces for his teeth and starts working out, even though it's not doing much for him. Not doing much as in giving it up after a few months and eating his desserts instead. But he promises to himself that anything he does will be done for himself and not anyone else, not even his mother. 

He wants to be himself, even if that means he ends up without any friends or mates and gets suspended from school for getting into a brawl with other students. At least that gives him time to study at home. There's nothing else to do, really.

Nothing.

*

Niall is fifteen when he decides to date Claire. Claire is an Alpha girl but she doesn't tell him how to dress or how to behave. She's weirdly protective and insists on opening doors for him but he lets it slide because nobody is perfect. (Except for Harry. Harry would be perfect. And where the fuck is _that_ thought coming from?) 

She is gorgeous though, all tall and broad shoulders, long curly red hair and freckles covering her cheeks like stars. She likes to wear plaid skirts and yeah, maybe Niall likes to wear them too, sometimes. Even though they are a little big on him. But Claire praises him and calls him beautiful and no one had ever done _that_ before, not even Travis. In hindsight Niall is wondering why he ever dated Travis... but that is in the past now and they don't even say 'hi' to each other anymore when their eyes meet briefly on the hallway.

Claire is nice. Kissing Claire is nice. Touching her is nice. Everything is _nice_. Unfortunately Niall doesn't want 'nice'. He wants more, but Claire can't give him that. She offers to help him through his heats but he declines, trying to soothe her hurt expression with a kiss. "It's not that I don't want to," he says, but he really doesn't want to and he hates himself for it. "Can't we take things slow?" says Niall, who jumps into everything head first, recklessly. She smiles, but he knows she doesn't believe him.

And when he spends his heat alone he squirms on his bed, thinking about Claire and her smile and her green eyes watching him as he gets himself off on his toys and his own fingers. He loves her green eyes and her curls and _maybe_ they change colour in his head. Maybe they turn a few shades darker, curlier, and her hands become rougher. Maybe that's what gets him off, the image of a boy he tries not to remember, tries not to wonder about. Did he grow even taller? Did his body fill out in the past five years?

Niall comes onto his sheets with the phantom feeling of a body covering his back and hot breath on his skin. He reaches out with his hands, searching for more bodies to join him. Four bodies he tries not to miss. 

He fails.

*

"Come on," Niall whines and pushes his head against Claire's shoulder, trying to make her move from the bed. "Let's head out. We could throw toilet paper at the tree they planted by the school. The headmaster will freak out! Or we break into the zoo and wake the animals. Bet they're all bored."

"Niall," Claire drones and shoves him off. "I need to study. Also, didn't you get enough detention last month? Your mum would ground you forever."

"But I'm bored," he complains and catches the fabric of her sleeve between his teeth to pull at it.

"Fuck's sake, Niall," she growls in her Alpha voice that makes him flinch. "Are you a dog? Maybe they should put _you_ in the zoo."

Niall gapes at her, his stomach sinking. "What?"

Her face softens immediately and then turns horrified when she realises what she just said. "Oh shit." She quickly pulls him into her arms but Niall goes all stiff. "I'm so sorry, baby. I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. I was just... a little annoyed. I'm sorry. I'm _so_ sorry, please forgive me."

He does, but he never feels at ease with her ever again.

 

*

Niall is sixteen when he breaks up with Claire. Or maybe she breaks up with him, he doesn't know. It's almost a mutual decision. The reason is something his mother says, thoughtlessly. She mentions his pack, she uses the specific word and Claire asks him about it when they're alone in his room.

"What did she mean?"

And Niall is tired of everything, tired of talking about it but also of not talking about it, tired of hiding it, so he tells her. He tells her how he met them, tells her about how Liam made him laugh, how Louis lifted even his worst moods, how protective Zayn made him feel and how much he misses Harry's warmth.

"I lost contact to them shortly after I moved here. Haven't seen them ever since." He doesn't even look at her, he just keeps staring up at the ceiling with his arms folded behind his head, licking over his now smooth teeth.

Claire is quiet for a long time and Niall can feel her gaze on him. She's sitting by the window, soft patters of rain the only thing disturbing the silence. Eventually she sighs and Niall hears a thud, like she's dropping her head against the glass.

"Do you really think they are your pack?" She asks quietly.

"I know they are."

"And this Harry..."

Niall freezes. "He is just... He is Harry."

"Niall," she scoffs. "You know you don't have a future with them, right? No one accepts packs here or anywhere. You haven't seen them in years, maybe they're not even together anymore?" Niall snorts. They will always be together. "This is doomed, Niall. Is that why you never let me touch you except for kisses and cuddles? You're waiting for them, aren't you? For that boy. What if he's an Omega like you or a Beta? He can't satisfy you."

"That stuff doesn't matter to me and I thought it didn't matter to you either." Niall braces himself on his elbows to look at her. "You know I was with Travis before, he's a Beta."

She rolls her eyes. "He's an idiot, he doesn't count."

Niall can't help but grin because she's definitely right about that. "Still. I could be with an Omega. All that matters is that I love them."

"Do you love me, Niall?"

"Um." He blinks. "Of course. I tell you all the time."

"Do you love your 'pack'?" She eyes him intensively.

Niall doesn't even think about it. "Yes."

"Say it then. Say 'I love them'"

He wets his lips. "I love them..." And he knows then, instantly, that he said it in a way he never told Claire. "Shit."

"Yeah, shit."

"That's it then, isn't it?"

"Yeah... I don't want to see you for a while."

He nods and watches her leave. He doesn't feel anything, really. He always liked her, he still does. But he doesn't love her and he feels a little guilty for making her think that he did. 

Later that day he visits his grandma and tells her the same thing he's told Claire. More even and in a way not even his mother knows. He tells her about the dreams he has, about old memories and how he wants to run with them like wolves. Everyone is trying to tell Niall that what he feels and what he wishes for is wrong, that he can't have that life.

Grandma Horan thinks otherwise. "You know, when I was younger there lived a pack down the street. They were all Betas and two Alphas and the Alphas were in love, you see? They did everything together, the whole pack and no one really questioned it. People like to pretend that it's a thing from the past but it is not. We shouldn't forget where we came from, Niall."

He is crying, weeping, for the first time in years. He didn't think he still had tears for his pack inside of him but he does. And if he's being honest here, he still misses them, he's not over it, no matter how many boyfriends and girlfriends he gets. They can't replace what he has lost. 

"I don't.. I don't want to give up on them," Niall sobs as his grandma strokes his blonde hair. 

"Then don't."

So yeah, he doesn't.

*

Niall is seventeen when he moves back to London. His mother gets an offer from her old job and agrees immediately. Niall is excited and can't even talk for a whole minute when she tells him. Everything inside of him screams _home, pack, home_ and he can't wait, he wants to go right now.

"You can stay with your father and attend sixth form in a few months."

Niall's eyes widen. "Wait, what?"

"You would be leaving behind all your friends and your father, I can't expect that from you. You should stay here with him."

" _Mum_ , are you serious? You don't actually think I'm going to stay here, do you?"

She sighs and looks at him from across the dinner table. "I guess not. Stupid of me to even think that."

"Yeah," he snorts. "I've been begging you to move back to London for _years_."

"Maybe I just hoped you got over them by now."

"Mum..."

"I know. I should've known. You cried so much on that day." She looks a little pained. "I'm sorry we did that to you, but we didn't have much of a choice."

"I know. It's fine. But let me go with you, okay?"

"Okay."

And that is that. He will finish year twelve and thirteen in London. Hopefully he will see his pack mates again and... and what? He wonders about it all the time while packing his stuff into huge moving boxes and he _still_ wonders about it when he's unpacking them in London. It's a tiny apartment and his bed barely fits into his room along with his desk and a wardrobe. He doesn't touch the closet once. It's small but it's alright, he doesn't feel very claustrophobic since the windows are big enough. A fire escape is kind of blocking the view, not that it's a nice view, but he doesn't even mind that. He's back in London, that's all that matters.

Unpacking goes quickly. He sets his guitar on the desk and hangs the Irish flag above his bed, the one his classmates had given him by the end of the year to say goodbye. He's pretty sure it was his teacher's idea though, since none of them ever cared about him but he kept it anyway. It's a nice flag and no matter how much he has missed London, Ireland was amazing. He loves Ireland. There are just some things he loves more. Maybe he should go to his old neighbourhood and look for his pack, maybe they still live there?

That's when the panic sinks in and the doubt begins to grow in his chest like cancer. What if they _don't_ live there anymore? What if they all moved away? Oh god, what if they don't want to see him? Are they angry with him because he never called them back? What if they hate him? 

"Shit," Niall growls and throws his snapback onto the floor, tears the flag from his wall and bangs his head against it instead. He's stupid, he has been so stupid, why did he allow for the contact to break off? Why hadn't he done something about it instead of crying into his pillow like a baby? Maybe they would still want him then. Because right now he is absolutely sure that they have forgotten about him.

"What's that noise, Niall, I thought you were-- Oh my god, stop that." His mother wrenches him away from the wall and pulls him into her arms. He is crying, sobbing even, and whimpers when she presses his head against her chest. "Shhh, pup. I'm right here, don't cry. Everything will be fine."

"They forgot about me, mum. They d-don't even... remember me."

"Who?" He just keeps whimpering. "The boys? Don't say that, Niall. Don't you remember how much they cried when you left, how much _you_ cried? Neither your father nor I liked how close you were to them... but I know that it's not something you forget about, ever."

Her words do little to help him calm down and eventually she leaves him be. He stays on his bed where he wraps himself in the flag and keeps cursing into his pillow. He is an idiot, really. He hasn't done anything in his life so far because he was waiting for the day he'd meet them again and now it all feels like a waste. They've all become Alphas or Betas probably and have no use for a lowly Omega. Maybe they'll think of him as pathetic.

So he doesn't go to their houses and spends the rest of the summer break in his room, moping and crying.

*

His first day of school starts pretty boringly. The teacher introduces him to the class and he is kind of like an Alien to them, more because he's from Ireland than him being an Omega. There are two other Omegas in this class, a small ginger boy and a slightly taller girl with blonde hair and blue eyes. They're all polite (so far) and greet him with (false?) enthusiasm, so he smiles back at them and puts on an exaggerated Irish accent to make them laugh.

Classes are not very different from his old school and Niall has no problem to keep up with them. The only subject he still hates is maths. He was allowed to choose his other three options on his own but his mum had insisted on him keeping maths for whatever reason. But he kind of just zooms out for a few minutes, then tries to concentrate again before his gaze drifts off to the window once more. So he just gives up and spends the rest of the lesson on his phone browsing the internet. That makes it at least a bit more bearable and silly internet memes are the only thing that keeps him going these days. _That_ and lunch break.

He foregoes the vegetables in the canteen and goes straight for the dessert instead, with his tongue stuck out between his teeth. That chocolate muffin looks _delicious_. He loads it all onto his tray and then looks for an empty table he can eat at in peace. He scans the canteen with his eyes and feels a bit like he's in _Mean Girls_ where every table is occupied by a specific gang of people. Niall's eyes trail over something that looks like the punk rock table and suddenly he wants to die.

It's them. It's Harry, Liam, Zayn and Louis, _all of them_ sitting there. They laugh and they talk and god, Niall has weak knees because it's his _pack_ and... they look happy. And great. They really stepped up their game, especially Zayn who is not that little pup with a soft face anymore. There's stubble covering his sharp jawline and he has an undercut with long hair on top that he has swept over to one side. He's wearing his leather jacket with an easy smile and then laughs when Louis leans over to whisper into his ear. Louis almost looks the same, his hair is just a bit more spiky and the sleeves of his shirt have been ripped off to show off his muscled arms. But other than that? Niall remembers his cheshire cat grin too well. Liam is a bit different than the rest but he's rocking that skater look with his plaid shirt and the black beanie on his head.

And then there's Harry. God. Harry is big and toned the way Niall had imagined he would be and the sleeves of his Rolling Stones shirt are rolled up to his shoulders. They reveal his strong arms but also his tattoos (all of them have tattoos. How did their parents allow that?) and Niall grips his tray a little harder, drinking in the sight. He can see the muscles of Harry's thighs work under those skinny jeans and _god dammit_ he is still beautiful. His brown curls are a little shorter, held back by a green headband that matches the colour of his eyes. His cheeks are smooth but his whole face has lost its puppy fat, all clean and sharp now instead.

Niall still wants to die. This is his pack and he has no idea how to approach them, especially not like this, with strangers everywhere around them. Besides, how would Niall even fit in with them? They look like rock stars and Niall is just _this_ , an unfinished human being that is too small, with scrawny legs stuffed in a pair of skinny blue jeans. His loose white tank top hides his soft stomach while the snapback he's wearing backwards tames the mess that is his blonde hair. There is no way, just no way they could still want him, is there?

"Wow, look at that," a low voice chuckles beside him. Then there are _fingers_ touching Niall and tugging at his top. 

Niall turns and looks the Alpha in the eye, taking a sidestep to make him let go. He has no time for this bullshit and glowers at the boy who gives him an annoyingly confident grin. He's so pleased with himself, isn't he? He thinks he can just walk around and touch everyone the way he wants.

"The fuck do you want?" Niall growls.

"Oh, come on." The Alpha kid rolls his eyes. "Walking around like that, you're just asking to be stuffed, aren't you? You in heat? Must be, you look so desperate."

And Niall sees red. It's pure instinct when he dips his tray over, lets all the food and his drink tumble to the floor. Then he grabs it with with both hands on each side and smacks it _right_ in the Alpha's face. He's too surprised to see it coming and lands on his back with a groan, holding his head. But Niall doesn't wait for him to recover, he straddles the boy's stomach and starts hitting him with both fists aimed at his face. It turns into a right fight and probably attracts the attention of everyone else in the canteen but Niall doesn't care, he just wants to hurt this stupidly arrogant Alpha boy who finally fights back.

Niall may look small but he knows how to throw a punch and how to play on his strengths. One time a fist collides with Niall's mouth and the taste of blood explodes on his tongue but it's not the first time, why should he care? This pain is nothing compared to the ache in his heart. That's something none of them understand, something that makes them always stare at Niall in wonder because they don't know why he's fighting so hard. Almost like he _craves_ it. Like he wants to cover up the ache with something else. 

"Niall Horan!" A teacher's voice roars through the canteen and only a moment later two pair of hands are pulling him away. Or they try, because Niall's eyes are still fixed on the Alpha's face and even when they manage to pry him off he's struggling to break free. He doesn't even want to know what he looks like right now with his flailing arms and thin legs still kicking after the Alpha, blood dripping from Niall's mouth as he spits it at him, along with a handful of insults.

Well, his first day at school is just _amazing_ , isn't it? But he's so caught up in his spiral of rage that he doesn't notice four pairs of eyes watching him with surprise, amazement, hunger and longing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Niall :')))) Thank you for reading! Feedback is always appreciated <3
> 
> (AND SPECIAL SHOUTOUT TO MY FRIEND WHO HELPS ME WITH TYPOS AND SHIT BECAUSE I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M GOING <33 I love you)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank yoouuuu for all your comments on my last chapter! <3

"Niall Horan. This is your first day at school and you already got into trouble." The headmaster doesn't even look up from the file. "Now, I understand that it's not an easy situation to deal with, especially not as an Omega, but I can't have my students get physical with each other like that."

Niall only scowls with a tissue pressed against his lip to stop the bleeding. "He was touching me."

"And he will be disciplined just like you, but violence is not the answer." Niall snorts and that finally makes the headmaster look at him with a frown. "So you think it _is_ an answer?"

Shit, Niall knows what that look means. It means he is going to call his mother and Niall can't have that. She will freak out and ground him for a month. On top of that she'll probably leave her workplace and Niall doesn't want to get her fired again.

"Listen," Niall sighs and sits up in his chair. "I'm sorry I freaked out. This is not an easy situation for me... I just moved here and I got bullied at my old school. It's an impulse I'm trying to control and... today I lost it. I promise it won't happen again."

He is using his puppy eyes and raises his shoulders to indicate submission. Everything in Niall screams _not_ to do it but this time he has to. To get off the hook just this once. Any other day he'd gladly take the punishment but not on his first day at school. His mother would be so disappointed.

The headmaster takes a deep breath. "Fine. Just this once, Mr. Horan. But I _will_ suspend you for the rest of the day and you _will_ talk to your parents about your anger issues. If I hear you causing trouble again there will be consequences."

Niall nods like a good boy. "Of course, Mr. Cowell."

He nods. "Off with you then and clean yourself up."

Niall leaves the office in under five seconds and flees down the corridor because _shit_ that was close. Maybe it's a good thing that he can skip the rest of his classes and go home to get the blood out of his top. There's no way he'll do it in the school's bathrooms where anyone could walk in. So Niall keeps running and slides a few feet across the floor when he tries to dive around a corner. Luckily everyone is still having classes so no one sees him or asks him stupid questions when he leaves the building. He sighs with relief when he can finally take a deep breath of fresh air. He hadn't even realised that he was about to freak out again. This was just an awfully eventful day and he doesn't even know yet what to do about Harry and the rest.

"Nialler!"

Niall has almost reached the school gate when he hears the voice behind him. It sounds faintly familiar while the nickname is _very_ familiar and his heart picks up speed when he turns around. Four figures are running towards him and Niall can't move because it's _them_ , his boys, his pack and they look _happy_ to see him. All fear and doubt suddenly melts away and it's so easy to drop his bag and raise his arms instead.

Louis reaches him first and barrels right into him, almost knocking him to the ground and then there are Zayn and Liam, too. They push and push until he _does_ tumble over and they are yelling his name, grinning and laughing and Niall can't help but smile back at them. He loops his arm around Liam's neck, buries his fingers in Zayn's hair and they rub their noses against his shoulder and his neck, breathing him in, like they're making sure it's really him. Niall pushes his own nose into Louis' hair and yes, he still smells the same, like a freshly printed book he wants to bury his face in. Zayn smells like the best kind of honey, just a tiny bit sweeter than back then and Liam is like a summer storm he wants to be caught in during a road trip or something.

They are all Betas, Niall realises, they didn't change at all and Niall hugs them just a little tighter while Zayn whimpers into his ear, whispering his name like a question waiting to be answered. They have missed him, apparently. Truly missed him. It makes Niall's heart swell and pound against his ribcage, threatening to burst it. 

Then there's a deep growl above him that shakes all four of them to the bone and a hand shoving at Louis' head to make him move. It's Harry who climbs on top of him with wide eyes and parted lips. He's panting heavily, but not from the running, he's taking in Niall's scent. Everything about him screams _Alpha_ and Niall can't help but loose his hands around the others to reach out and pull him into his arms. Harry follows willingly, with a tiny gasp, and presses his whole body down until Niall can't feel anything but him and not even smell anything else. It's so warm and so familiar, Niall doesn't know what to do, can't even say anything, he just _breathes_. If Harry had smelled like a green meadow and a warm bonfire before he now smells like a wildfire that is about to burn down a forest. It's perfect and right in a way Claire never has been.

Niall can still feel Zayn's hand on his shoulder and Liam's fingers stroking his arm that is wrapped around Harry's neck and _fuck_ , he didn't think he'd ever have this again. They are here and Niall is here and suddenly the world is alright again. 

"Hey, Nialler," Harry whispers against the corner of his mouth and Niall swallows hard.

"Hey, Hazza," he murmurs back and feels Harry shudder at the old nickname. His lips part slightly against Niall's chin, hot tongue sweeping over the dried blood that is still stuck to his skin. It would be so easy to turn his head and catch Harry's mouth with his own and damn, the urge is strong. But he can't just do that. " _Fuck_."

His swearing seems to make Harry realise where they are and what they're doing because he recoils immediately, staring down at Niall. "Shit."

Louis is barking out a laugh beside them. "Harry, you're a fucking animal sometimes."

"Shut up, Lou." Harry shoots a dark look at him but Louis seems unimpressed.

"He is right though and we should probably move," Liam adds.

They all quickly climb back to their feet and Niall pushes himself up as well, patting down his back to get rid of the dust. Then they crowd in on him again.

"We should go back to my place, my parents are still working," Liam says.

"Good idea," Zayn approves and smiles at Niall.

"You _are_ staying, right?" Louis asks.

Niall blinks. He has been hoping they would be excited to see him but it's still overwhelming. Louis is stroking his cheek, waiting for an answer, while Zayn holds on to his sleeve and Liam rests a hand on his back. Harry has his chin hooked over Louis' shoulder and watches Niall intensively, like he's ready to pounce. It's a new expression on Harry that Niall isn't familiar with but he has to admit that he quite likes it. Then again, he likes everything about Harry. Still. 

"I'm staying," Niall tells them and then flinches when Louis' thumb touches his still throbbing lip.

"Sorry," Louis says and pulls away. "For real though? You're not leaving again?"

Niall shakes his head. "I'm not leaving." _Ever again_. "I moved back here with my mum."

"Good," Zayn says. "We wouldn't let you leave anyway. Not this time."

Niall can neither hold back the giggle that bubbles up in his throat nor the flush to his cheeks. He is happy and brimming with so heat he could start a fire. It makes all of them smile at him and then they pull him along to a car that seemingly belongs to Liam. None of them are little kids any more, are they? 

Louis offers Harry the front seat but he just shakes his head and pats Louis' shoulder. "You take it."

Louis frowns at him. "Okay?"

Harry shrugs and then climbs into the back where Niall is already sitting next to Zayn. He's beaming at Niall and it still looks like it did back then, the smile is lighting up his whole fucking face. Niall is so fucked, isn't he? All those innocent touches when he was younger don't seem so innocent anymore with this tall and ridiculously handsome version of Harry right next to him. But then there are fingers slipping into his and Niall looks down at Zayn's hand that has a beautiful tattoo on the back of it. Niall bites his lip and squeezes his fingers because he had forgotten how good it feels to hold hands with Zayn. Harry soon inches a little closer, raising his hand to the back of Niall's neck to rub soothing circles into it with the pad of his thumb. Niall sighs.

"You alright though, Nialler?" Louis turns in his seat to look back at him. "We saw you fighting with that idiot earlier. And your lip looks pretty bad. Might become an ugly bruise."

"I'm fine," Niall insists. "Not the first time and won't be the last time."

"What did he do?" Liam asks while keeping his eyes on the road.

"He touched me without my consent and thought I wanted to fuck." Niall shrugs.

A collective growl erupts in the car and the hand on Niall's neck tightens.

"I'm glad you punched him," Harry says and leans over to brush his nose against his temple.

Niall grins. "More than once."

"Glad to know you didn't change," Zayn grins, too.

The ride to Liam's home is quickly over and Niall's stomach flutters when he realises that it's still the same house. It's exactly the same way Niall remembers it and even Liam's room looks like it did back then. It just got a little more mature. The car posters are gone, replaced by bands that Niall doesn't really listen to. The bed is where it used to be, only the desk has been moved to the window.

"Make yourself feel at home," Liam hums behind Niall and then throws himself onto his bed, face first.

Zayn and Louis are quick to join him and then Louis is patting the space next to Liam, grinning at Niall. Well, it's good to know that he isn't the only one who has been thinking about this all day. He grins back and drops his snapback by the bed before he crawls in next to Liam, pillowing his head on his arm. It feels so good already but then he spots Harry standing around awkwardly with a hesitant expression on his face. He bites his lip and frowns down at them. What is he waiting for?

"Come on, Hazza," Niall says with a smile and lifts one hand, beckoning him over.

Apparently that's all it needs for Harry to crumble because a moment later he has joined them with a low whine. Niall expects Harry to pull him close and go full Alpha on him but he doesn't. Instead he's wiggling down a little until he can push his head into Niall's waiting arms, forehead pressed to his chest as he breathes in. Fuck, he's still that same little boy, isn't he? He hasn't changed at all. Niall chuckles and wraps both arms around Harry, raking his fingers through the curly mess that is his hair. 

"Oh my god," Louis moans.

"Can you keep your porn voice down, Tommo?" Liam snorts.

"No way, this feels amazing."

He is right, it does feel good. There is Liam's warm body against his back and Harry in his arms. There's also Louis' hand touching his waist and Zayn's head on his leg. This is what he has missed all these years. This is what his life could've been like if his dad hadn't gotten this stupid job in Mullingar. 

"We missed you so much," Harry murmurs against Niall's heart, that stupid little heart that finally stops aching.

"I missed you too," Niall whispers and feels everyone's grip tighten on him.

All his senses are heightened and he can still smell them, all of them, even though Harry's scent is the strongest. But they all melt together into something he can only call _pack_ and honestly, it's the happiest Niall has ever been. So after 7 years of insomnia and inner unrest, Niall drifts to sleep like it's nothing. Because he is home.

*

Niall almost jolts awake a few hours later. At least he assumes it's only been a few hours since the sun is still up and Liam doesn't have a clock in his room. He doesn't know what woke him up, maybe a dream. Or maybe it was the fear of waking up alone. But he isn't alone, he's warm and cosy with his pack mates snoring softly around him. Only his leg feels a little uncomfortable and damp which makes him believe that Zayn is currently drooling on him. Well, he'd let them do so much more to him if it means he gets to stay here, like this. Niall sighs and buries his nose deeper into Harry's hair, taking a deep breath of that musky scent that makes his skin itch with want.

Yeah, he's definitely fucked. He doesn't even know if Harry will like him this way. To be honest he doesn't know _anything_ about these boys. Yeah, they've missed him but do they forgive him? They can't just go back to the way they were. It's been seven god damn years. His mouth feels very dry suddenly and his head starts to pound.

"Shit," he breathes and slowly untangles himself from Harry because _somehow_ his sleepy brain had thought it was a good idea to hook his leg over Harry's waist and pull him even closer.

He tries to be careful and lets Zayn's head slip onto the sheets without waking him before he moves away from Liam and Louis until their fingers loose around the fabric of his top. It's not easy to get out of bed and he has to climb over Harry but he manages. He's not running or leaving, he just... needs some air. And something to drink.

He grabs his snapback from the floor and then sneaks down the stairs. The kitchen hasn't changed in the slightest. The tiles still have an ugly blue colour and there's still a stain next to the stove where they all messed around with food dye when they were little. God, he didn't think it would hurt that much. The memories and the happiness. It's not a bad ache but it still pains him.

With another sigh Niall opens the fridge to get himself some orange juice and that's when a voice pipes up behind him.

"Is that you, Liam? I have some of your..." The voice trails off and when Niall turns around he sees Karen Payne frowning at him. 

"Oh," Niall says and sets the juice down on the counter. "I'm sorry, I didn't-"

" _Niall_?" She's staring at him with wide eyes.

"Um, yes-"

" _Oh my god_." And then he's crushed in a hug that steals his breath away because Liam's mum is squeezing him very hard. "It really _is_ you, isn't it?" Then she pushes him away to an arm's length so she can examine him properly. "Look at you, you've grown up!"

"Yeah." Niall doesn't know what else to say. He didn't even think she'd remember him, even though he's spent a lot of time here as a kid.

She gives him a watery smile and cups his cheeks. "I'm really glad to see you, Niall. Does Liam know? Do the boys know?"

"Um." Niall nods. "Yes, they're upstairs, I just wanted to," he waves at the orange juice, "drink something?"

"Of course!" And then she goes into full mother mode and fills a glass for him, making sure that he drinks all of it.

"Thank you," he says eventually and hands her back the glass. He feels a little better already. 

"You're welcome, my dear. I think this calls for some celebration. Do you still like cake? I will bake you a cake."

"Karen, you don't have to-"

"Hush!" She's already grabbing bowls from the shelves. "Go back upstairs, I'll call you when I'm done."

So Niall has no other choice but to do just that, with a dopey smile on his lips. Yeah, somehow he has missed his pack's parents as well. But the smile soon fades when he makes his way back up the stairs and already hears frantic talking behind Liam's door. Somehow he hoped he could just snuggle up to them without them even noticing that he was gone but that is not an option anymore. He swallows hard and wipes his sweaty hands over the front of his top before he carefully opens the door. The talking stops immediately and they're all on their knees on the bed, staring at Niall.

"Hey," Niall murmurs.

" _See?_ " Liam punches Harry in the arm. "I told you so."

"What?" Niall gives them a nervous smile. "Thought I left?"

"Nah, mate." Louis looks like he's about to burst into a laugh. "Harry just thought we had a collective hallucination and that you aren't really back."

"He tried to find your scent in Liam's sheets, it was really pathetic," Zayn adds.

"I'm gonna murder you," Harry growls and suddenly attacks Zayn, teeth first. They sink into his clothed shoulder and Niall can hear Zayn yelp in response. They wrestle around while Liam lets out an annoyed groan and Louis just watches with a grin. Niall is still just standing there, hand on the doorknob. What is he supposed to do? Eventually Harry pulls away from Zayn and lifts his head. His eyes are fixed on Niall.

"So... you gonna stand there all day?"

Niall's grip on the doorknob tightens for a moment. Then he finally steps inside and closes the door behind him. "Sorry..."

"What's wrong?" Zayn tilts his head.

"Nothing, just..." They all look at him so fucking fondly, Niall can barely stand it. " _I'm sorry_ ," he blurts out.

"What?" Louis frowns. "Sorry for what?"

"I'm sorry I didn't call any of you back." Niall can't even look at them, he just drags the snapback from his head over his eyes. "I'm sorry I was such a bitch about everything. I was so sad all the time and I missed you so much, I didn't... I didn't know what to do. And then I was angry when I called and you weren't there and then I didn't pick up when you called. It was a right mess. Then my parents got divorced and I had to move again. God, I'm so sorry. I wanted to reach out to you but I was scared, I thought you hated me."

The last sentence is nothing but a whisper and he claws his fingers deeper into the cap, pressing it against his eyes so he doesn't start to cry. He just really hopes they won't hate him. He wouldn't know what to do if they did. 

"Niall," Zayn whimpers from across the room.

"We wouldn't-" Liam starts but gets cut off by Louis obscenely loud voice. 

"We would never hate you, oh my god!"

Then a strong scent fills Niall's nose and mouth and fuck, it really gives him weak knees. Harry pulls the snapback from his face and drops it to the floor carelessly before he loops both arms around Niall. It's a good hug, even though Harry is much taller and broader than him.

"We were pups, Niall. We were all a little... _I_ was awful. I'm sorry I yelled at you about your friend. I'm so sorry. When your phone number wasn't working anymore we sent you a letter but it came back. We already figured that you moved again and just... we were just waiting then. But it doesn't matter anymore because you're back, okay? You're not leaving and we're not leaving and... it's good now. Let's not talk about the past."

Niall nods against his chest. "Okay."

He lets Harry pull him back to the bed and he feels instantly calm again. It's like he's been depressed for years and finally found the right combination of meds to make him feel like himself again. It's amazing, really. 

"Just tell us what we missed," Louis says with his head resting against Zayn's shoulder. "The important bits that mattered to you."

Niall thinks about it. "There wasn't much. I presented when I was thirteen."

"Ohh, we were all fourteen," Louis chimes in. "Except for Harry, he was eleven."

"Eleven?" Niall frowns. They still were in touch on Harry's twelfth birthday. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Harry shakes his head. "It was soon after you left. But my mum said I shouldn't tell anyone because it's too early. It's why I was so weird all the time. My hormones were all over the place."

It makes sense. "Sorry, Haz. Must've been tough." Niall smiles at him.

"Yeah," Harry smiles back. "But I'm fine now."

"Anything else? Did you make friends?" Liam pokes into his side.

"Not really..."

Harry raises his eyebrows. "But you liked that Travis guy, didn't you?"

"Oh," Niall scowls into the distance. "Yeah, no. He was my friend and then I dated him for a while. Thought he might be different. But he was just like everyone else... The other kids stayed away from me because I always got suspended and stuff. So there weren't many people. Dated an Alpha girl until last year..." He purposely avoids Harry's gaze. "But that didn't work out either."

"Sorry to hear that," Liam says and ruffles his hair. "But hey, you're blonde now."

"I am," Niall laughs.

"It looks good on you," Harry says from besides him.

Niall grins at him with too much teeth. "Thanks."

But Harry's fond smile suddenly falters. "What the fuck?" Before Niall can ask what's wrong Harry has his hands on his face and pushes at his upper lip with both thumbs. "Did you get fucking _braces_?"

Louis lets out an exaggerated gasp. "Oh no, Nialler. Now you're in trouble. I'll arrange your funeral."

It should be funny but it isn't because Harry truly looks betrayed. He backs off with a deep frown and Niall has to hold back really hard so he doesn't chase the taste of Harry's touch with his tongue.

"I did." Niall shrugs. "Couldn't be a wallflower for the rest of my life, could I?"

"But you were _perfect_ ," Harry whines miserably and drops his head onto Niall's shoulder.

Niall doesn't quite know what to do but _damn_ that little whine and the way Harry makes himself smaller to fit into the crook of Niall's neck turns him on in a way he didn't know was possible. He looks at Zayn for help but he just shrugs and then raises his arms like it's none of his business. So Niall tries to go for humour.

"Jeez, Harry. Guess I'm not perfect anymore, huh? Makes us a bit more equal then."

Harry sighs. "No, you're still perfect."

Niall feels his face grow hot.

"Harry," Liam warns him but Niall doesn't understand why.

"Shit," Harry pulls back immediately.

Then the door opens and Liam's mum sticks her head in with a smile. 

"Hello, pups. I just wanted to tell you that I popped a cake into the oven. You still like nut cake, don't you?" Niall beams at her and gives her two thumbs up. "Alright, I see you in an hour then."

When the door closes again Liam squints at him. "My mum hasn't baked in years, how did you do that?"

Niall grins and dips back until he lies flat on the bed, putting himself on display. "I don't know, mate. Guess just everyone thinks I'm perfect."

Zayn giggles behind his hand and it makes Niall smile.

"I shouldn't have said anything," Harry grumbles and looks away.

*

They eat a lot of cake and talk more. Turns out he'll see Zayn in his media studies class and they all have a free lesson together on Tuesdays and Thursdays. At least Niall has a reason now to attend school more regularly. _And_ he gets all of their phone numbers. He doesn't tell his mum about it when he's back home but of course he has to explain the bruise on his jaw and she's obviously angry with him but she still lets it go. Probably because she's too irritated by the happy look on his face.

Niall knows he will sleep better tonight because he'll see his pack again tomorrow and it's what makes him go to bed early. As he curls up with his blanket he pulls out his phone from under the pillow to type out a message.

_Goodnight, Hazza_

The response comes in less than a minute.

_Goodnight, Nialler. x_

*

They spend the next day's lunch break outside since it's warm and sunny and there's a long patch of green grass that's just perfect for them. Zayn is drawing something on his sketch-pad while Niall has his head in Liam's lap. He plays a little with Niall's hair and Louis is telling him the story of how he got suspended for a week when he was sixteen.

"Anyway, it wasn't my fault," he concludes.

Harry snorts. "Sure. Those cows just freed themselves, didn't they?"

"Harry," Louis scolds him with a serious expression. "It's not my fault that those cows had a strong urge to be free."

" _Suuure_." Harry rolls his eyes.

Louis ignores him and turns back to Niall. "It's also how I got the bird tattoo."

Niall can't help but burst into a laugh. "What the fuck? What does this have to do with a bird?"

"Ssshhh." Louis puts his index finger against Niall's lips. "Just trust me. It's all connected."

"How do you all have tattoos anyway? How did your parents allow it?"

"We're eighteen, they can't really stop us, can they?" Liam says. "And before that we just hid them under our sleeves."

"But Zayn isn't eighteen yet..."

"Yeah, but I have a cool mum," Zayn grins and doesn't look up from his sketch-pad.

Niall is still giggling when a girl approaches them with a bright smile. He knows her. She's an Omega that sits in two of his classes. She almost bounces on her last few steps and then drops herself into Harry's lap to _fucking kiss him_.

Niall can only stare at them. Harry frowns a little into the kiss but returns it and Niall feels really sick. He's pretty sure he went completely rigid because Liam's hand in his hair falters for a moment. Then there's more pressure, like Liam is trying to calm him down.

"Hey cowboy," the girl whispers against Harry's lips and Niall wants to gag because that's probably the worst pet name he's ever heard.

"Hey." Harry smiles and wraps his arm around her to keep her on his lap. "How was your class?"

"Boring."

Niall can't argue with that since it was the same class as his. She turns to him then with a little surprise and irritation. Niall all but waves at her from where he's still resting in Liam's lap.

"Hey, Taylor." He's quite proud that he remembers her name.

She gives him a soft smile. "Hey, Niall."

"You two know each other?" Why does Harry look so nervous?

"We have two classes together," Niall explains.

"Maths and Psychology." She nods. "How did you end up with these losers here?"

Before Niall can open his mouth Harry answers for him. "He's pack."

Taylor's smile vanishes and she loosens her grip around Harry's neck. "You don't let _anyone_ into your pack."

"Ahh, you see... He is special," Louis tells her and suddenly throws himself at Niall to wrestle him out of Liam's lap. Niall squeals when thin fingers press into his side, tickling him mercilessly.

"Lou, no!" Niall gasps and tries to crawl away but then Louis bites playfully at his arm and sends him into another fit of giggles.

"Aw, but I missed you, Nialler."

"Yeah, I missed you too, you oaf." Niall pushes Louis' face away with a huge grin and sits up. He's pretty sure his hair looks like a mess now and his cheeks are all hot but he feels _good_ even though he felt like crying a moment ago.

Harry is looking at Niall with his bottom lip between his teeth while Taylor watches him curiously.

"Okay," she finally says and turns back to Harry. "Hey, can you walk me to my classroom? I want to show you the dresses I found in that magazine."

"Dresses," Harry echoes. "Dresses?"

"For prom?"

"… The year just started. Prom is months away."

Taylor shrugs. "I just want to find the right one that we both like. Come with me, please."

"Taylor, I'm with my pack right now and..." he hesitates when she starts to pout at him.

Niall rolls his eyes and kicks Harry's leg with the flat of his shoe.

Harry hisses loudly. "Niall, what the fuck?"

"Don't be fucking rude, Haz. Go with your girlfriend."

Taylor smiles at him like the fucking sun. "See, babe? Come on."

Harry grumbles something Niall can't hear but then he shoves his arm under Taylor's bum and lifts her up while rising to his feet. _Damn_ , those arms. Taylor laughs when he sets her down again and then they just walk away. Niall wipes off his smile as soon as Harry's back is facing him and takes a deep breath. Then he slowly turns to the other three boys who are watching him carefully. Even Zayn is looking up now.

"So..." he starts but is cut off when he hears fast feet behind him and then there's a body pressing up against his side.

"Knock knock," Harry whispers, hot breath in his ear.

Niall literally gets goosebumps all over his body. "Who's there?"

"Irish." He can hear Harry grin.

"Irish who?" Niall raises an eyebrow and slightly turns his head.

Harry pulls away to look him straight in the eye. "Irish you a wonderful day."

Then he simply takes off again and joins a waiting Taylor. Niall looks after him with his mouth hanging open and he has no idea what just happened. All he knows is that he's buzzing like a fucking bee and wants to run after Harry to push him against a wall and kiss him until he begs him to stop.

"You're fucked, mate." Louis gives him a sympathetic smile.

 _Don't I know it,_ Niall thinks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you freak out: I don't intend to turn this into a long cringy love triangle mess because I don't like this stuff much. So you don't have to worry about that. But I still hope you liked this chapter and their reunion... let me know <3
> 
> ANOTHER SHOUTOUT TO MY FRIEND WHO HELPS ME WITH TYPOS AND STUFF. You're amazing and I love you.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sooooo sorry that it took so long. I'm usually faster at writing but this time it was just really hard? I'm not sure why. But at least the chapter is longer this time and all fluffy. I hope you enjoy it <3

The worst thing is: Niall can't hate Taylor. She's sweet and smart and she obviously cares about Harry a lot. She looks at Harry like he hung the moon and Niall can absolutely relate. Her and Niall aren't that different actually. They both like to dance (not well but still) and they both play the guitar. They even jammed together one time while hanging out with the pack but Niall couldn't really enjoy it because Zayn didn't join them.

"I... kinda stopped playing," he had said and part of Niall's world shattered.

"What? Why?"

Zayn shrugged. "It wasn't the same without you... I got more into the arts instead. Painting, drawing... graffiti."

Honestly, Niall can't blame him and he's happy that he's doing something else he loves but still... playing without Zayn is weird and he and Taylor don't harmonise as well. It's still nice he supposes and she even compliments him afterwards.

"Shit, you're really good," she says with a smile.

"Thanks. You too." He smiles back.

"I wanna hear Wonderwall," Harry declares and the other boys howl in approval. Only Taylor rolls her eyes.

"Come on, Wonderwall? That's so cliché. Everyone plays that stupid song."

There is an irritated silence and Niall can see Zayn chew on his lip like he wants to say something and Harry gives her a plain scowl. She doesn't look like she knows why everyone's upset about what she just said, so Niall takes pity on her.

"It's like, our song, Taylor. We played it together back then."

Her eyes widen and her cheeks grow a bit red. "Oh. I didn't know. Sorry."

"It's fine." Niall gives her an evil grin. "But now you have to listen to it for the next few hours on repeat."

*

Sometimes they spend their afternoons at the park and lounge about in the grass like today. Niall has gotten so used to their presence again that he has no problem anymore with throwing himself at them like he used to when they were little. They used to tussle a lot back then and Niall still likes to test his strength, especially now that he's the only Omega in their pack. He couldn't do this with anyone in Mullingar, they were all so serious and Travis didn't like anything that made him sweat. Claire was different but ever since she called him a dog he hadn't really gone close to her again. So he enjoys this a lot and lets himself get tackled down by Liam who has some serious power in his arms. He could totally compete with Harry. 

Zayn is the only one who never initiates anything, still shy and quiet when it comes to that. But somehow Liam manages to make him join them. Niall remembers that it was always Louis who managed to _talk_ Zayn out of his shell, but Liam is the one who literally _drags_ him out of it. It's fun to watch them roll across the grass and Niall is still out of breath when something attacks him from behind, pushing him into the ground face first. Niall lets out a little squeal and then squirms hard, warm breath in his hair.

"Never turn your back on your enemy," Harry says theatrically and Niall can't help but grin.

"You're not my enemy, Haz."

He's struggling and tries to get his knees under himself to push Harry off. There are several gasps and then Harry is laughing when Niall finally gets an arm around his neck. They are just a bunch of limbs tussling on the ground and sometimes they accidentally hit each other in the face or in the ribs, but honestly? This is the best feeling of all, to mess around with his pack until his muscles burn. He will wake up with new bruises, a reminder that they're together again. It will hurt but in a good way.

A few moments later Niall finds himself on his back again with a panting Harry on top of him, hair sticking out like a scarecrow. It looks ridiculous and Niall is about to say something clever when Harry's eyes drop to his lower half. _Oh god_ , he's lifting the hem of Niall's black tank top and sticks his fucking head underneath. Now, it's not something weird to do, as pups they've blown raspberries into each other's bellies so often Niall couldn't even count them. He giggles at the sensation but that's not all that's happening with his body right now and the laugh is followed by another gasp when he feels Harry's teeth graze his skin. 

Niall tries to grab his head through the top but then Harry starts to suck at the soft skin right above his navel and Niall wants to pass out. He's closing his eyes just for a moment, shamelessly enjoying it, even though he knows he shouldn't. And Harry _purrs_ low in his throat, looking for another spot to sink his teeth in.

"You should really stop," Niall murmurs when he remembers that they're in public and their behaviour could cause some serious trouble.

"Don't wanna," Harry slurs against his skin. "You're all soft here."

"Yeah, I know." Niall doesn't feel very comfortable about the little flab he has there but killing himself over it by working out is even less comfortable. He usually doesn't let anyone belittle him for it and remembers punching someone who did just that a couple of years ago. Niall should probably stop punching people. But then who will punch the people who deserve to be punched? "I don't work out anymore, it's too hard. Sorry."

Harry mutters something that sounds like "shut up" and "perfect" and basically melts into him. He's gone completely limp, only holding Niall down with his weight, completely consumed by his task. A sly grin steals itself on Niall's lips.

Before Harry can say anything else or _do_ something, Niall gathers all of this strength and manages to roll them over. Harry slips out from under his top with a quite embarrassing yelp and Niall quickly straddles his stomach, pushing down on his arms with both knees.

"Don't get distracted by your enemy," he hums, fingers pressing lightly against Harry's throat. Harry doesn't respond, he just stares up at him with his eyes glazed over in a way Niall hasn't seen before. It makes his eyes look even greener and he doesn't even _try_ to get free. So Niall bends down a little and hears Harry suck in a soft breath. "Do you yield, then?"

Harry doesn't seem able to speak, he just gives a small nod and Niall can feel his throat jump under his hand. Niall lets out a victorious growl and then softly bites at Harry's jaw, making sure that he knows it's all just for fun.

"Not bad, Nialler!"

When Niall looks up he sees Louis approaching them. He said he would join them a little later because he had to go on some errands. He's grinning and swings around a plastic bag but Niall can't see what's inside of it.

"Where were you? What is that?" Niall asks.

Louis dangles the bag in front of his eyes and Niall finally pushes himself off of Harry to grab it. Inside there are various types of chocolate bars, toffees and biscuits. There's literally a ton of it and Niall is 99% sure that Louis didn't actually buy any of these and just stole them instead. He beams.

"My hero!" Niall nudges his nose against Louis' cheek and Louis makes a delighted sound, obviously pleased with himself.

"You're welcome!" Then he bounces over to where Zayn and Liam are still pushing and pulling against each other and just throws himself on top of them.

There's yelling and groaning like someone's in pain and they quickly make room for Louis who laughs at them. Niall still wants to cry every time he sees his friends like that, like they're a proper pack, a family. He didn't talk about the concept to anyone since his classmates gave him those odd looks back then. But these boys _are_ his pack and they say it freely, not giving a fuck about what anyone else thinks. Niall wishes he could've been here with them through all of it. 

With a sigh he slumps back into the grass with the candy on his lap and gets out the first chocolate bar. Chocolate and peanut butter, it's just the best! Harry sits up as well, still looking a little wrecked and Niall kind of wants to push him back down, just to see him getting all soft and meek again. He has seen Harry punch a grown man in the face just the other day for insulting Liam and Zayn. But just a moment ago he probably would've let himself get punched by Niall and it's honestly making his skin itch with need. _Fuck_ , Harry has a girlfriend, a _mate_ , Niall doesn't even stand a chance...

"Lou, why do you always spoil him?" Liam shakes his head and drops into the grass on Niall's other side. They all form a little circle and Louis is hooking his leg over Zayn's.

"Well fuck you, Liam. I couldn't do it for the past seven years, I have a lot of catching up to do."

Zayn rolls his eyes. "Like you're not doing it, Li."

Liam throws a casual arm around Niall's shoulders. "But not like that."

Niall doesn't even listen, he's too focused on the taste of his chocolate. He's already looking back into the bag, deciding which he will try next when a hand sneaks its way inside, trying to steal from Niall.

"Harry!" Niall gasps and slaps his hand away. 

Harry makes a wounded noise in the back of his throat and cups his fingers with one hand. But that little pout on his lip isn't breaking Niall and he squints at Harry until the Alpha boy ducks his head and rubs his cheek against Niall's bare shoulder. 

"Sorry," he mutters.

Okay no, apparently Niall _is_ that easy to break. He can't help but smile and comb back Harry's curls that are all tangled up, his headband doing a shit job at keeping them in check. The skin on his face is still a little flushed and it creeps down over his throat and his chest that is peeking out of his half unbuttoned shirt. Niall can see more of his tattoos and a thin scar across his skin (he will about ask it later). Harry is so beautiful and smells like summer, he wants to lick him all over.

"See?" Niall praises and brushes his lips against Harry's hairline. "I knew you'd still be a good boy."

Maybe Niall just imagines the tremor that goes through Harry's body but he definitely doesn't imagine the little whine that puffs against Niall's skin. He has to try really hard not to climb Harry like a fucking tree. So when he looks up and catches Zayn smirking at him he just scowls back. Somehow that makes Zayn's grin grow even wider and Niall grabs some chocolate from his bag to throw it at him.

"Shut up, Zayn."

He easily dodges the candy with an offended look. "I didn't say anything."

"Huh?" Harry raises his head with a confused expression.

"You shut up too," Niall tells Harry and stuffs a toffee into his mouth.

*

Now that Niall doesn't withhold anymore from scenting his pack at any given time, his smell changes. Or rather he starts to smell like them and of course his mother notices. When he pops in a few hours later she's already at the stove cooking something that smells delicious. Niall looks over her shoulder to see what it is and makes a happy noise when he sees his favourite sauce bubbling in the pot.

"That smells so good," he moans.

"Go wash your hands and I'll fill you a plate."

Niall has never cleaned his hands so fast before. When he comes back his mother sets the plate in front of him and Niall digs right into the pasta with his fork. He has just eaten a crazy amount of candy but there is always room for his favourite dish.

"So," his mother pipes up, "how are the boys?"

Niall drops the pasta from his fork when it's already halfway to his mouth. The impact makes the sauce splatter around and he hisses when it ruins his top.

"Mum," he complains.

"We have a washing machine, Niall."

He rolls his eyes but puts the fork down to wipe at his top so he doesn't have to look at her.

"So?" She questions again.

"I don't know what you mean."

"Niall, you reek of them. At first I couldn't place it but it was familiar and then I realised the last time you smelled like that was before we moved back to Ireland. You found them again, didn't you? That's why you spend so much less time in your room. I didn't say anything because you looked happy and I wanted you to connect with other kids at your school."

Niall sighs and finally meets his mother's eyes. She doesn't look angry. "They're at my school, all of them. I have Zayn in one of my classes."

She nods. "Why didn't you tell me?"

He shrugs and gives her a nervous smile. "I didn't know how you'd react. You weren't very happy with us back then."

"That's true. It _was_ true. But all I want for my little pup is to be happy, that's what is most important to me."

Niall feels a familiar sting in his eyes and quickly lowers them back to his plate. "Okay."

"Invite them over whenever you want, alright?"

"Okay," he repeats. "Thanks, mum."

After finishing the rest of his meal Niall goes back to his room and strips out of his top. He bunches it up and throws it into the basket before he climbs into his bed with a sigh. It was a good day, a really nice day and Niall is kind of happy that Taylor wasn't there. He can at least pretend then that Harry isn't hers and that his crush isn't that hopeless. _Crush_ he calls it but fuck, he is in love with Harry. He feels like he always has been. Maybe Harry had felt something similar back then but now he is with someone else who makes him happy, so what reason would he have to be with Niall?

He grunts in frustration, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes. The others know how he feels and he wonders if Harry has picked up on it, too. It's not something you can just _ask_ someone and Niall doesn't want it to become awkward between them. But at the same time he doesn't know how long he can keep going, how long he can stop himself from kissing him, claiming him the way his whole body wants to.

"Fuck," he curses and pushes one hand into the tight pocket of his jeans, tugging out a white bandana, the one Harry had been wearing earlier. 

He didn't _mean_ to steal it but... it was lying around in the grass all carelessly after Harry had taken it off and Niall really meant to give it back to him before they parted. Only he never did. And now Niall still has it and he can't help but press it against his nose, taking a deep breath. It's unmistakably Harry's smell with a slight hint of the shampoo he uses but the rest is all him, the musky rich scent of the Alpha Niall wants to lose himself in. He moans as he rolls into his stomach, pressing his whole face into the little piece of fabric. The scent takes over his whole brain, makes him think about how it would be like to have Harry actually here. 

He's big enough to cover Niall's whole body with his own and he craves the weight of it, tries to actually feel it on his skin. Another soft moan escapes his lips and he pushes his hips against the mattress, feeling himself already growing wet and hard. That's all it takes, a smell and a simple thought and he's aroused in a way Claire could never make him feel. It's almost annoying how much he wants Harry, how it riles him up. Niall quickly rolls onto his back again and reaches down to fumble with the zip of his jeans and then he pushes it down far enough to free his cock. Shit, he's already soaked through and quickly wraps one hand around his dick, using the other to keep the fabric tucked against his nose. He imagines Harry's hands to be a bit softer than his own, he knows they are all rough from playing the guitar so much. 

The only problem is he doesn't know if Harry would be gentle or harsh. Would he fuck Niall raw until his body aches or would he make sweet love to him like the sap Niall knows he can be? Does he want to bite Niall all over or does he prefer to be covered in bruises? Would he beg for it? Fuck, Niall really wants to hear him beg now. Then he realises that Harry is probably both, that he craves it just the way Niall does. He wants to sit in Harry's lap and pull at his hair while he rides him into insanity _and_ he wants to be mounted by him during one of his heats, wants to feel his knot locking them together.

"Shit," he hisses and strokes himself harder, letting the scent engulf him. 

He's panting hard against the scarf, darting out his tongue with a low whine. He wants to taste Harry, wants to savour the smell but it's not the same and it's not real. The only real thing he remembers is Harry on his back in Niall's bed, staring up at him in wonder before he licked his teeth. That and the way Harry had sunk his teeth into Niall's hood, growling at their parents because he didn't want to let go.

Harry must've wanted him, like that, loved him even, and that's what Niall holds on to as he tightens the grip on his dick, not fully satisfied because there's no knot inside of him. But he doesn't want to use one of his toys right now, it would feel cheap and wrong because he knows it's not real. Niall needs it all to be real.

He comes with the memory of their reunion, lets the way Harry had looked at him replay in his brain, like he was the only thing that mattered and ever _would_ matter, like he had forgotten that Taylor even existed. He chokes on his groan, muffled by the fabric on his face as he bucks up his hips, feet scrabbling against the sheets. It thrums through his body from head to toe, makes him spill all over his hand and stomach. It feels good, so good, better than any other time he jerked off. Most likely because he hasn't allowed himself to think about Harry that much before. And he's still lulled by the scent, dragging the fabric over his face once more with a content sigh.

If this already feels so good, how amazing will it be to have the real thing? Now that's something he definitely can't let himself think about. It would make everything even worse. But when Niall finally peels off the rest of his clothes and realises that he's grown so wet he even has to change the sheets... he knows it won't be that easy. So he shoves the Bandana under his pillow and hopes no one will ever find out.

*

Louis and Niall both have a late school day on Wednesday so Niall spends the morning at Louis' place. It's not the same house as back then, the one that was right next to Liam's, because Louis' mum had remarried, a Beta this time. Louis says she's been much happier since then and that's all that matters to him. His room is even bigger than his old one and there are sheets of paper pinned to the wall, some have been written on, others drawn on. 

"Woah," Niall says and takes a closer look. "What's that about?"

"My ideas," Louis explains. "For comics."

"Comics? I love comics! I read spider-man when I was twelve and then I started that one batman series where Bruce Wayne was an Omega and still kicked ass. Apparently it didn't sell so well so they stopped it." Niall is still a little bitter about that. If he could he would write his own stories, but he's not creative enough for that, unlike Louis.

"Yeah, I read that one too, it was so great! Then I thought, maybe I could write my own stories, I just had so much stuff in my head." Louis flops down on his bed.

"I know, you always had the best stories." Niall grins and trails his fingers over Louis' desk where a couple of drawings are laid out. "This is amazing!"

"You think so?" Louis looks quite happy.

Niall picks up one particular drawing of a young man who wears a mysterious grin on his lips and seems to float in the air with his feathered shoes. 

"What's this?" He sits down next to Louis.

"Oh," Louis takes the drawing with a fond smile. "It's part of my latest story. The one I'm actually serious about."

"What kind of story?" Somehow Niall is super excited about this.

"It's about four demigods on a quest to rescue their friend. Two of them are like soulmates, you see? They love each other a lot, it's... kinda like fate. But it's also about finding yourself in a war against the gods and figuring out what kind sacrifices you're willing to make. I haven't decided yet whether they will survive it or not."

Niall chews on his bottom lip and stares at the drawing. There's something familiar about it.

"Is it us? Our pack?" He almost whispers and finally looks up at a smiling Louis.

"In a different universe maybe. Where I'm the greatest of all and save the world." Louis stares into the distance heroically, with his arms folded over his chest. "With my friends, I guess."

Niall grins and elbows him. "You've always been the coolest of us. A real hero."

Louis turns back and his look softens. "Well, you certainly made me feel like one." Then he snatches the drawing from Niall's hand. "Zayn drew that, you know? He's drawing everything, we're working on this together."

"Seriously?"

"Yup. We really want to get this published, you know? And if we can't find someone... I don't know, maybe we'll become our own publishers. Liam is trying to figure out how this stuff works."

It makes Niall's heart swell, to see how earnest and yet nervous Louis seems when he talks about it. Louis never took anything seriously, especially not school related stuff. But this? This is important to him and not even just him, Zayn and Liam are involved in it, too. Louis has always been the loudest, so others won't forget about him and now he's all shy and quiet and proud as he tells Niall more about the story and what he wants to express with it. That is the point, maybe. With this Louis can say whatever he wants, can scream into a void and still feel like someone heard him. He looks happy and that makes Niall happy, too.

"It's amazing, Lou." He gives him a watery smile. "I want to be the first one to read it when it's finished, okay? And you all need to sign it."

Louis snorts. "So you can sell it for a crap ton of money when we're all famous?"

"No, so I can _cherish_ it when you're all famous and forget about little old me."

There's a moment of silence.

"You know," Louis deadpans. "There's no joy in making jokes when you're all sweet like that."

"Maybe that's the point." He smirks.

"Ugh," Louis smacks the drawing into his face. "I can't believe I missed you."

*

The other day Karen Payne invites Niall over for another cake and how can he say no to that? He drives home with Liam after school and enjoys the strawberry cake she bought for him. She didn't make it herself this time but it still tastes delicious and he's all happy and sated when he and Liam fight over the best spot on the sofa. 

What he really likes about Liam and his pack in general is that they never just let him win. Liam is putting real effort into it and Niall _knows_ that he can't win this, but that doesn't mean he's giving up so easily. He starts to sweat as he tries to take Liam out but for a Beta he's really tall and strong and just wraps his arm around Niall's waist to lift him up like a bedroll. Then he gets tossed into the less comfortable spot and almost hits his head at the side table standing right next to it.

"Oh shit, you okay?" Liam raises his fist to his mouth to hide a grin.

"I'm fine," Niall pouts. "You win this time."

"And next time. I have defended this spot on the sofa with blood and sweat and didn't lose to anyone in five years. Louis managed it one time but he cheated so that doesn't count."

"How did he cheat?"

Liam suddenly turns red and coughs into his hand before he drops onto the sofa. "He just did. Anyway, what do you wanna watch?"

Niall still wants to know what Louis did but decides not to press it. If Liam is actually into Louis then it wouldn't be a kindness to pester him. Not that Niall is particularly kind. 

"Well, what do you have?"

"Hmm." Liam grabs his PlayStation controller. "Netflix has this cool documentary about space."

Niall lights up. "Documentary? I'm all in."

It has never been the same again to watch one without Liam. As soon as he starts it, Niall inches closer to lean against him. Liam doesn't even look at him when he lifts his arm and lets Niall snuggle close against his chest. He is warm and his hand feels heavy on Niall's waist but it's still comfortable and makes him feel safe. Honestly, it's what Liam has always been doing and what he's still doing now, whether it's putting an arm around his friend or cheering up Zayn. Also, Liam is probably the only Beta who Alphas actually listen to. Just don't let him hang out with Louis too much because he tends to absorb that childish behaviour or gets even worse. Funny enough, that's when Louis turns into complete mum mode. It's actually fun to watch, but right now he prefers watching documentaries with Liam.

At first Niall had thought they might fall back into old habits and narrate it like they used to but that's not happening. They're not little pups anymore, now they actually understand what the voice tells them and Niall finds himself being completely sucked into it. That is until there's a long bit of silence in which the camera shows them a long stripe of stars in the night sky.

It's when Liam breaks the silence. " _Space... the final frontier..._ "

Niall snorts hard. "No. Stop it or I'll tickle you until you fall from the sofa."

Liam clicks his tongue exactly like his mother does sometimes. "You just want the best spot for yourself."

Niall pushes his face into Liam's plaid shirt with a fond smile. "I already have the best spot."

The grip around Niall tightens and he's pretty sure he can hear a little dry sob coming from Liam.

"Shut up and watch, Nialler."

*

"Are you sure about this?" Niall is on Zayn's bed with his guitar in his lap, strumming along to a song in his head that had slowly taken form over the past few weeks. 

Zayn positions himself in front of Niall, dusting off his own guitar before he pulls it over his thigh. "I am."

He _does_ look very determined so Niall smiles, enjoying the happy, fluttery feeling in his stomach. It's been so long since they've played together and Niall remembers the look Zayn had given Taylor when she'd brought her own guitar. Like she was trying to take Zayn's place.

"Which song? Wonderwall?"

"Nah," Zayn says. "Remember Zombie by The Cranberries?"

"Ohhh, yes. Nice." He grins.

But when they start it sounds really awful. Zayn has completely lost his sense of rhythm and even misses a few beats, which in turn fucks up their singing. It's probably something they can work on and with a bit of practice they will sound like they used to. But the expression on Zayn's face is killing Niall, because he can _see_ that this is not what he wants.

"Hey, stop", Niall says firmly when Zayn's eyebrows knit together in anger. He's frustrated with himself. "Don't force yourself, Zee."

The old nickname seems to bring him back and he looks at Niall with slightly wet eyes. He opens his mouth to say something but he simply chokes on the words and can't get them out. He is like a pup again, like back then when he couldn't talk sometimes. It's probably the anxiety of explaining himself and the need to apologise for ditching the guitar lessons. He most likely feels like he let Niall down.

"Hey, Zee." Niall reaches out with his hand, offering it to him like shelter. Because Zayn will always be safe with his pack and Niall hopes he can still make him feel that way. "You don't have to say anything, okay? You never have to, but you can. I'll listen."

Zayn squeezes his eyes shut but still takes a hold of Niall's hand. He tugs a little at it, giving Niall the permission to come closer and he does. He lets his guitar slide onto the bed and tightens his grip on Zayn's hand, rubbing over the knuckles with his thumb. Meanwhile Zayn is taking deep, steady breaths the way he had learned it as a child. It takes a while before he calms down and Niall keeps watching him, looking for a sign of discomfort.

"I..." Zayn shakes his head and a deep growl builds up in his throat. He's still upset but squeezes back Niall's hand. "I just wanted it to be like back then. You and me playing stupid songs."

Niall smiles softly. "I know, but we're not that kind of people anymore. We grew up a little, didn't we?"

"And what can we do then? If we have nothing in common anymore?" He croaks. 

Zayne is hurt and angry but only with himself. He _always_ thought he needed to please all of them in order to be their friend. Niall doesn't believe that Zayn hates playing the guitar but it definitely isn't his favourite thing to do, it never was.

"Well, we'll just have to find something else. How about you show me your art? I saw a bit of it at Louis' place and what you can do is just amazing. Even this." He waves around the room. Every wall is covered in beautiful graffiti and Niall can't believe his mum had allowed it. Zayn is living alone with her now, in a flat only slightly bigger than the one Niall shares with his own mum. He and Zayn always end up in similar situations it seems. "You're so talented and I'm super proud of you. Who knows, maybe I'll pick up drawing, too."

Zayn stares at him and for a moment Niall is scared that he said something wrong. But then Zayn grins. "Please don't. Your stick figures always were awful."

Niall barks out a laugh. "True. Or you could teach me?"

"Hm. Maybe."

For the next few hours Zayn digs out his drawings from all the years Niall missed, pictures of that one time he won a new arts contest and old Polaroids of the pack covered in paint. Niall wishes he could've been there for that. Looks like they were smashing it. Zayn visibly eases after a while and rests his head against Niall's shoulder while he lets him flip through another sketch-pad. It's full of alien creatures and Niall has to smile.

"I like this one." He thumbs over something that looks like a humanoid shark. "I bet he could cheer me up."

Zayn snorts. "No, _you_ would cheer him up."

"Sure. I'll tell him one of Harry's horrible jokes."

"Come on, Ni... you love his jokes."

He does. He loves Harry's bad puns and his laugh and the fine nuances between all of his smiles. He loves him, full stop.

"Hey, Zayn? Let's do something illegal."

Zayn carefully straightens his back to look at Niall. "Like what?"

Niall grins because he knows Zayn's already in. "Grab your spray cans and I'll show you the biggest canvas you'll ever see."

The way Zayn's whole face lights up is everything.

*

"They never mentioned you, you know?"

Niall looks up from his phone. He is still smiling from a joke Harry has sent him and blinks at Taylor. She's sitting on his desk, dangling her long feet over the edge. She's wearing a gorgeous red dress that matches her lipstick and her hair is pulled back into a bun, showing off her delicate neck. No wonder she got someone like Harry, they are equally beautiful. When she puts on her leather jacket and her combat boots she just fits in perfectly in with the rest of the pack. Unlike Niall.

"What do you mean?" He asks and lowers his eyes back to his phone to type out an answer.

_This joke is awful, I'm calling the police._

"The boys, they never talked about you, never even mentioned your name. That's why I was so surprised to hear that they knew you back then. How long has it been? I've known them for a few years now." She frowns at him.

Niall shrugs. "Doesn't really matter how long, does it? I moved away and none of us ever thought I was coming back. So why mention it?"

But he is fairly certain that the reason they never talked about him is the same reason Niall had avoided the topic. It hurt too much and only reminded him of how much he missed them. But to tell Taylor that would make her feel left out in a way, so Niall settled for a different answer. He knows she is jealous, he can see it in the way she looks at him. So all he can do is make sure that there's no reason for her to be.

"I don't think that's really it, but I guess I shouldn't push it. It's _pack business_ , isn't it?"

Oh. Well, maybe she's not just jealous of him. Maybe she's angry that they don't let her join the pack, even though she has been dating Harry for a year now. God, Niall doesn't even want to think about all the things they did together. Harry surely took her on a date, several dates, and they've slept together and kissed for more hours than other people get sleep. Niall should be the jealous one. He _is_ the jealous one.

"Give him time," Niall tells her gently. 

Ultimately it's not just an Alpha's call to decide who joins the pack. They have to make the decision together, as a family. But no one would deny Harry his happiness, even though Niall feels like their pack is perfect the way it is. Maybe Niall needs some time as well. Time to accept that Harry is with someone else. Niall feels his phone vibrate under his fingers and quickly swipes over the screen to read the answer.

_The police? Good. I like being handcuffed._

Fuck, Harry really isn't making it easy for him.

*

"A what?" Niall rolls over in his bed, phone pressed against his ear.

" _A_ pack date _, so you have to come_." Liam sounds like he's in a hurry.

"Pack date," Niall echoes. That sounds amazing. "What do you wanna do?"

" _London Zoo. You haven't been there in ages, right?_ "

Niall sits up so fast he feels a little woozy. "Fuck yeah, I'm in!" Then he pauses, biting his lips. "Is, um, is Taylor coming?"

There's a small, irritated silence before Liam speaks again. " _No. She isn't, Niall._ "

" _Oh. That's sad_." This right there is why Niall will never win an Oscar.

He can hear Liam snort on the other end of the line. " _A real tragedy, I can tell._ "

After discussing the details Niall hangs up on Liam and crawls out of his bed. He had planned for a lazy Sunday but this is much better. He slips into his black skinny jeans and pulls on the red hoodie with the too long sleeves. It's obviously a little too big but Niall likes it that way and even though it's sunny outside there's a slight chill in the air. The only problem is his hair, it's always his hair, so he hides it under a black snapback. Looking into the mirror he just knows he doesn't fit in with his mates. Maybe he should think about changing his style.

But it wouldn't be him then, would it? 

So he just stays the way he is and then heads out to make his way over to Liam's place. He's the last one to get there and the car is as crammed as ever when he squeezes in between Harry and Zayn, a huge grin on his face.

"I haven't even checked the zoo's map, do they have something new?"

"You'll see. We'll give you the full tour, Nialler." Louis seems just as excited.

Harry is oddly quiet but has his arm around Niall to get more comfortable in the small space. He picks at the hoodie Niall is wearing and smiles.

"I like red," he says eventually.

"Do you now?" Niall raises an eyebrow at him. "You're never wearing it."

"It doesn't suit me. But it suits you."

 _Suits Taylor_ , Niall thinks. He owns quite a few tops and shirts in red but Taylor is wearing it nearly every day. They _are_ similar in appearance and... oh god, what if the only reason Harry would ever be interested in him is because Niall reminds him of Taylor? That is like... a complete nightmare. He doesn't want to be some kind of replacement that can't live up to the real thing. That is even worse than not being wanted at all.

"You alright?" Harry seems concerned.

"Yeah," Niall replies but his voice wavers a little as he keeps watching the street. He should stop thinking about it, it will only drag him down. Instead he will enjoy this day with his best friends, his pack. It's a strong bond, no matter who Harry decides to be with. "I'm fine," he says more firmly this time.

When they finally arrive the zoo is packed with families. It probably looks hilarious, having a band of misfits among all those well dressed people. Zayn is rocking his leather jacket once again while the rest is wearing tight shirts with faded band logos. Apparently Niall is the only one sensitive to colder temperatures. 

"What do you want to see first?" Liam asks when they reach the big map by the entrance.

"Hmmm..." Niall sticks out his tongue while tracing the map with his finger. He stops at the aquarium. "Let's go here!"

It's close to the entrance and they form a human chain to push past the families. When they were little it usually was Harry in the front and Niall in the back but this time Liam is taking the lead and Niall is holding on to Zayn's hand while dragging Harry after him. As soon as they're inside of the aquarium Louis breaks loose from the chain and runs off with a laugh.

"Louis, what the fuck!" Liam yells and rushes after him.

Zayn takes a look at Niall. "Um... I'm gonna help Liam."

Niall moves his mouth like a fish but then Zayn's gone, disappearing between a bunch of random people, and he is left behind with Harry.

"That was weird," he mutters and then looks at Niall. "Shall we then?"

He nods and together they pass by the huge tanks with colourful fishes that have Niall gape at them. He watches how easily they float in the water, so carefree and tranquil. Somehow they have the same calming effect on him as the stars and the moon. 

Niall doesn't even realise that he's still holding Harry's hand until he tries to point at something. But instead of letting go Harry tightens the grip and easily weaves their fingers together, giving Niall a sweet smile. Okay, Niall can deal with this. It's not like it's strange or anything. He's holding hands with Zayn all the fucking time. So why not enjoy this?

"I love this one," Niall breathes and points at the rainbow fish in the back with his free hand.

"Which one?" Harry frowns.

Niall rolls his eyes and carefully untangles their fingers so he can place one hand in Harry's curls (there's no headband today) and push their cheeks together. Then he points again, making sure Harry can see it. "That one."

Harry makes a soft sound, more like a hum of acknowledgement and when Niall pulls away he's smiling again. He's smiling so much and Niall really likes it. With a pleased grin he takes Harry's hand again and draws him along. The tank with the seahorses is next but they don't seem as friendly and quiet as the other fishes. Two of them are fighting and Niall grimaces.

"Looks like an ugly fight. I hope they don't die."

They chase each other through the water and the other seahorses try to get out of their way. Harry chuckles next to him.

"They're not fighting, I think. We do the same, don't we? Just some friendly tussle."

Niall rolls his eyes. "But we're not fishes. Wolves can be dangerous."

"I'm not," Harry claims. "I'm a pacifisht."

Niall snorts with laughter and tries to move away but Harry is pulling him in again by his hand, pouting.

"Don't laugh at me, Niall..."

Niall is still chuckling and presses a hand against Harry's chest. "I'm not laughing at _you_ , I'm laughing at your joke. Isn't that the point?"

The tension in Harry's face melts away. "Oh..."

"What? Thought I didn't believe you? You being a pacifist isn't really a lie. I know you've beaten up people but you're not enjoying it like me, you're more like Liam. You're doing it to protect others and that makes a huge difference, you know? Above all you're a lover, not a fighter."

Harry swallows and Niall can't help but watch his tongue that darts out afterwards to wet his lips. Harry even ignores the giggling couple that bumps into him. He only has eyes for Niall.

"You know me well, don't you?" He sounds oddly pleased.

Niall shrugs and drops his eyes to to their hands, suddenly feeling self-conscious about his own words. It's not like he actually knows Harry. Spending time with Zayn has taught him that people change and don't necessarily stay the same. But then again, Harry still seems the most familiar to Niall. He's still that rowdy boy who manipulated people into making them do whatever he wanted. It just never worked on Niall because Niall would've done everything for him anyway. And Niall knows that all he wants is for people to like him.

Who wouldn't like him? He is attentive and can get enthusiastic about everything. He is that kind of person who would drag you to the zoo on a Sunday because he knows you like zoos. He'll talk all your friends into skipping school to buy you pastries and cake at the bakery. Harry loves easily and will break bones to protect you. Niall always felt loved by Harry. Still does.

"Don't you?" Harry asks again but this time his voice is so close and when Niall lifts his head he is right in front of him.

Niall doesn't know what to say, can't even think with Harry's lips so close to his. He doesn't think he ever wanted to kiss someone so badly in his life. Harry's eyes are so dark, like everything else, except for the light that comes from the fish tanks. That's when Niall realises how dark it's actually is, how narrow the passage that leads through the aquarium has become. People are squeezing past them, lots of people actually and Niall's breath quickens. There's no air inside and Niall feels trapped. It's like a tomb, like a shack, and there's no door he can get through. People will stomp him to death.

"Niall?" Harry's voice sounds far away, like he's hearing it through cotton and Niall whimpers when the hand loosens around his. His palms must be really sweaty.

"I can't... I..." He feels the urge to cry, wants to throw himself against the wall and bang his head against it to fight his way out. All walls crumble eventually. But the scream gets stuck in his throat and he claws at his face instead, digging his nails into the soft skin. "Harry..."

It seems to make Harry realise what's happening because he pulls Niall into his arms with a gasp.

"It's okay, Niall, I got you."

He fits his face against Harry's chest and only has to slightly turn his head for his ear to press against the thin fabric of his black shirt. There it is, the steady heartbeat he has been looking for. It blocks out everything else, the voices of the people around him, the screaming in his own head. 

"Niall? Can you hold on to me?"

His arms are being lifted up and it takes a moment for Niall to catch up with what Harry wants from him. But then he feels skin under the tips of his fingers and soft hair. He carefully wraps his arms around Harry's neck and tries to take a deep breath. It smells like home.

"That's it, Ni. You trust me, right?"

Niall's breath falters but he nods against Harry's shirt. Then a pair of hands slides under his thighs to scoop him up carefully and his feet dangle about helplessly. He panics for a moment when he can't hear Harry's heartbeat anymore but the calming scent is still there, so he buries his nose into Harry's neck instead, squeezing his eyes shut.

He feels pathetic, having to be carried away like a child but he doesn't think his feet can carry him right now. So he clings to Harry and listens to his low voice telling him about an endless meadow and a blue sky so high he could drown in it. He claims there's a lake they could swim in and that its water is what Niall can hear rushing in his ears. Everything is endless and wide and Niall is just a small little star in the night sky. Harry sounds so convincing, so sure of his own words, Niall can't help but believe it. He sinks deeper into Harry, nerves and muscles unbending until it's much easier to breathe.

"Harry? What happened?"

Niall slowly lifts his head, blinking his eyes open and he's suddenly blinded by the light. They're not in the aquarium anymore and Harry slowly sets Niall down on his feet again. He stands a little wobbly at first but he feels much better already and smiles at a concerned Liam. Zayn and Louis are by his side and look a little guilty but Niall doesn't understand why.

"Just a little panic attack. I'm fine," he says then, looking back at Harry. "I'm fine now."

Harry still has his hands on Niall's waist, pressing his thumbs into it. "Okay." Then he steps away.

"Do you want to go home, Niall?" Zayn asks.

"No," he blurts out. "No, I wanna see everything. I just need a moment."

"Alright. I'll get you something to drink!" Louis disappears again and Liam groans in frustration.

"And I'll get you a snack," Zayn declares and takes off into the other direction.

Liam takes a deep breath. "I'll go split myself in half." Then he's gone too.

Niall can't help but chuckle at those three idiots and lets Harry lead him to a small bench where he can sit down. He wipes his face with the sleeve of his hoodie, getting rid of the cold sweat and then takes off his snapback. His hair probably looks even worse now but he doesn't care, he feels better this way. There is air, the sun and the sky. The only thing that isn't here is the meadow and the lake. Weird, it had sounded so real.

"You lied," Niall accuses him after a while.

Harry only gives a sheepish smile and combs his fingers through Niall's messy hair. "I did. I'm the best at lying and you know it."

"Yeah, but what did you get out of it?"

And Niall wants to take it back immediately because Harry's face grows so serious again, dangerously serious, actually. His eyes dilate ever so slightly and he moves closer, shifting the hand that was in Niall's hair into his neck with a strong and reassuring squeeze.

"Niall-"

"I'M BACK," Louis' voice booms and a cold can of coke is pressed against Niall's cheek.

He only jumps a little and then takes it from Louis with a grateful smile. A few seconds later Liam returns with an arm wrapped around Zayn's shoulder. He's carrying a tiny bag of crisps and Louis squints at him.

"Where did you get that? They don't have those at the kiosk and I didn't see you there anyway."

"Um," Zayn looks at Liam.

"We stole it," Liam says. "From a little boy."

"What?" Louis shrieks.

"He didn't need it, he had popcorn!"

"Still! You can't just steal from a kid, Li," he says incredulously.

Liam snorts. "You're one to talk."

"I don't steal from pups." Louis folds his arms over his chest. 

"Who are you, Robin Hood?"

Niall laughs at the display, especially when people start to turn their heads and frown at them. At least that is something that hasn't changed. Not even Zayn trying to get between them and make them stop by telling them that Niall is more important right now. Which instantly makes them fawn over Niall like worried parents who urge him to eat and drink until he starts to feel better. The whole time Harry's hand rubs constant circles into his back while everyone else makes sure he's okay.

"Sorry for the drama," he mumbles and takes another sip from his coke. "I should have known better than to go in there."

"Hey, stop it," Liam says softly and kneels down in front of him. "Maybe _we_ should've known better. But Harry got you out of there, yeah?"

"Yeah..." he turns to Harry with a smile. "Thank you, Haz."

"Anytime, Ni..."

As soon as Niall declares that he wants to move on they take his hands again to lead him through the zoo. Slowly this time. Still, Niall can't _wait_ to see the land of the lions, it's one of the more recent compounds that he hasn't seen yet. But after the gorilla kingdom and butterfly paradise they stand in front of a closed gate. 

"Closed due to flood damage," Zayn reads the sign.

"This sucks." Louis kicks the gate like it has has offended him.

"I wanted to see the lions," Niall wails.

"Should we go see the tigers instead?" Liam tries.

Niall has never pouted so hard in his life and presses his face against the yellow bars. "No."

This gate isn't very high, Niall realises. He could just climb over it and sneak inside. It would be even better because he doesn't have to push through a bunch of people and can have some peace and quiet with the lions. So that's what he does. He takes a quick look around and then starts to climb with his feet between the bars. He expects his pack to gasp or hold him back but they don't, not at all.

"Sick," Louis says and follows him quickly. "We're so gonna die but I'm in."

"Just a few minutes," Liam says before he jumps down from the top of the gate.

"You guys are the best." Niall beams at them. "I'll make it quick, I promise."

There's no one to stop them, no guard or supervisor, so Niall doesn't worry about being caught. They follow the path and it becomes really quiet after a while, no gawking or babbling families and Niall feels much more at ease. The only thing that would make him feel _really_ good would be to hold Harry's hand again. He could probably get away with it, since he had that nasty panic attack earlier. Surely Harry wouldn't question it or deny him that little bit of comfort. So when they pass the little stripe of buildings that seem to be based on Indian shops, Niall carefully slips his hand back into Harry's. He tries not to look at him, to make it seem natural and it's working. Harry doesn't even hesitate and his long soft fingers curl around Niall's. 

"I can see them," Zayn pipes up and points at the compound.

There's a high barrier to keep the lions inside and there are several of them lying in the sun. Niall is glad that they haven't been brought somewhere else. This flood damage only destroyed some of the setting, not the compound itself. 

"They are beautiful," Niall breathes and pulls Harry closer to it. There's a handrail keeping them away from the fence and he wishes they could go inside and pat the lions. Probably not a good idea but he's not known for his good ideas anyway.

"But they're just sleeping," Louis complains.

"They are sunbathing," Niall corrects him and watches one of the lions raise his head to watch them. It looks like he's determining whether it's worth it to get up and check out the situation. But then his head plops back onto someone else's back and he closes his eyes again.

Niall likes it, even more than watching the fishes. Even though it was really funny when Louis showed a magic trick to one of the gorillas earlier. He was so in awe that he fell over and Louis was very pleased with himself. But those lions, probably a pride, are very similar to a pack and the way they're huddled together is exactly how Niall and his mates sleep sometimes. It makes Niall believe even more that they're not so different from these animals. That their lives are just as precious as human lives. These zoos are pretty disgusting actually. They should live in the wild and not be jammed together in a small place so people can stare at them. Niall very much wants to just tear down this fence and let them run wild. That wouldn't solve anything though, he has to tackle that problem in a civilised way.

Niall sighs and feels Harry squeeze his fingers, like he's sensing his growing discomfort. He gives Harry a reassuring smile.

"Wait, where is Louis?" Liam suddenly asks. Everyone pauses and looks around but Louis is nowhere to be seen. "I'm gonna kill him."

"Liam, wait." Zayn grabs his arm but Liam doesn't stop, he's stomping off like a mad wolf and Zayn has no other choice but to follow him.

Niall squints after them suspiciously. Somehow Louis' constant disappearance feels a little staged. Like he's trying to set Niall and Harry up. He should probably appreciate it but it only makes things worse. 

"What's wrong with Louis today?" Harry seems extremely irritated and has not caught up with the situation yet. Poor, sweet Harry, he can be so oblivious sometimes and _fuck_ , that only makes Niall want him more.

"You know Louis. Sometimes he thinks he has a really good idea and no one can stop him."

"What kind of idea?" Harry looks at him.

Niall only shrugs in response and leans against the handrail, Harry's hand still in his. "I don't know. Louis is full of ideas. Did you know he was working on a comic?"

"Yeah, he showed me," Harry replies.

"He seems really serious about it, I hope it will work out for him. Him and Zayn and Liam. They seem to know what they want to do with their lives."

"Do you?" He sounds and looks genuinely curious.

It makes Niall turn his attention back to the lions. Niall wants to do a lot of things but it all comes back to the same root. He wants to help.

"Being an activist is not really a job, is it? But I'd like to go into politics, that's why I chose Law, psychology and media studies for my classes. I thought that would give me a good foundation for whatever comes next. I haven't completely decided yet. But Omega rights is a delicate subject and there's so much to be done, you know? I don't want younger generations to grow up the way I did. I want the stigma and prejudices to end so people can be with whomever they want. Did you know that an Omega is legally not allowed to marry another Omega? Even a Beta is tricky but if I formed a bond with another Omega they would force me to break it."

When Niall looks back at Harry he can see his shocked expression. "No, fuck, I didn't know that, but I should."

"You're an Alpha, you don't have to worry or care about stuff like that."

"But I _should_ ," Harry insists. "I know it sucks when Alphas only listen to other Alphas or Betas, but I would stand up for you."

Niall's gaze softens. "You already do. You always have. Ever since I came back you've treated me like your friend and pack mate, not like a fragile little Omega. It's okay if some want to be seen like that but you never just assumed that that's who I want to be."

"Of course I wouldn't treat you like that. I know you and you've always been strong." He lifts his free hand to stroke a finger along Niall's jawline. "Stronger than me anyway."

Niall can't help but grin. "Because I can throw you on your back?"

Harry's finger pauses under Niall's chin, warm and reassuring. "Not just that. You know what you want and you fight for it. I think what you want to do is amazing and I already know you'll achieve great things." Then he grins. "I'll vote for you."

He laughs and pushes Harry's hand away. "You better. Or I'll ban all puns and bad jokes."

Harry gasps. "That would be cruel."

"Maybe I _am_ cruel."

"No, you love my jokes!"

"I love _you_ ," Niall adds playfully and oh god, there's the regret again. Because Harry's mouth drops open and he turns completely red. Shit. "I mean, you're my pack mate," he explains.

Harry's mouth closes again. Well, this has become awkward, hasn't it? But he had to clarify it. He doesn't want Harry to give him the I'm-flattered-but-I'm-taken-speech. He knows, god he knows.

"So," Niall continues. "What do you wanna do after school?"

Harry blinks like he's a little thrown off by the question. "I'm not sure, maybe go to college first. My mum thinks it gives me better chances on the job market. I could even try to get into a company, my dad's friend has offered me something." Harry scratches at his cheek and Niall just knows that he feels uncomfortable. So Niall cuts him off right there.

"Harry, what do _you_ want to do?" The same question, more emphasis on the important bit, which is Harry. Niall takes his other hand as well, squeezing them tight in reassurance and support.

Harry smiles and shakes his head, but he still answers with a quiet, nervous voice. "I want to own a bakery."

And Niall... did not expect that. "A bakery? You can bake?"

Harry seems all shy now. "I guess I can but I'm not a pro. It's not even the baking I actually want to do. I just want to stand behind the counter, sell people delicious food and wish them a good day."

Fuck, Niall wants to laugh. But only because it's pure Harry. "That sounds amazing, Haz." He means it. 

"Or maybe something between a bakery and a bar? I just love open mic night at the pub and I could do that too. I still love to sing." 

"Bakery and a bar? I'm not sure that would work out."

"But think about it! You could do your speeches there or plan charity events and I'll sponsor all the food." He's all excited suddenly and Niall can't help but feel it too.

"Wow, that's... actually not a bad idea."

Harry's eyes begin to sparkle. "See? I'll even teach you how to lie properly. You know, for politics."

Niall mirrors the grin on Harry's face and just nods. Niall remembers him saying it, years ago, even though Harry had also claimed that all of them would become Alphas. But that doesn't even matter to him, he still sees Niall as the same person, still considers him an equal. For Harry it's just fundamental and that's why he understands Niall's need to fight for it. Niall wants to kiss him. Again. Fuck, he can't quite hold it back, he's already rising on the tips of his toes to reach Harry's stupidly attractive face.

Then they hear someone scream. 

Niall pulls back immediately and turns to where the noise is coming from. They can hear loud footsteps coming their way and suddenly Louis' head pops up with Liam and Zayn right behind him.

Louis' "run, motherfuckers!" is followed by a mad laugh and that's when Niall notices the security guard chasing them with a deep Alpha growl.

"Oh shit," Harry curses and takes off.

Niall lets go of his hand so he can be quicker and only a second later they're all dashing towards the gate. In retrospect he feels a little naïve, thinking that they would get away with this. But then again, the Alpha is much older than them and not as fast, so there's quite a big distance between them as they pull their bodies back over the bars. They all know though that their day at the zoo is over and they push through the masses of people to get to the exit as quickly as possible. Niall can't help but giggle at the adrenaline pumping through his body, making him feel jittery and bouncy. He has missed their little shenanigans and jumps onto Louis' back when they finally reach Liam's car.

"What did you do, Lou? That guard looked super furious."

Louis is completely out of breath but slides his hands under the hollows of Niall's knees to keep him upright. "It's not my fault, I tried to settle this peacefully. I even offered him a blow job!"

Niall's laugh echoes through the whole parking lot.

"Get inside, yeah?" Liam grunts and opens the car.

They scramble inside as quickly as possible, with Harry in the front this time and Niall just sprawls out over Louis' and Zayn's lap since he's in a hurry. The tyres all but screech when Liam drives off and thankfully no one saw them or followed them. They are dead lucky, as always.

"Fuck, that was so close." Zayn is shaking a little and Niall tries to get out of this uncomfortable position to seat himself between Zayn and Louis.

"Nialler," Louis hisses and pushes his knee away. "That's my dick you're rubbing there."

"What? Oh," Niall wheezes and finally gets into his seat properly. "Maybe it's about time someone touches it, Lou."

"Aw, Ni, all you have to do is ask."

Niall snorts and elbows him. "Don't wait for it."

"Fair enough... At least you had fun, yeah?" He smiles at Niall.

"I did. It was amazing, thank you all. Even though it got a little hectic there at the end."

"There's nothing wrong with a little exercise." Louis shrugs.

"Lou, I swear to god," Liam chimes in from the driver's seat. "I'm this close to punching you in the mouth with my mouth."

It's weird because on the one hand Liam looks really angry but on the other hand he sounds terribly aroused.

Niall doesn't know what to think of that but it makes Louis' grin spread even wider. "Later, babe."

"You're both idiots," Zayn says and shakes his head fondly.

"But we're not going home yet, are we?" Niall bites at his bottom lip. "Can we go to yours, Liam?"

"Can't get enough of us?" Liam's expression softens as he looks at Niall through the mirror.

"Never," Niall says and leans back, looking at Harry.

Harry looks back.

*

Niall is wrecked when he's back home and all he can do is take a shower before he falls into bed. He had an amazing day with his pack and he still feels exceptionally happy, even though he had a panic attack earlier that day. But it's okay, it's not as bad as it used to be when he was a kid and he managed it on his own for years. Still, it was much easier not to freak out with Harry with him. Not that he wouldn't have handled the situation without him. It was just nice. Everything was nice, except for Niall being consumed with lust and unable to act on it. That wasn't so nice.

It's just that all of his friends have changed and yet they're still the same and Niall can't help but love them. Louis has grown into a responsible person, even if it doesn't look like that sometimes. He cares about everyone and Niall wonders if it's something he has picked up from Liam. Liam, who finally has loosened up a little, maybe Louis has corrupted him in a way. They just harmonise and balance each other out, they always have. Then there is Zayn who has gathered much more self-esteem over the past few years and finally does what he really wants instead of letting other people pressure him into things _they_ think he should do. And Harry? He has grown from a lying little brat into a strong Alpha who doesn't just care about himself but everyone. What's not to admire about that? 

Niall flinches when there's a knock on his window. He has a strange déjà vu and indeed, when he rolls over there's Harry fucking Styles pressing his nose against the glass.

"Fuck my life," Niall mumbles and climbs out of bed, extremely aware that he's wearing nothing but his underwear and a loose shirt that barely covers his thighs. But then again, this is not school and Niall can wear whatever the fuck he wants. Sometimes he has to remind himself of that. It doesn't give anyone permission to do anything to him.

"Haz?" Niall whispers after opening the window. "What are you doing here?"

"You gonna let me in?"

He's crouching in front of the window on the fire escape and Niall wonders how he didn't hear him. Harry patiently waits for Niall to nod his approval before he climbs inside clumsily. Well, Harry has never been graceful and Niall giggles when he has to help him up.

"You know it's inappropriate for an Alpha to climb into an Omega's bedroom in the middle of the night, right?"

Harry raises an eyebrow and slowly unzips his leather jacket. Niall did not know he owned one and yeah, Zayn looked good in it but Harry? God, at least he's wearing something underneath. Niall doesn't think he would've survived a half naked Harry.

"Since when have you and I ever been appropriate, Niall?"

He has to grin at. "You got me there."

Harry drops his jacket on Niall's chair that is covered in clothes of his own and then rubs his hands together like he's feeling cold.

"So, can we...?" Harry's eyes flicker to Niall's bed.

"Oh, um, sure..." It's stupid and he should've said no because there's no way he can be good. There's no way he can keep his hands to himself with Harry in his bed. He may be strong but he is not that strong. He should tell him no. "Come on, then."

_Wow, good job, Niall._

Harry eagerly climbs into bed after him and curls up against his side with a satisfied sigh. Niall immediately gets his hand into the brown curls and rakes through them with his fingers.

"How did you even find me?" Niall wonders. "I haven't invited any of you over yet."

Not because he didn't want to, he was just a little embarrassed by the size of his bedroom. It's not really a place to invite people over to.

Harry huffs a little and rubs his nose against Niall's shoulder. "I followed your scent, that's all. I'd find you anywhere, Niall."

"Shut up, Hazza. There's no way you can make out my scent among everyone else's, London is _huge_."

Harry scowls then and lifts his head. "I've done it before. When you left for Ireland I came after you... I ran away and followed your smell. Unfortunately I didn't even leave London, the police picked me up and brought me back home. Mum and Dad were furious."

Niall feels like his heart is about to stop. Harry had tried to _follow_ him? Yeah that definitely helps Niall to get over him.

"You're ridiculous. Why didn't you tell me any of this on the phone back then?"

Harry sighs and shifts around. "Maybe I didn't want you to think I was pathetic."

"Awww, but you _are_ pathetic. I like you though. I remember the disgusting little boy you were and I liked you anyway."

"Oh really?" Harry grins and suddenly throws himself on top of Niall, trying to pinch his sides and tickle him.

Niall tries not to squeal because he doesn't want to wake his mother. She wouldn't be very pleased to find him in bed with an Alpha boy. And not just _any_ Alpha boy.

"Stop it, my mum", he whimpers and Harry stops but he doesn't move away. 

He seems to feel very comfortable between Niall's legs and slips down until he can rest his chin on Niall's chest. The duvet just pools around their feet and Niall should be freezing but Harry is such a warm weight on top of him and it feels incredibly good, he never wants to move again. He doesn't even know what to say, he just gets his hands back in that soft hair he always loved so much, enjoying how Harry's eyes fall close with a sigh.

He is gorgeous from head to toe and Niall wants to tell him that without coming off as Taylor's rival. He just wants to tell Harry how much he means to him and then move on with his own life. He doesn't want anything in return. That's not how love works anyway, it's not about demand. He just wants Harry to feel good, so he presses the pads of his fingers into Harry's scalp until he goes completely boneless. The weight on him increases and Niall resists the urge to wrap his legs around him, to press the heel of his foot into the small of his back and keep him there. Niall would make Harry feel so, so good. He would peel him out of his shirt and discover where the other tattoos lead, the ones he had seen the other day. That reminds him that he had wanted to ask about the scar on Harry's chest. Maybe now was the right moment for that.

"Hey, Haz?"

"Hm?" Harry presses his head harder against Niall's fingers.

"I saw a scar the other day. On your chest. Where did you get it?"

He expects Harry to tense up, to avoid the question completely but nothing like that happens. He just opens his eyes and looks at Niall, the darkness making them seem almost black.

"Heart surgery," he utters quietly. "Kind of."

"Heart surgery?" Niall knits his brows together in concern. "What happened?"

"Remember when I told you about my chest pain on the phone?"

"Of course..."

"It didn't go away. The doctor found a cyst that pressed down on an important artery. At first they just drew out the liquid but it built up again pretty soon after that. So he cut me open and took it out."

"Shit, Haz... are you okay?" Niall's fingers trail over Harry's temple and settle down on his cheek. 

"I'm fine," he mutters and slightly turns his head to nuzzle at the palm of Niall's hand. It's so endearing and yet sad how Harry presses into each touch, like he's starving for it. It pulls at Niall's heartstrings and he wants nothing more than to pull Harry into his arms and rock him until he feels better.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there, for any of it," he whispers.

"Stop apologising, I mean it." Harry cups Niall's hand with his own to press a firm kiss against his fingers. "It never was your fault. At least we had each other but you were completely on your own. We always worried about you. I've missed you so much, but you're here now. It's good. I'm fine, perfectly fine."

It feels nice to have Harry say it, to know that they've all missed him just as much as he did. Harry lifts his own hand to Niall's face then, brushing over the outline of his lips with his thumb. Niall shudders at the familiarity of the sensation, knowing that Harry will soon press against them to make him open up. And when the pressure comes he lets him in, carefully parting his lips so Harry can trace the upper row of his teeth. As a pup it was always calming him down and made him feel safe. Now that he's almost an adult it has quite the opposite effect. 

He feels naked and his blood is boiling with need, making it very hard not to move. And it's just Harry's finger in his mouth, this is ridiculous. Back then Harry was using his tongue and fuck, he definitely shouldn't think about that. Because now they aren't too young for that anymore, now they could just do it, it's not even meant to be sexual. It's just a gesture of devotion, it would just show that they care about each other, right?

Harry moves. He crawls up until his face hovers over Niall and he smiles knowingly, like he's been thinking about the same thing. Yeah, they can absolutely get away with this. So when Harry places both hands next to Niall's head on the pillow he can't really hold back. He stretches his neck until their foreheads collide and he can feel Harry's breath on his lips. He is so close, mouth already open to suck in shaky breaths. Then the tip of Harry's tongue darts out to lick over Niall's teeth. It's tentative and careful at first, Niall doesn't even dare to breathe, fearing he might scare him away. But it's good, so good and Harry presses in deeper, licking behind his teeth with a low purr in his throat. 

The sound sends Niall into a mild frenzy and he can't stop himself from shoving all of his fingers into Harry's hair to tug him closer. Harry's breath hitches, Niall can feel it and their lips are so close, almost touching. He knows that when this turns into a kiss they can definitely _not_ get away with it. But it's too hard to resist.

"Harry," he whispers and then pulls at the other boy's hair until their lips meet in a seething kiss.

Harry gasps into his mouth, if from surprise or something else Niall doesn't know but Harry doesn't pull back. He lowers himself onto his elbows until he's pressing Niall back into the sheets, with his lips and his whole body. _Fuck_ , that feels good. Harry kisses like he's been born to do it, or maybe he just knows exactly what Niall likes. The soft but firm pressure, the lazy tongue that meets Niall's halfway. He is content but at the same time he wants more, at least that's what his pounding heart is telling him. And he's not just someone who lies back and lets himself get ravished, he kisses back just as much, moving his lips against Harry's with a pleased hum. 

Niall twists his fingers in the brown curls, hoping to coax another gasp out of Harry. But what he gets is far worse. Harry _moans_ into the kiss, mouth almost going slack against Niall's with a heavy pant. It gives him goosebumps all over and he swallows hard before he kisses Harry again, a little rougher this time, until his lips are throbbing and Harry is a shivering mess above him.

"Niall," he breathes after tearing his mouth away but Niall doesn't let him, he pulls him right back in, sinking his teeth into Harry's bottom lip. There's a whine ripping from his throat and Harry squirms between his legs, gasping and panting and then there's the taste of copper on Niall's tongue. It's just a few drops of blood but it sets Niall's skin on fire, makes his soul sing of a red and golden light that could light up the night. He wants Harry, he wants him so much and that's exactly when he realises what he's doing here.

He is kissing Harry, he's holding him and Harry doesn't move away, he craves it just as much and when Niall pulls away to look at him, Harry is the one who crashes their lips together once more, chasing the taste of his own blood in Niall's mouth. God, he could kiss Harry for hours, he could survive on just kissing him. He doesn't need anything else.

"Fuck," Harry groans and then scrambles away until he sits on the back of his heels. Niall can't really see him but he's definitely blushing, his lips are wet and shiny and his hair completely ruffled up from Niall's tight grip. It only makes him want to pounce Harry again. "I... I should go. We have school tomorrow."

A grin steals itself on Niall's lips because Harry sounds so fucking wrecked and _he_ did that. Niall, not Taylor. Harry is with Taylor but right now Niall doesn't know how to care, doesn't _want_ to care. 

"Yeah, you should go," Niall says equally out of breath and sits up on his knees before he grabs Harry by the front of his shirt and pulls him back in. "You should absolutely go."

They kiss again. This time Harry grips Niall by the back of his neck and Niall twists his hands in the fabric of his shirt. They sway back and forth as they trade more heated kisses and Niall can't help but feel like they've done this before. Harry on his back, on his stomach, Niall biting along his spine. Perhaps he has dreamed about it and just can't remember. But he wants to remember this.

"I should go," Harry repeats against his lips and Niall nods. "See you tomorrow?"

"Okay..."

Harry carefully pushes himself out of the bed, eyes trained on the floor as if it's too dangerous to look back at Niall. But _he_ is still looking at Harry and yes, that's very dangerous. So when Harry reaches the window Niall hurries over and kisses him against the hard cold glass. He's on his tip toes this time, with one arm hooked around Harry's neck. They're so different and yet he feels like they fit together perfectly. He stretches his spine while Harry bends to kiss him back, tongue licking over his teeth one last time.

"Go," Niall sighs and steps away but this time it's Harry who draws him back in by his arm, pressing a surprisingly tender kiss to his lips that instantly kills the fire in Niall's body to replace it with something softer. It's so soft it almost makes his knees give way.

"Goodnight, Nialler," Harry murmurs with a smile and then finally forces his ridiculously long limbs out of the window.

"Goodnight, Hazza."

Then he closes the window. He feels like he's in a daze and wobbles back to his bed, scrubbing down his face with both hands to calm his feverish hot skin. Maybe that's it. Maybe this is just a fever dream and tomorrow there will be no sign left of Harry's presence here. No bruised lips, no unresolved arousal and definitely not Harry's intense scent in his pillow.

But when he's woken up by his alarm in the morning, it's with the smell of fresh earth in his nose, grounding him in a way nothing else can. He still feels hot and giddy and quickly reaches for his phone to kill the alarm with a swipe. He blinks at the screen when a notification of his calendar pops up, warning him about an event that is coming up in a few days.

"Fucking hell," he groans and accidentally drops his phone on his face.

No wonder Harry had found him so easily. Niall's about to go into fucking _heat_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now... don't you all feel... soft and squishy? Because I do *tries to wink and fails miserably*
> 
> anyway. I really hope you liked it <3 And thanks again to my muse and typo detector. I hope we found them all...


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took a while but this chapter is a long one again, so enjoy! <3

When Niall gets ready for school the next day, he notices that Harry's leather jacket is still draped over his chair, spreading the familiar scent in Niall's room. He carefully picks it up to check out the size and it's obviously too big for him but he tries it on anyway. It smells so much like Harry he subconsciously grabs the collar with both hands to press his nose into it. He breathes in deeply, thinks of Harry's lips, his skin, his hair... 

He would very much like to keep it on and go to school with it but he knows he can't. He hasn't even talked to Harry yet and bringing him his own clothes to school would just stoke the rumours. So instead Niall folds the jacket neatly together and places it under his big fluffy pillow, next to the bandana. No one has to know, right?

He's still giddy and chipper when he arrives at school and he can't quite sit still during his class. The teacher warns him more than once but it's even harder to concentrate. He's always like that a few days before his heat starts and what is the teacher going to do about it, send him home? They'll do that soon anyway, for his own safety of course. They can't have an Omega _provoke_ sexist behaviour of other Alphas. Wouldn't be fair to them. Niall huffs at his own thoughts and salty bitterness and tries to replace it with excitement instead. Lunch break is when he's going to meet up with his pack. 

He finds them by their usual table and this time he doesn't bother to get some food first, instead he wanders right over and squeezes himself between Liam and Louis. He would've liked to sit next to Harry but that spot is already taken by Taylor. At least Niall can be sure now that last night wasn't a dream. There's a little crack on Harry's lip that Niall had caused with his teeth just the other night. Also, Harry is desperately trying not to look at him. To be honest, it pisses him off a little. If their kiss had meant nothing, if it was just pack business, then Harry would act normal like nothing had happened. But he's avoiding Niall's eyes like the plague which means it _did_ mean something. Yet he's still with Taylor. He's probably regretting it, _fuck_. Niall is fuming with jealousy and rage and disappointment.

"Hey," he says eventually and they're all smiling at him as they greet him back. Everyone except for Harry. "What did I miss?" he asks and steals one of Liam's chips. Sweetheart that he is, he only shoves them closer to Niall.

"Louis wants to get a haircut," Zayn offers with a grin.

"Do you?" Niall turns to look at him. "What kind of haircut?"

"Don't know yet. Maybe I'll flip through a magazine and make someone say stop."

Niall giggles and gets his hand into Louis' hair, exploring the texture that feels quite interesting between his fingers. Shit, he's already getting really sensitive in case of touch. And scents. He can smell Harry radiate his Alpha pheromones at the other end of the table and he can smell Taylor's Omega hormones responding to him. She has her arm around his neck and smiles and laughs at something he mutters. She's perfect and obedient and submissive in her way of showing skin only to him. She bares her neck to him but all he does is plant a shy kiss to it before he looks back at his food, not at Niall.

"You'll look good anyway," Niall sighs and plants a sloppy kiss on Louis cheek.

The Beta blinks at him in surprise but then smiles. "You think so?"

"Yes," he says and wraps his arms around Louis to press his face into the boy's shoulder, breathing him in to distract himself from Harry's maddening scent.

"What got you all excited and clingy this morning?" Liam asks with amusement.

"I'm going into heat," he responds easily, never making a huge deal out of it. At least it shouldn't be and that's why Niall tries to handle it that way.

"Oh."

They all look surprised but not disgusted or ashamed. Well maybe Taylor looks a little bit uncomfortable. But then again, she's the perfect Omega stereotype, she's not hard to figure out. Which isn't a bad thing, Niall is just being a bitch right now because he's jealous and wants to bite her arm off. At least he knows better than to give in to that urge. He wouldn't be a good example as someone who fights for Omega Rights if he used his biology as an excuse.

The only good thing: Harry is finally looking at him. His eyes are dark and he's tonguing at the cut on his lip. Oh, maybe Harry isn't regretting last night, maybe he just _knew_ already that Niall was going into heat the moment he sat down at the table. Alphas have a much better nose than Betas or even Omegas. That's why he's not looking, he _wants_ Niall, doesn't he? But that doesn't change the fact that he has not broken up with Taylor.

"Will you be alone or will your mum be there to look after you?" Liam asks.

Niall shrugs. "She'll be working all day but she always prepares some food for me so I don't have to do it myself. It'll be fine, it's always fine."

"You shouldn't be alone." Harry gives him an irritated frown.

Niall frowns back. He knows what Harry is thinking. Technically even a bonded Alpha is allowed to take care of an Omega in his pack. Is he offering? Taylor is sitting _right next to him_ and looks just as confused.

"He is right." Niall can hear the concern in Liam's voice. "Just someone who makes sure you stay hydrated, you know? Someone should be there in case you need something."

Yeah sure, Niall could just request a knot whenever, couldn't he? He snorts to himself. But he supposes it would be nice to have someone there with him who distracts him from the constant need to fuck. It's not like an Omega _has_ to get themselves off, there is just nothing else to do. And almost impossible to resist when there's an Alpha in the same room. He remembers his mother telling him that a Beta is always a good choice for company. So... why not?

Niall smiles suddenly and rises from his seat to drape himself over Zayn's back. "Hey, want to hang out with me during my heat?"

Zayn makes a confused sound in the back of his throat and drops his sandwich. "What?"

"Come on, it'll be fun! You could bring a film or laugh at me while I succumb to my hormones that supposedly dictate my place in society." He presses his face into Zayn's hair and takes a deep breath. Not an Alpha's scent but still home. It would calm him down and make everything more bearable.

"Um, okay? Do you want me to be there the whole time?" Zayn turns his head to him.

"You don't have to. You could come around after school. It's just like you're taking care of me during the flu."

"You're not sick though," Louis clarifies. "Don't let them make you feel like it's something you have to hide."

Niall beams and blows him a kiss. He knows why he loves his pack. Also, Taylor is oddly relaxed now, giving him a weak smile while Harry's shoulders sink lower and lower. He looks like a kicked puppy. Well, what did he expect? That Niall would sneak him into his room while he's still with Taylor? Harry could break it off, he _should_. But he doesn't do anything, so _Niall_ can do whatever the fuck he wants. He sits back down, next to Zayn this time and that's when he notices the table of jocks that is purely made of Alphas. They are blatantly goggling at him, checking him out like he's a piece of meat. Niall is wearing one of his tank tops again with an even more revealing back than usual and maybe that's also a bit of defiance. He just _dares_ them to say or do something. _Just give me an excuse to fuck you up_.

The others notice as well.

"Disgusting," Louis mutters. "Why must they be like that?"

"They are just typical jocks," Liam huffs, "and since they're Alphas they think the world and everything belongs to them."

"Shouldn't you do something?" Taylor looks more uncomfortable than Niall, even though the glances aren't directed at her. Still, she presses harder against her 'boyfriend'.

"What?" Harry blinks at her. "What do you want me to do?"

"I don't know, Niall is your _pack mate_ , isn't he?" The way she always pronounces the word 'pack' kind of leaves a bitter taste in Niall's mouth. It doesn't sound disgusted or anything but like she doesn't understand the true meaning of it. "You should make sure they know that he doesn't belong to them. Talk to them."

No, Taylor really doesn't get it. Maybe that's what _she_ wants from Harry but not Niall. Harry frowns hard at Taylor, like he's offended.

"Absolutely not. I won't patronise him like that. Besides, Niall is perfectly capable of defending himself."

The warm fluttery sensation from yesterday returns with a violent jolt and sets the pit of Niall's stomach on fire. It takes all of his self-control not to jump over the table and pounce on Harry because god, how can he be so perfect? Well, he obviously isn't but for now Niall forgives him for still being with Taylor. Niall just wants to grind into Harry's lap right here and show those Alpha pricks at the other table that this is the Alpha he chose. They can stare all they want but they'll never get him because he'd give all of himself to Harry, knowing that he'll treat Niall with the respect he deserves.

He hopes none of that shows on his face but he swallows hard when Harry's eyes flicker from Taylor to Niall, giving him a reassuring smile. This is so unfair. Why does love have to be so hard?

"Alright," Taylor says and follows Harry's gaze. "Whatever you say."

Niall is grinning now and he still wants to kiss Harry, wants to sink his teeth back into his lips and break the skin open so he can taste him once more. He's a good Alpha and Niall wants to whisper it into his skin.

"Hey." Someone suddenly halts next to their table. It's one of the Alphas who has stared at Niall. He's big and muscled with short black hair and a confident smile. "Wanna fuck?"

Well, he's not subtle, is he? Alphas are always praised for being straightforward and saying what they think but when Niall does it he's being too crass? Even if Niall was a bit more obedient and submissive he wouldn't take up that Alpha's offer. They don't match, they're not compatible, his scent stings in Niall's nose like burned rubber. But he'll try to get the most fun out of it.

"Won't you at least tell me your name first?" Niall asks and throws one leg over the bench so he's straddling it.

"Travis," the Alpha says. He doesn't even ask for a name in return. He probably doesn't care.

Niall stares at him. "Seriously? Your name is Travis?"

"Yeah, why?"

Niall grins and licks his lips. "Oh, you're just what I've been looking for."

The Alpha, in his sheer arrogance, thinks Niall is actually interested. "Oh yeah? Want my knot? I knew you were a bitch about to go in heat, I could smell it."

Niall snorts with laughter and carefully removes his snapback from his head. He throws it at Harry, who catches it easily, eyes already sparkling because he knows what Niall is about to do.

"Hold on to that for me, will you?"

Harry smirks. "Understood."

"Good boy." 

Then he practically launches himself at Travis, tackling him down so he can punch him in the face. It feels good.

(He doesn't see Harry's aroused look, doesn't know how much Harry wants to push Taylor away, how hard he has to squeeze down on his crotch as he watches Niall punching the shit out of the Alpha because fuck, it makes him hard. He doesn't even notice how Harry scents his snapback when no one is looking. There's the phantom taste of Niall on his tongue that he craves and longs for. If only he was strong enough to pursue.)

*

Mr. Cowell considers Niall with a stern look over his folded hands. "Mr. Horan."

Niall sniffs and presses the paper tissue harder against his still bleeding nose. He can tell that it's not broken but it still hurts like hell. "Yes?"

"What am I going to do with you? That's the second time you attacked a student."

"He insulted me, just because I'm going into heat," Niall scoffs.

"I thought we already established that violence is not an appropriate answer to that? You could've asked a teacher for support."

"And what would they've done?"

Mr. Cowell sighs and takes a pen to write something down. "They would've talked to the student to make sure it won't happen again."

"Because Alphas are so good at listening."

"Mr. Horan," he warns. "This is your last chance. One more time and you'll be expelled."

Okay. That's serious. Niall swallows and nods obediently. "Yes, Mr. Cowell."

*

He leaves school early on Wednesday when he's starting to burn up and his smell increases. The Alpha boys and girls are already looking at him and the teachers would soon tell him to go home anyway. He shoots his mum a quick text that he's heading back and that Zayn will come around after school. At first she wasn't very pleased but when he told her that Zayn is a Beta she calmed down. A Beta is no threat to her little pup. Sometimes Niall wonders if he'll ever be a grown-up to her. Not that he is of age yet, but soon enough.

She feels very reluctant to leave him the next morning but he is _fine_ and Zayn will be here soon anyway. Niall spends the time in bed, wearing nothing but his top and his shorts because he's already feeling too warm. He's blasting music into his ears to distract himself but it soon starts to annoy him and he can't really concentrate on reading a book. On top of that his duvet starts to feel scratchy on his skin and he pushes it down with his legs, pressing his face deeper into his pillow. He stays like that for the next few hours, dozing in the sun until he hears the doorbell ring.

Zayn is loaded with food and gives him the biggest smile so Niall loves him already.

"I love you," he sighs and hugs Zayn tightly. He gets a firm hug in return and a very nice back rub.

"Love you too, Nialler. So what are we gonna do, are you hungry?"

"What kind of question is that?" Niall says while peeking into the plastic bag Zayn brought along.

"Yeah, just go back to bed, okay? I bought lots of vegetables and potatoes because google said they're very nutritious and help you stay strong during a heat."

Niall is about to tear up and tries to hide it with a mock gasp and a hand on his chest. "You googled for me?"

Zayn rolls his eyes and bumps Niall's shoulder. "Yeah, I googled for you."

"That's the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me," he sobs dramatically.

Zayn snorts. "Come on, back to bed. I'll make you some tea so you don't have to drink water all the time. And then we'll watch a Disney film."

"You're my favourite pack mate."

"Don't let Harry hear that."

"Well, Harry can go sit on a tack."

Zayn laughs. Zayn is great and Niall loves him. He's really good at looking after him and even though Niall feels like he wants to get off he doesn't. This is much better and after he's eaten he cuddles up to Zayn on his bed so they can watch The Lion King 2 on his laptop. Niall is glad that he has already watched it a thousand times before because his ability to concentrate doesn't really improve, quite the contrary. Only thirty minutes later his thoughts begin to drift off to a certain Alpha that isn't here, even though Niall wants him to be. His skin is itching and there's a slight wetness between his legs already. Great. He pushes his face into Zayn's shoulder, breathing in the calming scent of _pack_.

"You alright?" Zayn sneaks an arm around Niall and squeezes his waist.

"Yeah, it's just annoying. You seriously don't smell anything?"

"I'm a Beta. I can smell stuff, just not as good as you or Harry. And I don't get influenced by pheromones."

"Must be so nice," Niall sighs and closes his eyes.

"Oi, don't fall asleep on me," Zayn chuckles and nudges him. "The best song is coming up soon."

Niall's head perks up again. "Oh, is he going to get banished? 'Not one of us' is such a good song."

"I know!"

Niall stays awake for the rest of the film but promptly falls asleep during the the credits, only waking up when Zayn tries to make him drink and eat again. He's a little less cooperative this time but Zayn doesn't leave him a choice. Soon after that his mother comes home from work and he can hear her and Zayn talking for a while before he comes back to say goodbye.

"Hey, Niall?" Zayn's fingers comb through Niall's damp hair. "I have no classes tomorrow, the teacher is sick. Do you want me to come by in the morning? I'll bring breakfast." 

Niall nods and nestles up against the hand. He's longing to be touched and the familiarity of Zayn is close enough to what he actually wants.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Niall."

Then he's just gone and Niall's mother brings him another water bottle that he just pushes away with a frustrated grunt.

"Niall," his mother chides him. "I know it's not easy but you must drink."

He shakes his head and keeps squirming. "Wan' Haz..."

She sighs deeply. "You told me he is bonded to a girl."

Niall is surprised at how deep he can growl. "Not bonded. Not yet."

"Try to sleep, pup. I gave Zayn your key so I he can let himself in tomorrow."

"'kay..."

He does sleep but not well. He wakes up in the middle of the night with his heat on its peak and he _has_ to get off, at least once. He fumbles for one of his toys after pushing down his underwear that is completely soaked anyway. It's not as satisfying as it has been before. Before he met his pack again he had been content with with being alone, with using nothing but toys. After Travis and Claire he hadn't really felt the need for a relationship anyway. It was fine. But then fucking Harry Styles had to crawl back into his life and his heart, huh? 

Niall wants him, wants his knot and he suddenly hates the feeling of plastic inside of him so he pulls the toy out and flings it away. He pushes his fingers inside instead, as many as possible. Harry would've felt so much better but he's with Taylor, right now probably. Did he climb through her window too?

The worst thing is that every time he checks his phone Harry has sent him another message.

_Stay hydrated and eat some kale. x_

_Hope you're alright. x_

_I hope Zayn treats you well. x_

The last one comes in around eight o'clock in the morning after Niall took a really long shower, trying to kill off some of the heat.

_I'll miss you at school today... x_

He hadn't answered the other messages but he answers this one, he can't really help it.

_I miss you always_

Then he shoves his phone into the drawer of his bedside table and turns over in his bed, only wearing his boxer shorts this time because they're not too tight and he's already heating up again. He falls asleep for another hour or so and when he wakes up there's a napping Zayn right next to him in bed, with an arm folded behind his head and the other resting on his stomach. He's fully clothed except for his shoes, wearing some black jeans with a batman shirt.

He is pretty, attractive even. He's easily the most handsome of the pack but Niall never really was interested in him. Not because he's a Beta, it's because they're brothers and Niall feels so protective over him, the same way Zayn feels about him probably. With a soft sigh Niall shifts around so he can rub his face against his mate's shoulder and weave their fingers together. Zayn doesn't exactly smell compatible or arousing but he smells like pack, like home and when Niall concentrates hard enough he can sense all of them on Zayn's shirt. 

Packs tend to smell like each other after a while and now Niall can distinguish the little nuances even better, the hint of Louis and Liam under the smell of honey and when he takes a deeper breath... yeah, there it is. Harry's earthy scent. It makes Niall's stomach lurch with want and he can't help but moan. The noise stirs Zayn in his sleep and Niall lets his nose trail over the Beta's neck and the stubble of his cheeks.

"Zayn." It's nothing but a needy whimper. 

"Ni?" Zayn blinks and removes his arm from behind his head to rub at his eyes. "Everything alright?"

"No," Niall whispers and presses his open mouth against Zayn's ear, panting slightly. "I want you."

"What?" Zayn recoils a little, staring at him with wide eyes.

"Please?" Niall licks his lips. "It's so bad this time and it feels awful because... " Because he wants Harry. "I need someone. I trust you, Zayn."

"Niall..." He looks conflicted. "I can't, I-"

" _Please_ ," Niall says a little more firmly this time, crawling half on top of Zayn now with the best puppy eyes he can muster. "Just a little. It stays in the pack, yeah? No obligations, I promise."

He can see Zayn's throat work as he swallows hard. There's a glint in his eyes that Niall would describe as mutual want but he's so hesitant, squeezing Niall's hand that is still in his.

"I'm not sure this is a good idea..." Zayn trails off with a lick over his lips.

"I won't force you, but it hurts so much and I... I can't use my toys this time, it doesn't work." He shifts closer again, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of Zayn's mouth. "I love you, Zee, so much. You're my pack mate, you don't have to be scared. I just feel so hot..."

"Fuck." Then suddenly Niall finds himself on his back with Zayn on top of him, breathing heavily. "Okay."

Zayn doesn't kiss him on the lips. He kisses him everywhere else, his neck, his jaw his chest but not on the lips. Niall is oddly fine with that and enjoys the scratchiness of Zayn's mouth on his sensitive skin. He has been craving to be touched since yesterday and Zayn's hands feel good on his aching body. He needs it, needs someone...

"Zee," he gasps with both hands in Zayn's hair, tugging at it lightly. He doesn't seem to be into that, he winces slightly but still looks up at Niall. "Fuck me, yeah? I don't need some long arse foreplay."

"God, Niall." 

He can feel Zayn grind against his leg and he's getting hard from this, which is nice to know, that Zayn wants him in a way, even though he is not influenced by his pheromones whatsoever. That was the only thing Niall had liked about Travis actually. That he wanted him not because he is an Omega. But it still didn't end well between them. Humans just suck sometimes, whatever the gender.

"Come on." Niall pushes down his boxers halfway and Zayn quickly takes over to get them off and throw them beside the bed. 

He spreads his legs and Zayn easily kneels between them while fumbling with his belt. There's something sexy about it, how he moves his hands, gracefully and yet with force, the same way he draws his pictures. He's gazing at Niall while he does it, not blinking once and yeah, Niall can definitely see the arousal in his eyes. Zayn doesn't even wait any longer, he just slides back between Niall's thighs, barely shoving his jeans down to his knees before he takes himself in hand and pushes in.

Niall moans. He's so wet and open from the heat that Zayn bottoms out without resistance, hissing between his teeth.

"Fuck, you're so–"

"Zayn," Niall whines and wraps his legs around the Beta's waist. "Shut up and fuck me."

Zayn only chuckles at that, taking a deep breath before he starts to pull out and thrust right back in. He's big enough to make Niall feel full and it's amazing, he feels like he's in good hands, not just because it's _someone_. It's Zayn and Zayn cares for him. He pushes in deep, groaning against Niall's neck while Niall claws at the back of his shirt, urging him on with his legs and words. Niall never knows how to shut up and certainly not during sex. But Zayn looks like he likes it, he jerks his hips hard every time Niall's filthy words fill his ear. It makes Niall moan high in the back of his throat when Zayn fucks him faster, deeper. It's not really enough though, Niall is in heat, he's sweating and quivering and the need to be mounted overwhelms him. He needs a different angle, needs the right position to be knotted.

"Zee," he breathes and pushes at his shoulders.

Zayn's thrusts falter and he pushes himself up a little to look Niall in the eye, hand coming up to cup his cheek. "You alright?"

Niall nods with hooded eyes, mouth hanging open to suck in the air. "Just... need to turn around."

Zayn makes a noise of recognition before he pulls out, causing them both to whine. As quickly as possible Niall turns on his stomach, lifting his bottom ever so slightly because instinct is a bitch and this bitch _is_ in heat. It makes him succumb to a social norm that he hates and sometimes he hates himself. Society sucks for fetishising him like that and making him feel inferior for it at the same time. Fuck, is he really thinking about Omega Rights right now? Now that he's going to get his brains fucked out by Zayn? More good stuff for dirty talk.

"Come here, I don't want you to get uncomfortable," Zayn pants and slips the pillow from under Niall's face to push it under his hips.

That's when he remembers what exactly he is still hiding under his pillow. He hears Zayn making noises behind him but Niall is already grabbing for his things with both hands, pressing his face into the jacket and the bandana, trying to hide them under his body. He's embarrassed, so embarrassed. He has been nesting, hasn't he? Fuck, he wants Harry so much it's eating him alive. And now that Harry's strong smell is filling his nose again he's only getting more slick. He groans, moving his legs against the sheets like he's trying to crawl away.

"Oh Niall," Zayn whispers and lets his hands slip over Niall's legs, thumbs pressing into the insides of his thighs to push them apart. He's rubbing over the moist skin for a second and then his touch is gone, followed by the sound of wet suction and a soft hum. Shit, Zayn is tasting him. "Is that why you're burning up like a wildfire?"

He's pushing back in, a little rougher this time and with his hands in Niall's hair. Yeah, he's not a fan of that either unless he's doing it to someone else. Maybe he and Zayn are a little too much alike. But at the same time that's probably why they have such a good understanding of each other. In another universe they might've been brothers, chasing the sun like in one of Louis' comics.

"You want him that much?" Zayn purrs into his neck, rolling his hips painfully slowly. "We always see how you look at him, it's so obvious. He's so stupid, how can he miss out on _this?_ " A sharp thrust has Niall curl his toes and forces a jagged breath out of him. "You want him, I can't blame you. Does he smell good to you?" Niall nods furiously into the jacket. "Do you wish he was here right now? Fucking you raw until he knots you?"

Niall groans, clawing at the sheets and Harry's stuff. Yes, he wants that. He wants to have Harry, right now and forever, fuck everything else. He pushes back on Zayn's cock until it hurts, the heat becoming almost unbearable. 

"You can tell me," he croaks into Niall's neck and hits him in an angle that makes his skin tingle. "Tell me how much you want him."

"I..." Niall squeezes his eyes shut, unable to escape the sensation, the want, the yearning. Harry's smell is everywhere and if he concentrates hard enough he can imagine that it's Harry fucking him, not Zayn. "I want him so much. Want to kiss him, bite him, lick him all over."

"Yeah? Why do you wanna do that?" Sweet, shy Zayn is long gone, Niall realises. He can _speak_ , he can make himself sound like an Alpha if he wants to. It's not the same, never the same, there's no underlying rumble like that of a storm. But it's close enough, for now.

"He's mine," Niall whimpers, shifting his head to the side so Zayn can hear him better and not just through the fabric. "He's mine, Zee. Want him to claim me, want to claim _him_. He's so beautiful, so good. I want him to myself." He can't stop babbling about it, can't stop the words that tumble from his mouth like a declaration of war. He'll do anything to get Harry. He has to. Harry belongs to him, not to Taylor.

"Yes, I know. I know... He'll be yours, I promise." Zayn's thrust become uncoordinated, with more force but less steady.

Niall whines. "Shut up."

"I won't," Zayn chuckles and bites softly at Niall's shoulder. "I'd like to see it. See him knot you. Bet it feels good to be stuffed like that. I wouldn't know but I'd like to know. What does it feel like, hm?"

"So... so full." God, he hasn't seen Harry naked but his jeans are fucking tight so he knows what's in there. He could easily split Niall open. "stretched until you can't breathe. And... fuck... when he fills you up, you can feel it." He blindly grabs for Zayn's hand, getting a hold of it before he pushes it into the small space between his stomach and the pillow. "Here."

Zayn groans loudly, suddenly pulling out and a moment later Niall feels something wet on the small of his back. There's another choked moan followed by a satisfied sigh and fuck, Zayn just came all over him and that is kind of hot. But he is empty now and he can't take it, this is wrong, he needs a knot and he needs it now.

"Zee," he gasps.

"Yeah, sorry." Zayn's voice sounds out of breath and so totally wrecked, Niall shivers all over.

Zayn gently rolls him onto his back again, not caring about the mess. Niall will have to change the sheets anyway. He drags Harry's jacket with him so he can keep pressing his nose into it. It's ridiculous, how they _both_ got off on thinking about Harry, in a way. That's why he doesn't feel guilty for muttering the Alpha's name under his breath.

"Tell me when it's enough," Zayn says then, pushing one finger after another into Niall's greedy hole. He shoves them deep inside, past the first and then the second knuckle, giving Niall time to figure this out. It doesn't feel like a knot but it's still good and Niall comes hard, with the thought of Harry clouding his brain and the musky scent filling Niall's nose. He squirms and moans sweetly, pushing against Zayn's hand.

"There," he sighs and slumps back into the sheets when his body finally stops hurting, accepting Zayn like it wouldn't have with a knot. "Thankyouzee," he slurs.

"You're welcome, Ni." Zayn voice is back to its softness again and he tries not to move his hand too much as he lies down next to Niall. "Anything for you, yeah?"

"Yeah, okay," Niall breathes and takes a proper look at Zayn. 

There's a thin sheen of sweat covering his face, his hair is a mess, loose strands sticking to his skin, making him look even more handsome. His eyes are regarding Niall with such fondness he wants to cry. He actually does cry when his head catches up with the last few moments, remembering what he said and thought. 

"I want him," he repeats and then there's a sob ripping from his throat as tears run down his cheeks. "I want him so much but I can't have him, Zee. God, it fucking hurts."

"Shhh." Zayn's unoccupied hand moves into Niall's hair, brushing it back. "Don't cry. I know you love him. He loves you, too."

"He doesn't. He doesn't, he's still with her, even after we kissed."

"You kissed?" Zayn looks at him with wide eyes. 

"God, that isn't the pillow talk you wanna hear."

"Tell me," Zayn urges him. "It's okay, it's important to you."

Niall sniffs and rubs his tears away "I... after the zoo. That night. He came through my window. Nothing special. He did that when we were little and we cuddled all the time. But we're not pups anymore so we kissed. And then on Monday he just... he's still with her. He didn't even look at me."

"I'm so sorry, Niall." Zayn presses a firm kiss to his forehead, his cheekbone. "I think it's our fault. It's definitely our fault."

"Why?" Niall tries to blink away the confusion. It's not working.

"Taylor came to our school like, two years ago. She was running after Harry like a puppy but Harry wasn't interested. She did that for a whole year and then the boys moved on to year twelve so I was stuck with her alone. But, you know... we talked him into giving her a chance. He wasn't happy, Niall, and we wanted to see him happy. Or at least close to it, if he can't have what he actually wants."

"What?" Niall grips the jacket tighter. "What do you mean?"

"Don't act like you don't know it. You telling me you've never thought about Harry in the past seven years? That you didn't compare him to your boyfriend and girlfriend?"

"'course I did," he mumbles and averts his eyes.

"He waited for you. He always believed you were coming back and he never wanted someone else. But he got so bitter, you see? He was starting to lose hope. So we said he should give it a try with Taylor. They started to date and he liked her and he wanted to move on with her. It's been a year since then."

Niall feels a lump form in his throat. "Oh..."

"I think he's scared and a coward but don't doubt that he doesn't want you, yeah? That stupid boy wants you, like... so badly. Louis actually likes the drama. There's an Alpha/Omega soap opera on this Korean channel and he always makes Liam and me watch it with him. He doesn't understand a thing but he's so hooked. Sometimes he and Liam make up the dialogues, it's really funny."

Niall can't help but smile at that. Of course, that's just Louis. And Liam. He can't even blame Harry, of course he should've moved on. No one knew whether Niall would ever come back so it's only natural. But it still hurts because how can Harry doubt them? Now?

"If he doesn't believe it can work out between us, then he should say so," Niall mumbles bitterly.

"I don't think that's it," Zayn objects. "I think he's just reluctant to leave Taylor. He doesn't like hurting people unless it's a well thrown punch."

Niall snorts. "He doesn't even like _that_ so much."

"True. He rather tells us to punch other people. He's such an Alpha sometimes, isn't he?"

"Yeah." Niall frowns. "I guess?"

Zayn smirks at him knowingly. "He's different with you, isn't he?" Niall nods. "He's always been different with you. All soft and needy. I haven't seen him like that in years and it's nice. You're good for him."

Niall sniffles miserably, a few new tears welling up in his eyes. "Then why isn't he with me? He should be with me."

"Tell him that."

"I can't!"

"Why?!"

"Because... I don't want to pressure him into it. _He_ has to choose and he has to be strong enough to make that fucking choice."

"You're both idiots," Zayn sighs and pulls his hand out of Niall without a warning.

Niall whines. "God, I hate you."

"No, you love me."

*

A few hours later Niall feels hot all over again but Zayn is too exhausted to go another round. Luckily, he's an artist with incredibly talented hands that have Niall's brain and body go nuts. Zayn definitely knows what he's doing. He fucks Niall one last time before his mother comes home from work and this time Niall shares Harry's scent with Zayn, pushing the bandana against Zayn's nose while he rides him hard. His brain is still muddled with heat pheromones but he's kind of relieved that Zayn is here, that he's not judging him. Niall really hopes it won't become awkward when they see each other at school again. 

"Everything's fine, I promise," Zayn says when Niall brings up his concern. They're by the door and Zayn gives him a warm hug. "Your heat broke, yeah?"

"Not completely," Niall mutters into Zayn's shoulder and rubs his nose against it. "But soon. It's fine. I'll probably sleep through the weekend so we'll see each other on Monday."

"Okay." Zayn pulls away with a small smile. "See you, Ni."

"See you, Zee."

When Niall crawls back into his back he remembers his phone and his last text to Harry. _I miss you always_. He carefully picks it out of the drawer and yes, there's another message waiting for him. He nervously swipes over the screen and reads Harry's text.

_God... me too..._

Niall presses the screen to his chest and tries not to cry.

*

Niall is glad he spent the weekend alone. His pack texted him a few times to make sure he's alright but other than that he did nothing, just lazing about and sleeping off the heat. He had needed that. So he is all fresh and well rested when he arrives at school on Monday. He even took effort to get his hair in shape instead of hiding it under a snapback. He's wearing a thin red jacket over his top and leans back in his chair when his phone buzzes in his jeans. He pulls it out with a smile.

_We're having lunch behind the school today. That big old tree!_

There are lots of big old trees behind the school and Niall wonders if that's just Louis fucking with him again. But luckily he can already see them when he arrives a little later since the teacher wanted to speak with him. Heats always make him miss a lot of classes. He'll have to catch up with everything during the week. It will be quite stressful.

"Hey," he smiles and slumps into the circle between Harry and Zayn. They aren't eating though. Zayn doesn't even look at him and picks at the grass instead while Liam and Louis seem to be very uncomfortable. Harry just didn't sleep a lot, judging by the circles under his eyes. "Everything alright?" He asks carefully.

"Um, yeah," Liam starts and shifts around. "Just... fuck, I don't know how to start."

Harry rolls his eyes. "Just tell him."

"Yeah, but..." Liam doesn't look like he wants to. Niall is confused.

"Look," Harry takes over and turns to Niall. It's one of the rare times his Alpha nature comes through, taking lead of the pack, the way it's supposed to be. "Did you sleep with Zayn?"

"Oh..." Niall blinks. He hadn't meant to make a secret out of it but now that everyone looks so upset... maybe he should have. "Yes? I mean-"

"He's taken," Harry clarifies.

"Wait what?" Niall twists around to look at Zayn. He's lifting his eyes reluctantly and gives him a guilty smile.

"He's with us," Louis chimes in. "Like, with Liam and me. Um, the three of us have been together for a while now."

" _Holy shit_." Niall's gaze immediately goes to their necks but of course there's nothing to see, no bonding marks. They're Betas, they don't work like that, they just marry. He had kind of figured that Louis and Liam were interested in each other but all three of them? He hadn't seen that coming. They are all so affectionate with each other, how could he have known? Zayn always is so quiet about stuff like this. (But not very quiet in bed. Fuck, is that how he is with Louis and Liam? Niall is strangely intrigued.) "Why wasn't that the first thing you told me when I came back?"

"We didn't know how to tell you," Liam admits, "didn't know how you'd react, so we wanted to wait a little bit."

"A little bit... Jesus Christ, Liam. I've been back for _weeks_."

"I'm sorry. It's not been easy, you know? Three lads being together is just as odd as two Omegas. People are judging us."

"So you didn't trust me." Niall tries not to sound hurt but he fails miserably. It stings in his chest and he swallows down the tears. 

"We're sorry." Louis looks gutted. "Of course we trust you but we were still worried. It was stupid."

"Yeah it was," Niall says and rubs his sleeve over his nose. "Because honestly, I'm... I'm so happy for you? Fuck, there's no one better I could wish for either of you. You're my pack and I love you and I'm happy you love each other. God, I feel really dirty now for what I did." Harry makes an alarmed noise, like he wants to object but Niall keeps talking. "Shit Zayn, why did you say yes to me?"

Zayn sighs and rubs the back of his neck, eyeing him shyly. "It's you, Niall. You were in pain and asked for my help. You always looked after me back then and now I wanted to give some of it back."

At least that makes Niall feel a little less filthy.

"We don't blame him or you, okay?" Liam fixes him with a steady look. "We were a little hurt, I admit that... but we all would've done the same. Because we love you, too."

"I'm still sorry." Niall grits his teeth. "I don't want it to be awkward between any of us."

"Then let's just not make it awkward," Louis says and rests his chin on one hand, grinning wildly. "We could compare stories instead. Zayn refuses to share the juicy details with us."

"Lou," Zayn whines.

"Oh," Niall chuckles nervously. All his brain comes up with is Zayn asking him about _Harry_ , _Harry's_ scent and Zayn's _dick_. "Let's just say he knows what he's doing, yeah?"

Louis' face falls. "You're no fun."

"My suffering will not be for your entertainment." Niall gives him an amused smile.

Louis gasps. "Suffering? Have you actually _seen_ Zayn in your heat clouded state? He's a gift."

"Of course he is," Niall openly smirks now. "I told him so, many times."

Zayn blushes hard. Liam stares. Harry looks like he's ready to flip his shit and Louis actually gapes at him, shocked, before he bursts into a laugh.

"See? That's what I'm talking about."

"You're all ridiculous," Zayn mumbles but lets Liam pull him in until they're close enough to kiss.

And yes, it looks natural, like it's meant to be. The way Zayn tilts his head to deepen the kiss, how Louis pouts and whines until he gets a turn too. Zayn's lips on Louis' cheeky mouth, Liam's teeth on his jaw. They are perfect together and Niall can't help but smile. But then he feels Harry's burning gaze on him and scowls when he sees the Alpha's disappointed face. He has no right to look like that. He's still with Taylor, isn't he? So Niall decides to stay away from Harry until he makes the fucking choice that he obviously wants to make. No more cuddles, no more kisses, no more touches whatsoever. 

Niall doesn't need that crap and he doesn't want to be Harry's plaything next to their relationship. He doesn't want to let Harry believe that he can have both. Because he can't. Niall is strong enough and quite proud of himself when Harry inches closer and his only response is to move away. He ignores Harry's devastated look and talks to Liam instead. This will be easy.

*

This is not easy. How the fuck did he end up in the Omega bathroom, fingers buried in Harry's hair, latching on to his lips? Yeah, sure, the Alpha had looked at him like a mad wolf all day, one that was ready to pounce but Niall had told himself he had to go through with this to make a point. According to the clock on the wall his resolve had lasted for about... two hours. Good job, Niall Horan. 

Because now he's sucking greedily on Harry's tongue with the sink digging into the small of his back. Harry is pressing against him so hard it almost hurts but he wants to kiss him more, wants to taste. It's almost as if Harry is trying to erase Zayn's scent from his body, even though he's pretty sure that there's nothing left of him. It's been a few days and he had showered two more times since then. But Harry doesn't let himself be distracted from his task and purrs low in his throat as his hands slide down Niall's sides. He shoves them under his thighs to forcefully lift him up onto the sink and it changes the angle of their kiss, gives Niall better access to the rest of Harry's skin. 

He's so beautiful, so hot and Niall tugs harder at the black headband in Harry's hair until his head tips back willingly. Niall immediately puts his mouth on the thin skin of Harry's throat and he has to hold back hard so he doesn't suck a bruise into it. He wants everyone to know that Harry is his and he almost _faints_ when he hears the needy whine in the Alpha's throat. He's practically begging for it.

"Should've been me," Harry suddenly gasps and Niall is so surprised that he lets go and lifts his head.

"What?"

"It should've been me," he repeats breathlessly, pressing his forehead against Niall's with dark eyes that seem to want nothing else but to devour Niall. "During your heat."

"Oh yeah? Why is that?"

Harry swallows hard. "I'm the Alpha of the pack, it would've been my duty. It's the logical decision."

"Yeah, because you care so much about social dynamics, don't you?" Niall snorts. "Stop fucking lying to me, Haz." 

Niall pulls Harry even closer until their bodies are flush together and their mouths only inches apart. The Alpha follows eagerly, he always does, whatever Niall wants.

"I'm not--"

"You can't lie to me," he whispers and feels Harry's hand letting go of the sink to loop around Niall's waist instead. _So close, so close._ "I know you, remember? Now tell me the truth. Why should it have been you?"

Harry looks embarrassed, a little blush creeping up his neck and he tries to kiss Niall, to avoid the answer without doubt, but Niall's hand is back in his hair, keeping him in place. Harry pants and whines desperately.

"Come on, Hazza."

But before the answer can tear itself out of Harry's throat, the door opens and their heads whip around. An Omega girl is staring at them with wide scandalised eyes, both hands pressed to her mouth. Niall doesn't know her but he's pissed off.

"Out," he hisses.

But that only makes the Omega scowl at him. "No." Then she looks at Harry. " _You're_ leaving or I'll go get the headmaster."

"What the fuck?" Niall pushes at Harry's chest so he can get back to his feet and punch her.

"Niall," Harry keeps him in place with a tight grip on his hips. "She's right. I violated a safe space for Omegas. " 

God, he actually looks guilty. How is he so fucking decent? And why does it turn Niall on? He wants to punch him, too. But Harry just presses a soft kiss to his cheek before he steps away and hurries out of the bathroom, leaving Niall behind with mussed hair and red lips.

"Great." He gives the Omega girl a hard look and jumps down to his feet. "Ultimate cockblock is what you are."

"You know the rules." She raises her chin. "And this is not some shoujo anime."

Damn, she is feisty. Niall likes that and he gives her a sheepish grin. "Sorry."

"Yeah, yeah. Now fuck off."

He does.

*

"So, how did it happen?" Niall asks when he's out getting ice cream with Liam and Louis. Zayn is off doing something with his mum and Harry is with... Taylor. So naturally, Niall's ice cream bowl is gigantic.

"How did what happen?" Liam says around a spoon full of ice cream.

"Don't talk with your mouth full," Louis chides him while talking with his mouth full.

Niall wants to smack himself in the face. They are just perfect for each other, aren't they? All three of them. He can just imagine Louis and Liam having a silly and heated argument and when Zayn is done with them he just takes his shirt off. As far as he can tell that would be enough to make them stop fighting because the way they look at Zayn is just... Fuck, it's just really obvious, now that Niall knows. And he meant it, he _is_ happy for them.

"How did the three of you become proper mates?" He licks some ice cream from his upper lip and eyes them curiously when they both start to blush.

"I don't know, it just happened. How old were we?" Louis turns to Liam.

"Fourteen? Fifteen? We didn't exactly keep track. It was just us in the beginning, I think we made out at a party? And then we kept making out? He stole my heart, I guess."

"And your virginity."

"Oh my god, shut up. Do you always have to make fun of everything?" Liam looks truly hurt now.

Niall watches as Louis leans over to plant a long sticky kiss to his cheek. "Come on, you know I don't mean it like that. It's just my never ending insecurity that makes me crack jokes about important stuff so no one notices how much I care."

Liam sighs like they've talked about this before and rubs over his cheek. "Yeah, you need to stop this. You could say 'I love you' instead or 'Oh Liam, you are so great'!"

Louis squirms in his chair when Liam just goes back to spooning ice cream into his mouth. Niall understands that it must be hard for Louis. He can talk for hours but the important things, the serious things, they get stuck in his throat and won't come out. He seems to try really hard now because he leans over once more to whisper into Liam's ear, loud enough that Niall can hear.

"I love you. You're so great."

Liam smiles and turns his head but he's not going for a kiss, instead he smears his full spoon across Louis' face.

"Two can play that game," he grins. "But I love you too."

Louis makes a disgusted noise and starts wiping at his face. Even though he sounds annoyed he's beaming like a fool in love. It's so heart-warming, Niall feels sick. He wishes he could have this with Harry.

"So... Zayn joined you later?" Niall picks up the conversation again and they both jump like they've totally forgotten that Niall is here. Cute.

"Um, yeah," Liam mumbles. "I mean, we always fancied him."

"We could talk for hours about how hot he is. But we didn't think it meant anything because it's just obvious, right? And we loved him already because he's pack, so... there wasn't really anything to do." Louis continues.

"Until he started to date that Omega girl two years ago," Liam mutters darkly.

"She wasn't even that pretty."

"She was."

"Shut up, Liam."

Liam snorts. "She was pretty and you cried about it in my lap, stop lying. But we realised then that we really didn't want Zayn to date anyone else and we didn't love each other any less. So we pined for about six months until Harry kicked our arses and made us do something about it."

"Turned out," Louis concludes, "Zayn liked her but he likes us more. He didn't think he'd have a chance with us, so he didn't try. Silly boy, sometimes he doesn't know how amazing he is."

At least that's something Niall can agree on. Zayn knows how good-looking he is but everything else? Emotions? Actual attraction? It's flying right over his head. Seriously, there's no one better suited for Zayn. Both Liam and Louis always were the ones to lure him out of his shell, physically and emotionally. It seriously gives Niall a fluttery feeling like he's in love with their love. 

"Niall, your ice cream is melting," Liam tells him and that's when Niall realises that he hasn't been eating ever since they started telling him their story. It's not even cream anymore, just a liquid mess because it's still summer and the sun is unforgiving. 

"It's okay," Niall sighs. "Just tell me a little more, yeah?"

At least one half of their pack is happy. And Harry, since he's with Taylor. Niall tries to tell himself that he doesn't need his own happiness as long as they have it. That's all that matters, that his pack is happy.

*

Lunch break on Friday is a real trial for Niall. Because as soon as Harry approaches them, a thick and heavy scent fills his nose and makes him shudder. Harry is in a rut, _fuck_. His lips are parted for the deep breaths that leave his mouth and a few of his dark curls stick to his forehead. He's radiating it and Niall feels like he's going to pass out because his body practically screams that they're compatible. He has to leave. But Harry doesn't seem to care, he climbs onto the bench next to Niall, so incredible close that their sides are pressed together from shoulder to toe. What the fuck?

"Oh no, is it that time of the year again?" Louis seems to thrive on Harry's suffering.

Harry only growls in response, a sound that even makes the Betas duck their heads in submission. Niall on the other hand gets wet like _woah_. This needs to stop right now, so he shifts away from Harry and closer to Zayn.

"It's just a rut," Harry scowls and digs the fork into his food with a shaking hand. If his rut just started it shouldn't be that strong already. 

Unlike Omegas in heat, Alphas weren't forced to stay at home during their rut. One of the many things Alphas think Omegas should be 'grateful' for. But Niall isn't. Because this just means Niall has to be the one making sure _he_ doesn't get attacked by stupid hormone driven Alphas. How do Omegas keep out of an Alpha's trousers when they're in a rut? What a mystery! We'll never know.

"Just make sure you don't rip someone's throat out this time," Liam reminds him.

Harry just huffs in response but Niall stares at him. "You did _what?_ "

"I didn't kill someone," Harry says quickly. "I just... tried to bite him. He was annoying."

"Mhmm." Niall grins. Harry grins back.

Ruts occur less often than heats, only once or twice a year and they don't really follow a pattern, they last longer though. Apparently when an Alpha is bonded their ruts slowly start to align with some of the Omega's heats but Niall isn't sure how accurate that information is. Besides, he is taking birth control for regular heats. It's much easier to schedule then. 

"Harry?" Taylor appears next to their table, her eyes gleaming with something that Niall recognises as arousal. Right, she probably smelled him too. 

"Hey," Harry says with a smile and when he kisses Taylor, Niall looks away. He still hears her whispering something into Harry's ear, even if he can't really grasp the actual words. But they make the Alpha frown. "Um. Sure?"

"Great!" She presses another kiss to his lips, his cheek and then bares her neck to him. 

Harry growls because when he's in a rut it's even more appealing to him. Niall wants to gag when she whimpers at the soft bite he's giving her. Niall's eyes are trained on his own food and he shoves a piece of carrot across his plate. He feels the sympathetic looks of his pack mates on him but he doesn't want them. Harry obviously made a choice now and that's not Niall. _Idiot Alpha, I hate him._ He doesn't even notice that Taylor is gone until Harry suddenly ducks his face into Niall's shoulder and scents him. 

"You smell good..."

"The fuck?" Niall shoves him away roughly. "You serious right now?"

Harry looks hurt but also really desperate. "I'm sorry?"

"Fuck you, I hope your knot falls off."

With that he stands up, takes his tray and dumps it on Harry's head. He feels quite good when he walks away and a few random students applaud him. Harry is an idiot, the biggest idiot Niall has ever met and he's so done with all of this.

*

It's Saturday and they do a pack day with a sleepover. They used to do that all the time when they were little but they haven't done it since Niall is back so he is quite excited. Not so excited about seeing Harry but it wasn't exactly planned that he would come along, they all figured he'd spend the weekend with Taylor holed up in his room. Apparently Harry had insisted on joining them. He isn't here yet and Niall gets comfortable on Zayn's bed while the others bustle about in the living room to get the drinks and the snacks ready. They start with a film marathon and Niall won't complain.

"We'll let you choose the first film," Louis says when he slips into the room and then climbs into bed next to Niall.

"Why?" Niall raises an eyebrow at Louis and moves over to make some room for him.

"Because we love you and Harry is an idiot."

Niall giggles. "Yes, he is."

"Can't believe he would choose Taylor over you." Louis gently brushes over Niall's cheek with his knuckles. "Not even Zayn could say no to you."

"Yeah well, I practically begged him. Zayn's just too nice."

"Oh yes, I bet it was a real hardship for him," Louis huffs sarcastically and props up his head on one hand while the other moves down to squeeze Niall's knee. "He didn't even need to confess. When he came in later that day we could see it. He looked well fucked."

Niall flushes slightly. "Louis..."

"Don't worry about it, seriously. Maybe I just wish I could've seen it." Louis' voice sounds much huskier now and the tips over his fingers shift away from his knee to trace the seam on the inside of his jeans. Niall sucks in a sharp breath. "What I'm really upset about is that you were on your own for seven fucking years. Without us. And I know you worried about Harry but even when Liam and I were together, even when Zayn joined us later... we always took care of him." Louis digs the nails of his fingers into the flesh of Niall's thigh, making him spread his legs just a little to give him better access. "We took care of him, he was never alone. So you don't have to be either, okay?"

Niall slightly shifts his head to look at Louis, to find out if he's actually serious about this. He must be, because he's a little red in the face and his eyes are glazed over. His hand squeezes him again, close to his crotch this time and Niall lets out a breathless moan that barely counts as one. It's so tiny and small but it makes Louis smile at him.

"Lou..." Niall lifts his own hand to brush the soft hair out of his face. Louis, always the hero, trying to make Niall's sadness go away. He loves his pack so much it's killing him.

"Dammit, Louis. Ever heard about decency? Or the right moment? Harry could be here any minute." Liam walks in with a laughing Zayn behind him.

Louis pouts. "I could get him off before Harry arrives."

Niall lifts an eyebrow. "You're very confident about your skills."

He gives him a mischievous grin in return. "Years and years of practise, my dear Nialler."

"Oh god," Niall laughs but doesn't shove Louis away when he's moving his hand further up.

"Um, mates?" Zayn frowns at his phone. "Harry is asking if he can bring Taylor along."

Well, there goes Niall's erection. _Bye, bye._ Funnily enough, they all look at _him_ for an answer. But honestly? He doesn't care.

"Let him. She's going to join the pack eventually and none of us can stop it."

"It's not just his decision."

"It is," Niall insists. "In this it is. Sorry." He gently shoves Louis' hand away and kisses his jaw before he gets up and hides himself in the kitchen where the food is. 

He is still there when the doorbell rings, gnawing on an apple for whatever reason. It was just there. He can hear their voices, Taylor's voice, all high and delighted. Okay, he can do that, he can absolutely do that... after hiding a little longer. Unfortunately Harry finds him only moments later, shutting the door behind him. He's freshly showered, probably had to after what Niall did. But he doesn't look angry, instead he kneads his fingers like he's still feeling guilty. 

"I'm sorry," he blurts out before Niall can say anything. "I was an arse and I just... it wasn't fair of me to do any of that to you and... we're pack mates, I don't want you to be angry with me. Can we just... can we still be friends?"

Friends. Niall keeps nibbling at his apple and dangles his feet over the counter on which he had hopped on earlier. He's watching Harry carefully, drinking in his face and his smell. God, it's just... it hurts but of course he still wants Harry in his life. Whatever happens, they are a pack. And maybe Niall can move on one day? But the longer Niall stays silent the more nervous Harry grows and the increased scent clouds his brain.

"I made you muffins," Harry adds urgently.

"Muffins?" Niall raises an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I... a peace offering? I don't like it when you're mad at me." He shifts from one foot to another, biting at his bottom lip. God, can he stop being so endearing? Niall is struggling here.

"Hazza..." He drops his apple to the side and reaches out to him with both hands. Harry is in his arms only a breath later, burying his nose in Niall's neck with a relieved sigh. "We'll always be mates and we'll always be friends. Sorry I dumped my food on you."

There's a puff of breath on Niall's skin, like Harry is laughing. "You're just sorry about the food."

Niall chuckles and can't help but scent his way through Harry's curls. God, that rut is doing things to him too. "Maybe."

When Harry slowly pulls away and looks at him with wet eyes he feels a little bad for scaring Harry like that. He's an idiot but Niall loves that idiot. And they sorted it now, didn't they?

"So... no more kisses, yeah? Just friends?" Harry asks quietly.

"No more kisses," Niall agrees with a nod and combs back the curls that stick to his forehead. Harry's eyelids droop ever so slightly and damn. Niall kisses him. He is terrible but he can't help it, he kisses him sharply on the mouth, breathes him in, lets the rut echo through his own body. He swallows the surprised noise, the little hitch in his breath and fuck, he wants _more_. Which is bad, so he tears his mouth away and looks into the green eyes of a shocked Harry.

"Fuck," he breathes. "Sorry. That was like... a goodbye kiss? Yeah, just one last kiss." 

Then he quickly slips from the counter to join the others back in the living room but Harry grabs him before he can reach the door. He pulls him back and Niall barely turns around before Harry cups his face with both hands.

"At least let it be a proper one then," he whispers and meets Niall's lips in an open mouthed kiss.

Well shit, that is even better. Niall tries to hold back a groan and twists his fingers in the back of Harry's shirt. There's something disgustingly thrilling about it. To steal kisses behind closed doors, knowing that Taylor and their pack is in the other room. Did Harry tell them he needed to talk to Niall for a second? To make up with him? Niall likes this kind of making up. God, it shouldn't feel that good. 

Harry runs his tongue over Niall's teeth one last time before he pulls away with a soft sigh. Niall is panting and licks over his lips, gazing back at Harry, wondering if his eyes just mirror Niall's own want. Yeah, they're really bad at being friends, aren't they?

"We should go back..."

Harry nods. "Okay."

Niall rakes a hand through his own hair, hoping he doesn't look too dishevelled. At least Harry had already looked like that when he came in. Stupid rut. When Niall walks back into the living room everyone is draped over the huge sofa with snacks and drinks and a bunch of films spread out in front of them on the coffee table. There's a huge space between Zayn and Taylor, she's leaning against the arm rest and throws a look over her shoulder, smiling at Harry. Zayn pats the spot next to him.

"Come here, Nialler."

Great, so now he has to sit next to Harry. That will be even more fun. Maybe the others will let him cuddle with them, that's the only way he can survive this. Because this sofa is still a little small for six people and his thigh presses up against Harry's. He's so _warm_. The first thing he does though is grab one of the muffins on the table because they look delicious. They're all chocolate flavoured and Niall almost moans at the taste. Fuck, Harry really doesn't give himself enough credit for his baking skills.

"Fuck Haz, those are _good_."

Harry smiles. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." He smiles back.

"What film will it be?" Liam interrupts them.

Niall only has to take one look to know which one he wants to watch and he reaches out at the same time Harry moves forward. Obviously no one had informed him that it's Niall's turn to choose but their hands meet on the same Blu-ray. Titanic. They both turn to look at each other.

"Titanic is amazing," Harry states the obvious.

"I know right?" Niall can't help but beam. "First time we saw an 'unconventional' relationship and a badass Omega on screen."

"You forgot Carrie!" Harry almost yells.

"Shit." Niall tugs at his own hair. "Dishonour on my cow. Carrie was _so_ good."

Harry squints then and points a finger at him. "1976 version or 2013?"

Niall shrugs. "Both, of course."

Harry's suspicion melts into a smile with dimples so deep Niall wants to touch them. "Right answer."

"Wasn't that movie a little too fucked up and brutal?" Taylor has both arms locked around Harry's left arm and frowns at Niall.

"Yeah, that's the point." Niall rolls his eyes. "A bullied Omega with telekinetic powers wreaks revenge on her school? I thought it was awesome. Maybe you guys should do something like that for your prom."

"Kill people?" Taylor gasps.

"No, but like... the thing with the blood was so cool? If we could do it to others?" Then he gets an idea and he reaches over Zayn to grab Louis arm with an excited noise. "Fire sprinklers!"

Niall loves Louis because he understands immediately and his eyes begin to sparkle. "Yes! Fuck, we could mess with the water storage tank."

"To do what?" Taylor sounds confused.

"We could let it rain blood on everyone," Harry explains. "Not real blood but if we get enough red food dye in the tank it will _look_ like blood. Everyone will run out screaming! I'm in."

"You could get in trouble for that." Taylor frowns at Harry. 

"Where would be the fun if we didn't?" Zayn retorts and bumps fists with a grinning Harry.

"It would ruin everyone's fun. Some people look forward to prom." Like her, Niall thinks. She looks really butthurt.

"Come on," Harry groans. "It's just prom."

Taylor takes a deep breath and loosens her grip on his arm. "Fine. I'll remember not to wear an expensive dress then."

The awkward silence that follows is only disturbed by Liam's cough. "Um, I'm gonna pop in the film now."

At least it's easier after that. Niall drapes Zayn's arm around himself and throws a leg over Harry's knee because he's not as strong as he wants to be. But to stay away from him completely would be even more suspicious. They're still pack, a little touching should be allowed. Still, he doesn't dare to look at Taylor and check for her reaction. Instead he concentrates on the film and sighs at the hopelessly abusive relationship Rose is in. Her Alpha fiancé is a right twat and Niall has to shovel a handful of m&ms into his mouth so he doesn't start to rant about it. Bless Jack Dawson, the amazing Beta who helps Rose realise what she actually wants and supports her through everything.

"I don't get it," Taylor pipes up when Rose and Jack are doing it in the back of the car. They struggle a little because it's different with an Omega and a Beta but who cares? They love each other and sex can still work. It worked between him and Zayn.

"You don't get what?" Harry mutters without looking away from the screen and steals an m&m from the bowl in Niall's lap.

"Why would she settle for a Beta? Yeah, her fiancé is a prat but she needs someone who can provide, doesn't she? If she goes with Jack she might end up on the streets. It's just a typical love story that tries to lure us in with unconventional relationships."

"Woah," Harry leans away to look at her. "It's not just a love story. It pictures how Omegas are treated in a class society that is dominated by Alphas. Omegas are like possessions to them, he _literally_ tries to buy Rose with that necklace. That's why she dumps it back into the fucking ocean. It's not something of the past, it still happens today."

Niall licks over his teeth and he is glad that no one is looking at _him_ because all he can think is _talk dirty to me_. Harry speaking about Omega rights is the weirdest turn on but it fucking works, every time.

Taylor rolls her eyes. "Some Omegas like it."

Now Niall really has to frown. "But it shouldn't be expected. We barely have any rights, everything has to be approved of either by our parents or later by our Alphas. It's like we can't make our own decisions. It's my decision who I fall in love with, doesn't matter if it's an Alpha, a Beta or another Omega." Taylor huffs like she doesn't take him serious and that makes him even more angry. He feels the heat rise into his cheeks. "We earn less money, we don't get to do certain jobs, we're constantly objectified, we have our own porn category, do you think that's okay? Two Omegas being together is only allowed in stupid Alpha sex fantasies!"

"Come on, those porn sites don't hurt anyone. And Omegas can't really satisfy each other anyway? How would that work?"

"Anything can work when you love someone." Niall throws his hands up in the air. "And of course they hurt someone, they hurt _us_! They hurt any Omega who wants to make their own decisions because shit like that only endorses the fucked up system that we live in!"

Taylor shakes her head with another roll of her eyes and Niall wants to strangle her. Then she nudges Harry with her elbow. "Don't you have anything to say about that?"

Niall growls. "No, Taylor. He's an Alpha, this is about _Omegas_ , don't you get it? We need to stop let them talk for us." Niall can't believe she's acting like that. She should know better. Granted, she fits into the typical Omega mould like a pro, but what about the ones who don't? Doesn't she care about them?

"I'm not trying to make him talk for us, I'm just asking for his support because he's my boyfriend!"

"You can't hide behind him forever. Support means he encourages you to be the best version of yourself, not to let him lift you up so you can look down at people. _God_." He twists out of Zayn's arm and hands him the candy bowl before he rises to his feet. He suddenly can't stand it to be in the same room with her.

"What are you, some social justice warrior?" She's still not letting it go.

"At least I'm not just fighting for myself," he hisses and stomps out of the room. 

His hands are shaking and his legs are itching, so on his way to the door he kicks over an expensive looking lamp. (He hopes Zayn's mum will forgive him.) How can anyone be so selfish? How can Harry be with her? Fuck, he's out. Niall can't have her in the pack. He'll leave first if he has to. With a frustrated growl he dashes down the stairs and he's almost at the bottom when he hears quick feet following him.

"Niall!"

Fuck. It _has_ to be Harry, huh? He whips his head around sharply and glares at the Alpha. "What do you want? Go back and finish the film."

"Not without you..."

"God, why are you even here? Why did you follow me?"

"I... I always follow you."

He needs to stop saying shit like that. It does things to Niall and sends him into a spiral of anger and want because he can't have Harry and it's _annoying_.

"Just go away, Harry."

"I don't understand why you're so angry with me. What did I do?" He looks so lost there on the upper floor. Niall is on the lower one with only stairs between them.

"Nothing. I just don't get why you're with her when you could be with me instead."

Harry's confusion only increases, Niall can see it in the way his shoulders drop, how his eyes widen. "What?"

"What _what?_ "

"You... want to be with me?"

Niall stares at Harry's dumbfounded face. "Are you kidding me right now? You _kissed_ me! I kissed you back! What did you _think_ I want?"

"I..." Harry takes one step down the stairs. "I don't know. I thought it was just pack stuff for you. Like... what we did when we were pups."

"We're not pups anymore." Niall bites his lip when Harry keeps walking down the stairs, eyes suddenly gleaming with something... He doesn't dare to call it 'hope'.

"We're not. But you never said anything, how should I have known that you liked me like that?"

"God, Harry." How can he be so oblivious. How can he look in the mirror and not believe that everybody wants him _like that_? But Niall doesn't just want him. "I've loved you since forever."

Suddenly Harry just skips the last few steps and throws his arms around Niall with an ugly sob. Niall stumbles backwards from the impact but keeps them upright, hands coming around to hold him.

"I love you too, Ni... so much."

Niall closes his eyes. "If you love me, why did you stay with her?"

Harry pulls away with a heavy breath, rubbing an arm over his nose and forehead. He's still sweating from the rut. "I just couldn't... She is nice and I like her. I don't want to hurt her."

"There will always be someone who ends up getting hurt. You can't stop it, so don't hurt yourself."

"It's been a year, Niall. She'll... freak out or something."

Niall feels like tearing his own hair out. "And what do _you_ want? What do you want, Harry? Do you want to go back inside? _What_ do you want?" 

Harry only lowers his eyes and Niall has enough. He grabs Harry by his biceps and pushes him against the wall, thigh between his legs. He's much smaller than Harry but the Alpha slides down the wall a few inches until his crotch meets Niall's thigh, almost like it's on instinct. Niall keeps his hands where they are and looks Harry into the eyes, firm and steadily because he's only going to say this once.

"That's what _I_ want to do. I wanted to do this since the day I saw you again. When you walked away with Taylor I wanted to press you against the next best surface and kiss you. It never stopped. And then when you said I was perfectly capable of defending myself? God I wanted to jump you right there and get you off."

Harry gasps and grinds down on Niall's thigh, eyes fixed on Niall's lips and his words.

"Niall—"

"Shut up, Haz," he hisses. "It's my turn to talk. You're an idiot you know that? Keeping me on my toes since I'm back because you're such a coward. You always have been. Always twisting yourself into something you're not, always lying so others would like you or to get what you want. It never worked on me. You know why, don't you?"

Harry shakes his head and whimpers, pressing harder against Niall's leg and fuck, Niall can feel how rock hard he is in his tight jeans. He's so beautiful, so needy and when he's in a rut he smells even better.

"You know." Niall grabs Harry's face with one hand, digging his nails into the softness of his cheeks. It makes the Alpha buck his hips desperately. "You have to know it, didn't you see the way I look at you? Even when we were little? I _knew_ you. I still know you. You don't have to pretend with me. I can see right through you, I know all your flaws the way you see mine. You're perfect, Haz. So fucking perfect, it's upsetting."

Harry is shamelessly rubbing himself off on Niall's thigh now while he holds on to his shoulders. They're still on the staircase, any neighbour could hear them and walk out but Harry doesn't care or he doesn't realise it. Both of it turns Niall on. He looks so good with his hooded eyes and his mouth hanging open. He's completely lost in it and has no eyes or brain for anything else. 

"See how good you are?" Niall whispers and pushes up his leg harder against Harry's cock. He makes a strangled noise and closes his eyes, twisting his fingers in the fabric of Niall's top. "Such a good Alpha for me. Just for me yeah?" Harry gives him a distracted nod and Niall can feel how the weight on his thigh increases, Harry's legs are shaking but still try to keep him up. "Good. Knew you were a good boy, always."

"Niall..." 

_Fucking hell_ , he sounds so broken, wolfish, like he is burning up with need. He is, he's in a _rut_ and he probably shagged Taylor yesterday, many times. But Niall doesn't even care because nothing of that matters anymore. Harry is with him right now, he's getting off on nothing but Niall's leg and his words that make the Alpha go crazy. It's the best thing and Niall can't stop talking, can't stop touching him. His fingers are just rubbing over Harry's chest now but there he can feel the muscles work whenever he squirms, can feel his heart pound.

"You can mount Taylor all you want but this?" he slides one hand down to press the heel firmly against Harry's dick. It makes him groan. "This is mine. You, your fucking heart, it's all mine, you've always been mine, Haz, ever since I broke your fucking lunch box in nursery." His own breath falters then and he adds a little more quietly, "and I've been yours since the day you pulled me out of that stupid shack. I don't want Taylor to touch you, don't want her to even look at you. You're mine, Haz. Say it, yeah? Say you're mine."

Harry doesn't say it. Niall doesn't know if he's too far gone or just doesn't feel the same but there's not a single word coming over his lips, just little moans and gasps. His eyes though, they are still watching Niall so he probably heard him.

"Come on, Haz. Wanna hear you say it."

But Harry does something much better. Something that has Niall almost collapse on the floor. He's tilting his head to the side, offering his neck to Niall in sweet submission. It's way better than words. 

"Fuck," Niall groans, still trying to ignore his own arousal but it's hard, so fucking hard. 

He wants nothing more than to sink his teeth into Harry's scent glands, to just bond with him right here but he knows he can't. So he chooses a higher spot, right under Harry's jaw and bites into it. Harry tastes as good as he smells and Niall closes his eyes as he presses his whole body against him, sucking and nibbling at the sensitive skin. Harry sucks in a sharp breath and claws at Niall when he comes. His whole body shakes, hips rolling to ride out his orgasm. And it must be a good one because Niall feels his own jeans dampen underneath.

He tears his mouth away from Harry only a moment later. He steps back completely and watches Harry sink down to the floor with a hand pressing down on his knot to keep it in check. Apparently it can hurt like hell if it has nothing to lock in to. And Harry is so wrecked now, curls wildly sticking to his face as he stares up at Niall with wide eyes. There's a bruise on his neck in the shape of Niall's mouth and it looks good on him. It looks right. Niall licks his lips to remind himself of the taste and then swallows hard.

"Make a fucking choice, Harry. I won't wait forever."

It's a lie, because it's Harry and he probably _will_ wait forever. But at least he has told him now. Everything. Harry can do with that whatever he wants. So Niall leaves and doesn't look back.

*

When Niall wakes up on Sunday morning he feels like he's been on ecstasy or something. His body feels sore and he is too warm, like he's burning up with a fever. Great. It's in the middle of summer, how did he catch a cold? That's just his luck, isn't it? He drags himself through the flat all day, worrying his mum, but he tells her he is fine. Maybe yesterday is just taking its toll now.

Harry hasn't texted him or anything so Niall believes he's either with Taylor or needs time to think about it. Both doesn't really ease his mind but at least it's a choice then. Or thinking about a choice. Still, after lunch he crawls back into his bed and looks up Liam's number in his contacts. It doesn't take long for him to pick up.

" _Nialler! You okay?_ "

"I'm fine. Did you guys have fun? Sorry for leaving like that."

" _Don't apologise, we understand... Um, Louis told Taylor how she was crossing the line and I can't believe she didn't realise how upset you were._ "

"It's fine. I don't actually care anymore, I'm just... did... did Harry say anything?"

Liam snorts through the phone. " _When he didn't come back after 20 minutes I went to look for him. You left him in quite a state, didn't you?_ "

Niall tries not to think about how deliciously ravaged Harry had looked and or how he wants to see him like that again. "It got a bit out of hand."

" _A bit? And why do you sound so out of breath?_ "

Niall instantly draws his hand out of his sweatpants. Did he just _touch_ himself while talking to his pack mate and thinking about Harry? He really needs to get a grip on himself.

"I'm... sorry. I think I'm getting sick."

" _Do you want any of us to come over?_ "

"No, it's fine. We'll see each other at school tomorrow." He's ready to hang up when he remembers something. "Um, Liam? Did Taylor see Harry like that? Did they talk?"

" _Ah... No. I pushed him into the bathroom before Taylor could see him and she left after that because she was pissed. Don't know if they talked. But she didn't see the bite mark, don't worry._ "

Niall groans and throws an arm over his eyes. "God, this is the worst."

" _I'm really sorry. Didn't think everything would blow up like that._ "

"Not your fault. I'll just catch up with school stuff now. See you, Payno."

Liam chuckles fondly. " _Okay, Nialler. Text us if you need something, okay?_ "

"Will do. Love you."

" _Love you, too_."

This time he keeps his word and does _not_ think about Harry Styles. Instead he reads up on his classes and finishes a few of his assignments until he's too tired to keep his eyes open. He dreams of nothing, which is nice for once, even though he still feels restless in the morning. But he's also much happier? It's like a weight has been lifted, not off his shoulders but his heart, like it's been too heavy ever since he found out about Harry and Taylor. Because there's nothing else he can do and nothing else to say. 

So he's in a good mood when he leaves for school and enters his classroom with a smile. In retrospect he had been a bit careless. There's a screech coming from the back of the room and when Niall looks up from his phone a very furious Taylor comes running at him with smudged eyeliner running down her face. She reminds him of the Furies from Greek mythology, drunk on jealousy and ready to pick his eyes out. But when he gets tackled to the ground and feels her nails dig into the skin on his face, all he can think of is:

 _Oh... maybe Harry broke up with her_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you try to kill me because Harry and Niall didn't spend the heat together... I'm gonna make up for it. Promise! 
> 
> ALSO. I finally caved and made a 1D sideblog. Yeah, I know I'm a little too late :3 But in case you wanna come talk to me or yell at me... I'M HERE
> 
>  
> 
> <https://squishyharold.tumblr.com/>


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your feedback guys, I'm really happy you're still with me <3 Took a while again, I was busy stressing over a job interview but then my ticket for Harry's concert in Cologne arrived and now i'm fine, haha. Mostly. Because his album has shipped two days ago but it's still not here. Guess I'm stressing out _again_.
> 
> Hope you'll enjoy this chapter <3

Niall sits next to Taylor in front of the headmaster's office with tissues and ice packs pressed to their faces. Niall looks the worst with three deep scratches on his left cheek that sting and burn. Taylor is trying to cool down her eye with an ice pack because it's swollen from when Niall knocked his elbow into her face. Their fight had lasted until the teachers came to pull them apart and now they're just waiting. They can hear Mr. Cowell talking to someone on the phone but with the door between them the words melt into a puddle of gibberish. It's a little awkward to be honest. Taylor hasn't said anything since they've been brought here ten minutes ago. But then again, Niall has been quiet too. He just doesn't know what to say.

"I hate you," she finally breaks the silence. 

"Okay," he says and stops dabbing at his face. He feels like it's just making everything worse. 

"Tell me now, please. How long? Since when have you known the others and Harry?"

Niall reluctantly turns his head because he wanted to avoid the broken look on her face. "Since I've been five years old. We were all placed in the same playgroup in nursery."

"Fuck," she hisses and shakes her head. "I was really hoping... like... that you were just a replacement for me. That he's interested in you because you remind him of me. But that's just too long, isn't it? _I'm_ the god damn replacement. I've been so stupid!"

"What do you mean, replacement?" He frowns.

"Seriously? Have you looked at yourself? At me? Same eyes, same taste in music, I'm playing the guitar like you... We're not that different. All he saw in me was you."

Oh. That. Niall had made that connection before but yeah, _he'd_ been scared that Harry was only interested in him because he and Taylor were so much alike. He remembers how sick he had felt. Probably the way _she_ feels now. A nightmare.

"Sorry."

She frowns at him. "I don't think you're actually sorry." Well. It's true. But he still feels bad for her. "God, it's just not fair. I really, genuinely love him but I just wasted my time, didn't I? I knew he was trouble when he walked into my life."

"Spending time with Harry will never be wasted time. Maybe you can still fix this with him." Woah, he should just shut up.

"What?" Taylor stares at him. "Don't you get it yet? _He broke up with me_."

"Oh..." Niall's brain is pleasantly empty.

"Yeah, oh. Fuck, I always knew there was something he wasn't tell me but this makes me feel like he used me. I shouldn't have stayed with him, I'm so stupid. I could've been with someone who really wants me instead." There's a small pause. "No wonder he was so shy." She presses the ice pack harder against her eye and slumps down in her chair.

"What do you mean? Harry isn't shy." He always takes what he wants. Or maybe begs for it.

"He..." She takes a deep breath and shakes her head. "He was a real Alpha in everything but never in bed, he always wanted to take his time. He didn't want to sleep with me for months, not even during my heat or his rut, we were always taking baby steps. I was fine with that, I even thought it was sweet and shows how kind he is. But ever since you came here he is all over you, like he wants to run off with you to Vegas and marry you. Couldn't hear it anymore, honestly. Niall this and Niall that and then his eyes would sparkle like... " She sighs. "He was waiting for someone else, I can see it now."

There's a lump in Niall's throat and he tries to swallow it down as he watches her trying not to break. He easily could've been in her place and he doesn't know if he'd survive that.

"I'm sorry," he says sincerely this time. "I didn't really know until recently that he... might be... fuck, I'm just really sorry. I don't think I've treated you well, I've been so... so jealous."

"Yeah, you were really mean sometimes." She smiles weakly. "But I guess I've been just as jealous. I didn't think you were wrong the other day, you know? About Omegas. I mean... you're braver than me, I wouldn't fight for others or for justice in general. I just want to get by, I just want to live my life because that's enough for me to handle. And sometimes I barely even manage that. But that doesn't mean I think you're wrong. I just... I just wanted to disagree with you. I was pissed at you and at Harry and... I couldn't stop myself. I'm sorry."

Niall nods but doesn't look at her, the same way she doesn't look at him. "Yeah. I get it. I really do. I would let you punch me again."

It makes her chuckle but that laugh quickly turns into a dry sob and she shakes her head again. "No... You're the one with the mean punch. I just got my nails."

"Yeah, but they're sharp. You should use them more often when someone treats you like shit." He shoots her a lame smile.

That's when the door opens and Mr. Cowell takes a step outside with one hand still on the door handle.

"Please come inside, Ms. Swift." He waves her over. "And you're going to wait right there, Mr. Horan."

He nods weakly and watches Taylor disappear inside. Then he's alone. With a sigh he leans back in his chair and closes his eyes, trying to wrap his mind around Taylor's words. Harry has broken up with her, yesterday or this morning, he doesn't know. It means Harry has made a choice and Niall feels ridiculously happy about it. Is it appropriate to get together so soon after a break-up? The whole school would talk about them and Taylor will get a lot of shit, too. It's just a big mess, isn't it? But he doubts that he'll be able to stay away from Harry. Not now, when the reason to hold back is finally gone.

"Ni?"

His eyes snap open when he hears Harry's voice and... yeah, there he is, sticking his head around the corner with a worried look.

"What are you doing here?" He hisses. "Shouldn't you be in class?"

"I heard what happened," Harry mumbles and carefully approaches Niall before he crouches down in front of him with a hand to his cheek. It stings when he touches the scratches and Niall flinches. Harry pulls back immediately. "Sorry. I just wanted to know if you're okay. Can't believe she did that."

"Well, she's not the harmless little Omega I thought she was." Niall can't really look at Harry and he doesn't know why. 

He feels so tender suddenly, his skin, his heart. He wants to wrap his arms around Harry and kiss him but he's shaking. Maybe he didn't actually believe Harry would break up with her. Maybe he had thought it would hurt for another week or month. It's ridiculous, why would he fall apart now? Everything is fine, isn't it? Except for the fever that is nagging at him and Harry's smell that is even more overwhelming now. His rut is at its peak and will last another few days. Niall wants nothing more than to climb into Harry's lap. Like, right now.

"She wasn't happy, yeah. Thought she would scratch my eyes out when I told her I wanted to be with you."

"You told her that?" Niall quickly lifts his head, staring at Harry, at the purple mark that is still on his neck. It sends a thrill down his spine, especially since Harry made sure that none of his curls are covering it.

"Yeah, of course," Harry says and moves closer and closer until their foreheads bump together. "I want you."

Niall breaches the distance between them with a small sigh and closes his eyes when their lips meet in a soft kiss. It feels good, now that he is actually allowed to do that. He could kiss Harry for hours and do nothing else. He wouldn't care if the world burns down around him as long as he can kiss this idiot.

They part again with a soft pop of their lips but Harry doesn't pull back completely, he keeps hovering and rubs soothing circles into Niall's thigh. How is he so calm and collected with his rut making him sweat like that? Niall can barely hold it together, but it's not just about Harry.

"Are you alright?" He asks with a nudge of his nose to Niall's cheek.

"No..." He shakes his head and peeks at the door that is still closed. "Mr. Cowell warned me last time that if I get into another fight I will be expelled."

"Shit," Harry breathes and pulls him into a hug.

He smells even more intense now, Niall has no idea what the fuck is happening. He wants to bite at his skin and crawl underneath but since that's not possible he just rubs his nose into Harry's shoulder and takes deep breaths. An all-consuming fire that eats him alive, a scent that melts into his own. It feels even stronger today.

"Fuck," he whines when the fabric of Harry's shirt burns on his scratches and makes him lean back. 

"Does it still hurt?" Harry asks softly.

Niall nods. He had meant it, Taylor has some mean claws covered in red nail polish. You wouldn't even see the blood on them. 

"Come here," Harry whispers then and gently turns Niall's head with a fingertip to his chin before he presses the flat of his tongue on Niall's cheek.

He suppresses a squeal because it's hot, Harry is so hot, and he licks into the wounds like he's cleaning them.

"Harry," he whispers but Harry keeps going with a low purr in his throat, spreading the saliva on his sensitive skin.

It helps, strangely enough. The scratches stop throbbing and everything gets pleasantly numb, even his body relaxes under Harry's sweet care. He drapes his arms around the Alpha's neck so he doesn't get in danger of slipping off the chair and angles his head a little more to side, giving Harry better access. A pleased hum escapes his mouth and he squeezes between Niall's legs, with his hands resting on the back of his chair. It's quite pleasant and Niall feels himself grow a little wet, he just can't help it. Everything feels so good and makes his head swim with want for more. Which, of course, is the moment the door opens once more with Taylor and Mr. Cowell emerging. They make huge eyes at them and the worst thing is that Harry is so far gone he doesn't even realise it. He just keeps pressing his mouth and tongue into Niall's skin while Niall tries to get his attention by slapping his shoulder. It doesn't work.

"Mr. Styles," the headmaster's voice booms through the hallway. 

Harry's head snaps up immediately and he stares at them with blazed eyes, licking his lips in confusion. "Huh?"

Mr. Cowell squints at him. "Shouldn't you be in class?"

Harry's eyes flicker from Mr. Cowell to Taylor, who looks sad and angry and hurt all at once, then back to Niall who shoves his face away by smacking a palm into it.

"He was just leaving," Niall splutters.

"I hope he was, otherwise he'll get detention until he graduates."

Harry growls unreasonably harsh and Niall is pretty sure that the rut is fucking with his brain right now. That and, perhaps, Niall's taste still on his tongue.

"Jesus, Harry," he hisses. " _Go_."

He does, with a very unhappy face. When he disappears around the corner Niall finally gets up from his seat.

"Now." Mr Cowell gestures at Taylor. "Sit down again, your parents will pick you up."

Taylor just nods with a few tears in her eye (the other is still covered by the ice pack) and then Niall gets pulled into the office.

"Mr. Horan," he starts his speech as usual but this time Niall has to interrupt him.

"I'm sorry. I really am. I didn't mean for this to happen, I swear! Please don't kick me out my mother will _kill me_."

But Mr. Cowell seems pretty relaxed and leans back in his chair with the end of a pen in his mouth. Niall wants to vomit because he feels like he's watching his grandpa doing something sexual. 

"You're very lucky, Mr. Horan, because Ms. Swift took all the blame. She said it was her who started it and that you were only defending yourself."

Oh. So she didn't lie then. Mr. Cowell looks at Niall expectantly, which only makes the Omega scowl. What is he expecting, some kind of confession? Should he declare his undying gratitude? He's not mad at her but it _was_ her fault. He's not to blame, not this time.

"Well," he says. "that _is_ what happened."

"Is it now? She's not covering for you?"

"Why would she? Do you know why she tried to beat my face like an egg?"

"I'm not interested in the drama and gossip at my school, I'm only interested in the truth."

Sometimes Niall doesn't know how to deal with that man's self-absorbed attitude. He should be an Alpha, not a Beta.

"It's the truth. I didn't just ignore your last warning, I know what's at stake."

Mr. Cowell looks at him for a long time, probably trying to figure out whether he's lying or not. Well, he's not, so he won't back down.

"Fine," the headmaster says eventually. "Then that last warning still stands. But I called your mother and she will come pick you up soon. I want you and Ms. Swift to see a doctor and then you can come back to school tomorrow."

Niall groans. Great, so his mum will still kill him. Maybe it will be quick and painless. When he leaves Mr. Cowell's office Taylor is already gone. She's probably been picked up by her parents, so Niall is alone when he sits down and waits. He quickly shoots off a text into his pack's group chat, telling them that he's been sent home and that he'll see them tomorrow. The string of emojis he receives even though no one is allowed to use their phones during classes makes him smile. He gets a second text after that, from Harry.

_Tell me if you need something. xx_

Niall chews on his lips because there are a lot of things he needs. Starting with Harry and ending with Styles. But they haven't talked about anything yet and he doesn't want to rush into things (that's a lie), so he just types out a quick _thanks Haz, I will ring you later_ before he opens the front camera to take a good look at his face. It's actually much better already? It's not bleeding anymore and the skin around the scratches isn't as red and irritated as it was before. 

"Niall."

Oh no, there comes his mum. She's frowning as she approaches him, her little handbag swinging around her hips because of her furious steps. Niall can't tell whether she's angry or just worried.

"Mum..."

"Are you alright?" She touches his face with her slim fingers and Niall lets out the breath he has been holding. No, she's definitely not angry.

"I'm fine and I'm sorry you had to leave work early..." He admits that he's a little scared she might lose her job. He doesn't want to be responsible for that again and he certainly doesn't want her to hate him.

"It's fine, pup. I'll do another shift this evening to make up for it. My boss is very understanding of our situation."

"Okay." He still looks at the floor with a guilty expression.

"Now come." She kisses his forehead. "I'll take you to the doctor."

"I told you I'm fine."

"I know but I want to be sure and you still have a fever. I already made an appointment, come on."

Niall hasn't been to a doctor since he came back and when they arrive he realises that it's the same one he has seen since he was a child. It's also the one who examined him and Harry after the teeth licking incident. It all seems so long ago now. The man has less hair now and more wrinkles but his hands are still fucking cold when he touches Niall's face.

"This doesn't look so bad, it's already starting to heal." He pauses and rubs over Niall's slightly sticky face. "Were you with an Alpha?"

Niall swallows and his eyes briefly flicker over to his mum who had insisted on being present during the examination. "Um, yeah."

"The saliva of an Alpha carries a special enzyme that benefits tissue repair and has an anti-bacterial effect. Not many people know that anymore because it's frowned upon like everything else." He sighs deeply and Niall avoids his mother's eyes.

"I didn't know that either," Niall mutters.

"And what about his fever?" His mother asks a little worried.

"High temperature, no swollen lymph nodes and he is sensitive to touch. Typical signs of a heat so I'm not sure what you want me to tell you."

His mother makes an alarmed noise while Niall blurts out a shrill "What?"

"Heat," the doctor deadpans. "I doubt this is your first one."

"No, but I just _had_ my heat and I'm on birth control which is supposed to make them a regular thing." 

Fuck, how is this even happening? Of course he had felt the similarity but... since his heat was just the other week he'd really thought it was some kind of flu.

"Oh. Well, that changes things, of course." The doctor leaves for his desk and sits down behind it while Niall stays on the examination table with his mouth still open in shock. "It appears then that you're in a false heat. They are like regular heats, you just won't be as fertile."

"What the fuck?" He hisses.

"Niall," his mother chides him. "Language."

"Sorry, mum."

"How can he be in a false heat?" She asks the doctor while petting Niall's head like she did when he was younger. _Here we go again_. "How does something like that happen?"

"Well," the doctor fixes Niall with apologetic eyes. Oh no, what is he about to say? "It can happen when an Omega is close to a compatible Alpha in rut. It's usually in correlation, an Omega in heat might also trigger a rut. It depends on the level of compatibility."

Great. Once again nature fucks him over. But it means there's a reason why Harry suddenly smells _that_ good. Niall had been compatible with Claire but never like that, with Harry it's more, different. It's fundamental and so incredible feral it makes Niall want to crawl up the walls.

"So what can we do?" His mum is still touching his hair but now he kinda likes it. It calms him down.

"Usually I'd advise you to let the Omega spent the false heat with the Alpha in question because it helps both of them but I can give you a prescription for heat suppressants. It won't end the heat since it already started but it will ease the symptoms down to a minimum."

"Yes, please do that."

Niall pouts. He'd rather spend his time with Harry but when he looks at his mother she gives him a hard look that says _don't argue with me_. Niall doesn't think that she has a problem with Harry, she knows him already. But him and Niall aren't a couple yet, not officially and she _doesn't_ know that Harry broke things off with Taylor. So when they're in the car ten minutes later, he breaks the news to her.

"He left her... for you?" She frowns.

"I guess so. We didn't have much time to talk about it, but... I'd like him to come over, okay? The meds might help me but he's still in a rut and it's probably my fault because it started just after my actual heat."

"Niall," she sighs. "I don't think that is a good idea. I want you to make that decision when you can both think clearly and aren't focused on your instinct to mate."

"Mum," he chokes out. "It's... not like that. You know how I feel about him, how I've always felt about him."

"Yes, I know. But I don't know _his_ feelings and I don't want him near my pup until it's settled."

"Mum. Ma, please," he whines again and squirms a little in his seat. "It's important."

"End of discussion, Niall."

She sounds serious so he shuts up but he isn't happy about it. It's not like they're all rabid during their cycles but his mother is a Beta and as understanding as she is, she still doesn't get it sometimes. Yeah, maybe his body wants to be mounted right now but it always feels like that during a heat and never in his life has he run off to find some Alpha who can knock him up. He just wants to _be_ with Harry and not just his body is aching for him, his heart too. Why can't she understand that?

They make a quick stop at the pharmacy to get the suppressants for Niall and as soon as they're home she hands him a pill and a glass of water.

"Drink everything," she tells him and when Niall stares at her for a few seconds and she doesn't move he realises that she actually wants to make sure he swallows it. What the fuck.

"Fine," he grumbles and places the pill in his mouth before he gulps down the whole thing.

"Good." She says then and tucks him into bed. Niall is a little annoyed. "I'll go back to work now but you'll call me when you don't feel well, alright? I also rang your school so they know you won't come in tomorrow."

"Okay, thanks," he mutters and curls up in his bed.

She places a quick kiss to his sweaty forehead. "I love you, pup."

"Love you too."

When she leaves he can hear her roam around the living room for another five minutes before the front door closes. He waits another minute, just to be sure, then he tugs the pill out from under his tongue and spits it across the room. Well, that was disgusting. But if she thinks he's irrational then she can have irrational. There's no way he'll spent the next few days in bed alone. And once Harry is here she can rage about it but she can't send him away. At least that's his plan... He doesn't know how Harry will feel about it so he fumbles with his phone and sends him a text.

_Doc said my face is fine. U have magical spit, congrats on that. Oh and btw your rut triggered a false heat and now I'm all wet would u mind paying me a visit k thx bye._

That sounds reasonable, doesn't it? Harry must think so too because less than a minute later he's calling him and Niall almost drops his phone like a piece of slippery soap.

" _Are you alone?_ " Harry's voice booms through the phone before Niall can even say hello. He sounds completely out of breath and Niall is pretty sure that he's running.

"Yeah, I'm home and my mum has gone back to work." He's fidgeting on the sheets and closes his eyes when Harry sucks in a sharp breath.

" _Okay, I'm... I'll come over. If you really want me to?_ " God, his voice is so deep. He's already imagining what it will be like, isn't he?

"I appreciate that you're trying to be decent but all I want is you right now." He moans when he slides a hand down his underwear and feels that he's already wet. It's easier to ignore and hold back when you know you can't have the boy you want but now? It's like the flood gates have been opened and he's so ready to come all over Harry like a fucking storm.

" _Shit,_ " Harry curses and Niall can hear him fumble with his phone. " _Don't do that to me, Ni._ "

"'m not doing anything," Niall gasps and shoves a hand down his boxers with the phone still pressed to his ear. "Just touching myself and thinking of you. Wouldn't be the first time. I've thought about you so often, Haz. Couldn't even use my toy during my last heat because I needed the real thing. Needed you. Told Zayn about it and he said I shouldn't worry. He said that you want me too."

Harry makes a strangled noise at the other end of the line. " _Of course I want you. I like you so much, Ni, you know how much, god..._ "

"Hurry up then, yeah?" He breathes.

" _Yeah, see you in a bit. Don't touch yourself until I'm there._ "

Niall moans again after hanging up and rolls over as he pulls his hand back. He's properly burning up now and it feels even worse than during his actual heat. Probably because this time not just his body but also his brain is going nuts. It feels deep fried and leaves no room to think about anything else but Harry. It has never been that bad. Maybe his mum was right. But he doesn't care. 

He rubs the sleeve of his oversized hoodie along his heated face and sighs with his gaze stuck to the ceiling. Every minute feels like an hour and he claws at his face while his feet drum against the sheets in frustration. He wants to touch himself so badly and theoretically Harry wouldn't know if he did. But he can't. It's not necessarily obedience that makes him hold back, it's more like he has been given a challenge and he wants to win it. Harry wouldn't touch himself either and anything else wouldn't be as satisfying anyway.

Then the doorbell finally rings and he's scrambling to his feet, ripping open his bedroom door before he rushes to the entrance. Harry is standing right in front of him with a hand resting on the frame, sucking in huge gulps of air. His hair is even messier and there's sweat all over his face. It's the grossest state Niall has ever seen him in and he never wanted him more than right now. So grabs Harry by the front of his shirt and pulls him inside.

Harry immediately crowds in to kiss Niall and they both let out a whine that sounds a lot like _finally_ as they press their bodies together. Niall had thought that kissing Harry would quench the fire under his skin at least for a moment but that's not happening. A guttural noise rips from his throat when his back hits the wall and Harry deepens the kiss, breathing heavily through his nose. Niall is shivering with the need to be touched, to be claimed, to be loved. It's a good thing then that everything he needs is right here in his arms making loud and wanton sounds that could disturb the neighbours.

God, Niall wants to do so many things to Harry and let him do things to _him_ , too. How much time do they have? He doesn't know, he would need a year or more to stop this constant need, he's sure of that. Still, he tears his mouth away and pushes at Harry's chest until he stumbles backwards, eyes glazed over and so dilated Niall can barely see any green left in them. 

With a grin he sprints into the living room, hearing Harry's quick steps behind him and when he turns around and stops, Harry stops as well. The couch is between them and Harry has two hands on it, watching Niall with wide eyes. He's still out of breath and it's probably not from the strain of running here anymore. Niall did that... He takes two steps to the side and Harry mirrors it. Shit, Niall had just wanted to get to his bedroom, he didn't intend to turn this into a chase. But now that it is, he really likes it. He licks his lips and Harry's eyes immediately flicker down to watch his tongue. 

Niall takes off again. This time he can hear Harry barrel into one of the walls because he's moving too fast and as soon as they reach his room Harry tackles him onto the bed. It dips under their joint weight and Niall can't help but giggle when Harry instantly buries his face in his hoodie, nuzzling and biting at the fabric. It reminds him of the day he had left for Ireland, how Harry didn't want to let go of him. It feels a little like that now and Niall realises that it's not just Harry being possessive like any other Alpha. He is being _needy_. One hand slips under the hem to climb up Niall's spine while the other squeezes his neck.

"Please," Harry groans and the throaty noise sends a new wave of want through Niall's body, makes him jerk against Harry with a sigh. "Please tell me I don't have to hold back. I don't- I don't even know what you like, I don't... I can't, but... god, Niall."

Harry is quivering and Niall can see how badly he needs it, but he doesn't know what to do because all he can think of is _want want want_. It's so endearing and so Harry, it reminds him of the little boy who needed ages to choose something from the menu and eventually stole from everyone's plate so he could have a piece of everything. He wants everything from _Niall_ now and he'll give it to him, one by one.

"Hey, come here," Niall whispers and presses a Kiss to the corner of Harry's mouth before he gives him a proper one with both hands in his hair to keep him still. He's still breathing heavily, his Alpha pheromones leaking through every pore of his body but the kiss seems to calm him down just enough so he doesn't combust on the spot. "Now listen... I want you to take off your clothes for me and then you don't have to wait for anything, don't have to do anything else, you just have to fuck me, okay? All I want is you, so there's nothing you can do wrong. I know how good of an Alpha you can be. You'll be amazing, okay?"

Harry gasps but nods furiously and then pulls away far enough so he can strip out of his clothes. Niall is so busy watching him do it that he almost forgets to peel out of his own. Not that there is much left. He wrenches out of his hoodie gracefully but not so gracefully out of his boxers because everything is already sticky from the amount of slick he has produced and he might've been embarrassed about it if Harry wasn't staring at him like he's the jackpot. 

"What are you waiting for, Haz?"

He's still in his shoes and only half out of his jeans but Niall's words seem to pull him out of his stupor and he kicks them off frantically. He's already hard and Niall's mouth starts to water at the sight of his dick because yeah fuck, it's definitely a nice one, all curved and red and exactly what Niall had imagined it would be like.

"Okay." Harry swallows and crawls up Niall's body with his nose and lips brushing against his skin, scenting him. It gives Niall more shivers and he's really desperate so he grabs Harry's face with both hands and pulls him up to kiss him again. Harry instantly melts into it and grabs at Niall's thighs when he feels them spread underneath him. They'll probably regret this position as soon as they're locked together but Niall doesn't want to turn over, he wants to be able to touch Harry, to look at him and see what this is doing to both of them.

"Can I? Please?" Harry whimpers and rolls his hips. The flat of his cock rubs over Niall's slick hole and god, how can he still be so polite and decent? But Harry asking for permission like that gets him even more wet than Harry being a brat and stealing his food. 

"Yeah, yes, of course, come on."

When Harry finally pushes in they both moan in relief. He bottoms out easily, plunging deep until Niall feels full.

"Fuck," he gasps and wraps both of his arms and legs around Harry when he starts thrusting into Niall without any restraint.

And it feels so, so good. Every time Harry pulls out and presses in again Niall feels his insides flutter with delight and want and need, everything at the same time. It's still not enough though. He digs the heels of his feet into Harry's back to urge him on it seems to work because Harry lets out a pleased growl and fucks into him harder, fingers pressing hard into Niall's waist so he stays in place.

"Yes," Niall hisses and closes his eyes. 

He tries to move his hips and meet Harry's thrusts but it's all messy because they can't think straight and they laugh at each other's clumsy attempts to set a pacing. Maybe it doesn't work like that. So Niall decides to let go for once, to let Harry take the control that he needs to get them both up to the peak. 

He never let himself drop into Omega space before. It's what Alphas expect him to do and he hates that. Claire had been kind and tried to treat him well but deep down she always wanted him to submit like a good Omega. It's what always held him back from giving in. Baring his body and soul would've meant nothing but a triumph to her and everyone else. To them it's just a big fat “I told you so”, not a gift and certainly not his decision. But Harry doesn't expect it from him, he never did. He only ever sees Niall as a person and is happy with whatever Niall is giving him. No expectations whatsoever. So when Niall offers his throat to Harry it only makes him growl in gratitude before he latches on to it. Niall gasps and squeezes around him, causing Harry to snap his hips with a groan and yes, that's exactly what he wants. 

Niall feels good, he feels safe, and that's why he can let himself explore that side. Because he and Harry? They're just the same, they get each other. Harry isn't as dominant as society wants him to be either. So when instincts kick in and for once they both submit to the cliché then it's fine. They know.

"Haz," he slurs into the Alpha's ear and buries both hands in his hair, enjoying the way he gasps against Niall's neck. "More..."

"Fuck," Harry whimpers and stops briefly because they're too close to the headboard already with their ruthless and uncoordinated fucking. He slides both hands around Niall's thighs to pull him down again and Niall yelps when Harry shoves in even deeper, not that he thought it was possible. _Fuck_. Harry quickly lowers himself on his elbows again, picking up the pace he had started earlier. No wait, it's way deeper this time and he hits a spot inside of Niall that makes him see stars behind his eyes as he ruts into him, raw and fast. God, Niall can already feel the swollen base of his cock, not big enough to lock them together yet but it stretches him further, makes him dig his nails into Harry's scalp as his feet scratch along the sheets in pleasure. 

Harry responds to everything Niall does, fucking him as hard as he needs it because he can feel what his Omega craves. And the sweet sounds Harry makes when Niall yanks at his hair are so delicious, Niall can't help but kiss him. It's a sloppy one, all tongue and lips barely closed because they both need to breathe and then Niall bites down on Harry's lip, hard, until he draws blood. Harry almost loses it and slides his hands back down to Niall's legs with a feral grunt, pulling him in every time he jerks his hips forwards. It causes those luscious, slick sounds between them that have Niall curl his toes.

"Harry," Niall pants against his mouth with hooded eyes. "Need your knot. Need you... Need you to breed me."

He flushes at his own words but can't bring himself to regret them when Harry squeezes his eyes shut with a string of curses tumbling from his mouth. He's thrusting into Niall two, three, four more times before his knot is big enough to lock them together. It's the moment he comes too, with Harry filling him up and groaning into his skin, with his own nose buried in Harry's hair. Niall can't even tell anymore what he smells like. It's all blurred and fuzzy around the edges, making him feel home again. It's like being with his pack, with all of them, but so much stronger. That's why it takes ages until he can think again, until they both calm down from their highs and Harry's whole body gives in, collapsing on top of Niall. It's heavy but surprisingly pleasant and he never wants to move.

The room grows quiet again, save for their slowly steadying breaths. The fire dies down for now but Niall is still not ready to emerge from his Omega space. He wants to stay a little longer because here he doesn't have to worry about anything and he doesn't have to fight, he can just exist. And why does all of it feel so new? Neither of them are amateurs in this and yet they act like them, discovering everything for the first time. But maybe that's just Harry, making everything feel special, like it's his first time all over again. Niall wishes it could be. For the first time he doesn't just think about what it would've been like if he hadn't left, he longs for it. He would've been with his pack, with Harry. They probably would've been together as soon as Niall presented, because it's just obvious, isn't it? They were always meant to be together and Niall won't let anyone take Harry away from him ever again. He'll fight with teeth and claws and he won't let go.

That's why he moves his hands down into Harry's neck, angling their heads so they can kiss and it's so perfect that he can't help it, he starts to cry.

"Wha-" Harry pushes himself back on his elbows to look down at him. "Did I hurt you?"

"No," he shakes his head and quickly wipes the tears away. "I'm just happy, you idiot."

Harry's face softens immediately, releasing the worry to make room for something so affectionate it makes him want to keep crying. 

"Ni," he murmurs softly and presses kiss after kiss after kiss to his lips. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry it took me so long. Should've made the choice sooner, I just couldn't believe that you'd want me too. You're so out of my league."

Niall doesn't kiss back when he adds that last bit and stares up at Harry, incredulously. "Seriously? _You_ thought I was out of your league?"

Harry smiles. "You're so amazing, Niall... You don't even know how much I want you, how much I _always_ wanted you, even when I was too little to understand. And the way everyone looks at you at school? Not all of them only want to get into your pants. They admire you..."

"Hm." Niall closes his eyes, not really able to get back into his head yet and give a witty answer. "But I only want you."

"I want no one else either," Harry mutters and kisses Niall again, softer this time. 

Once again, he just knows what Niall needs. He drags their lips together with a pleased hum, licks over his teeth the way they both like it and it lures him back, sets his mind right again. It's hard to climb out of one's Omega space without an Alpha and maybe that's another reason for why he never let himself do it. He doesn't trust anyone but Harry to guide him. Harry is the one who lead him out of the Aquarium, out of the shack. It's Harry who always makes sure that he can breathe.

So Niall takes a deep breath and kisses him back.

*

There's a bit of a chaos when his mother returns a few hours later. They had taken a long shower because they were both gross and sticky after Harry's knot had loosened, so they're still naked with wet hair everywhere and rolling in the sheets when they hear the front door. Of course Niall doesn't get the chance to explain because even as a Beta, she knows what a heat and a rut smells like. The whole flat must reek of them.

They quickly cover their bodies with one of Niall's blankets and then grab at each other because yeah, a Beta's wrath is still a mother's wrath. And she does look angry, _oh boy_. She squints at them with one hand on the door handle and Niall can feel Harry tremble.

"Hello, Mrs. Horan," he says carefully but Niall still wants to die because Harry definitely sounds like he just had amazing sex. Which wouldn't bother Niall if it wasn't his mother hearing it.

"Harry," she says flatly. "How nice to see you again."

"Mum-"

"I should've checked your mouth," she sighs. "But I guess it's too late now. I'll prepare some food and bring you enough water before I go to bed. I still have my earplugs somewhere and _you_ ," she points at Niall, "will have to answer to me when this is over."

"Okay." He chews on his lips and waits until she has left the room before he relaxes again. "Fuck."

"What was that?" Harry whispers, like he's scared she'll hear him. "She didn't know?"

"The doctor gave me heat suppressants so I can spend it with lessened symptoms. My mum insisted that I take them. Um, I spat them out as soon as she left."

Harry tries not to grin but fails. "You're just doing whatever you want, aren't you?"

Niall shrugs. "I know what I want."

And before Harry can ask _what_ exactly he wants, Niall kisses him, because it's obvious. 

"God," Harry sighs in the brief moment before their lips meet again. "I love you so much."

"Love you too, Haz. Always have, you know that." He combs his fingers through the wets strands of his hair and pulls him closer.

Harry whimpers and kisses along his cheek, his jaw, and settles into the crook of his neck where the scent is the strongest. "And you always smell so good, Ni. Why? It's so unfair. Could always smell you everywhere and... I've missed this so much."

"What do I smell like?" Niall asks and closes his eyes. Travis couldn't really tell back then, he just said 'sweet' because Betas only have simple words to describe scents. Claire was an Alpha though and she said he smelled of flowers and rainbows.... whatever the fuck that meant.

"Cotton candy and spring," Harry answers without even thinking about it and rubs his nose over Niall's glands. He's already sweaty again with the heat still burning under his skin. "Like that day our parents took all of us to the carnival. It was a sunny day, everything was sweet and fruity and smelled like you. I went there with the pack when we missed you too much. It smells like home. You do. So perfect, it's scary sometimes."

Niall chokes on his own feelings that start to bubble up in his throat. "The things you say, _fuck_. I can't believe you're mine."

"Never been anything else," Harry whispers. "You said so yourself."

He did. And he had meant it. "It's true. And I'm yours, okay?"

Harry shivers. "Okay."

They kiss for what feels like hours, tongues sliding together, licking over lips and teeth. They could easily go another round but somehow they take their time and wait for it to build up until they're aching for it again. It's like a game and they're both enjoying it too much. Besides, there's still nothing better than kissing Harry. The way he moulds himself around Niall, like he's kissing him with his whole body. It makes his heart almost spring out of his chest and his skin tingles in a way it does with no one else. It's mind-blowing because usually kissing never is just kissing. All Alphas try to get their hands into the back of his trousers and use kissing as a form of foreplay. But not Harry. Even when they're naked and Harry's in a rut he kisses Niall like it's enough, like he wants _him_ and not his arse. It's beautiful, how roughly they fuck but how tenderly Harry loves him. Niall wonders how he hasn't combusted yet. _Too much is never enough, too much is never enough_ , he chants in his head and opens his mouth to Harry's tongue.

They fall asleep soon after that, not just because a heat and a rut is that exhausting, it's also that they're finally able to relax. So they curl around each other the way they always do, with Harry' face pressed into Niall's chest and his hands in Harry's hair. 

That is not how Niall wakes up though. 

It's in the middle of the night and he's on his stomach with Harry's heavy breath in his neck. He can barely open his eyes, his brain still muddled with sleep and yet the heat keeps him awake. He's wet, incredibly wet and Harry has his hands between Niall's legs, making begging and keening noises.

"Need you, Niall, please let me. Need you so much."

Niall just nods against the sheets and moves onto his knees so Harry can fuck him properly. It's messy and rough and Niall can't even say anything with Harry's harsh thrusts pressing the air out of his lungs. But it's perfect, exactly what he needs, what they both need to get it out of their systems. Everything is just instinct and he pushes back on Harry's cock with a moan, not once thinking about the fact that his mum is still in the flat. All that's in his head is Harry and the way the bed protests underneath them with the headboard banging against the wall. 

Harry knots him quickly this time and Niall's coming all over himself with slick dripping down his thighs. He didn't know it could be like that, so intense and so satisfying. Harry is just doing everything right and he's probably not even trying too hard. 

"Shit, Ni... You feel so good," Harry whispers a few minutes later and nuzzles at Niall's shoulder. "Want you always."

"Yeah... same." He chuckles when Harry nips at him with a soft growl, like he's expecting more praise.

"Niall," he complains.

"What do you wanna hear, Haz? I've only come twice so far."

"I'll make you come so many times," Harry purrs and suddenly jerks his hips, causing the knot to sink deeper.

" _Fuck_ ," Niall yelps and slams one hand down on the sheets. "Fuck, you can't just-"

"Can't what? Never been fucked on a knot?"

"Wha-?" All words get lost in another curse when Harry shifts his hips. No, he definitely hasn't been fucked like that before, why would anyone think this is a good idea? Obviously Harry thinks it is because he's moving again, slowly but firmly and it's too much, definitely too much. The knot is rubbing against his inner walls, setting all his nerves on fire and making him squirm. "Haz, Hazza, I can't. _I can't_ , oh god."

"You can, trust me. If you really can't just say 'no' but I know you can."

"Haz..." He scrabbles at the sheets like he's trying to get away but it's not like it doesn't feel good, no it's just _too_ good and Harry knows it. 

He can't even say whether he's having another orgasm or not, or if it ever stopped. What is this? It's driving him insane and then Harry's hand is sliding over his side and pressing against his abdomen, like he's trying to feel himself there and... fuck, that's it. He's coming again, all dry and so hard his eyes roll back as he bites into his pillow. It's shaking him to the bone and he cries out Harry's name over and over again until it stops. And it doesn't stop for a long time.

"See?" Harry whispers to him. "I just want to make you feel good."

"Fuck," Niall moans and turns his head. "You did, so good. Knew you were the perfect Alpha, didn't I? Never felt that good. Ever. Fuck, Haz."

Harry sighs at the praise and ducks his head back into Niall's neck, breathing him in. Niall decides right then and there that Harry is mad and that it's one of the things he loves about him. It will never get boring with them.

*

A phone and its frantic vibrations wake them eventually. 

Harry groans. "Turn it off."

"It's not mine," Niall mumbles and rubs his eyes. 

The sound is coming from the floor, so it's probably Harry's phone still stuck in his pocket. But Harry just keeps complaining so Niall reaches over the edge of the bed and grabs for it.

"Can I?" He asks and Harry just nods with his eyes closed. "It's your phone." He nods again. "Okay." Niall shrugs and swipes over the screen. There are tons of messages from their pack mates and one in their group chat. Weird, Niall's phone should've made noises too then. Or maybe the battery died. It's just all of them asking where Harry is and Niall has to laugh because he probably forgot to tell them.

"They want to know where you are, it's past ten... You probably should be in school."

Now Harry finally blinks his eyes open and gazes at Niall. "What? Oh... Yeah, but I'm allowed to be absent when my mate is in heat." Mate. The word makes Niall's soul tingle.

"They don't know that though. You should tell them." 

Harry sighs but smiles and props himself up on his elbow before he picks his phone from Niall's hand. "Let's take a selfie."

"A selfie?"

"Yes!"

He scoots closer and drapes one arm around Niall's shoulder while he uses the other to hold the phone away as far as possible. Their cheeks are pressed together, faces still hot and red and their hair a mess from sleeping in a pile of limbs. They beam into the camera long enough for Harry to take the shot and then they promptly burst into giggles for no particular reason. They're just happy, aren't they?

Harry sends the picture into the group chat and then they both just wait, Niall staring at the screen with his chin pressed into Harry's shoulder. Soon the thinking bubbles appear and of course it's Louis who answers first.

_Louis: FUCKING_

_Zayn: disgustingly cute_

_Louis: FINALLY_

_Liam: I hope you're using protection, we're not ready to become uncles_

_Zayn: Isn't Niall on birth control_

_Louis: How the fuck do u know that??_

_Zayn: Because Niall likes me best, I know everything_

Harry snorts.

_Louis: NOT ANYMORE!!! you better pay up babe_

_Liam: Don't pretend we had a bet, I told you I wouldn't bet on them._

_Louis: But u said when they fuck u would buy ice cream_

_Liam: FOR ME NOT FOR YOU_

_Louis: Heartbroken. Blocked. Deleted._

_Zayn: I'll buy you ice cream Lou_

_Louis: THANK YOU! At least someone who loves me_

Harry shakes his head and reaches over Niall to drop the phone back on the floor. "Now they know." But he doesn't pull back, he stays on top of Niall and grins at him. 

Niall grins back. "Good. What now?"

"Now I want to eat you out until you come."

Niall chokes on his own spit. "Okay."

*

Niall's false heat breaks a few days later, a little after Harry's rut dissolves. It was the most intense heat Niall had ever experienced and he's relieved in a way because his body is so fucking sore and his thighs are still throbbing. Harry looks as pleasantly exhausted as Niall feels, curled up in Niall's sheets with his nose buried in the pillow. Niall _has_ to kiss him, his cheek, his forehead and enjoys how sweetly he smiles.

"Stop," Harry mumbles but with no real heat.

"Want me to stop kissing you?"

"No, 'course not," he says and pulls Niall into a hug. 

"Mh..." Niall presses his lips to Harry's neck. It's completely covered in bruises and bite marks and it makes him feel hot every time he looks at them. "I wish I hadn't left back then. Could've had this ages ago."

But Harry doesn't answer and they keep dozing a little longer until Niall finally forces himself to get up. 

"I'll take a quick shower."

He doesn't ask Harry to join him because he meant it when he said _quick_ and nothing ever is _quick_ when they're together. It feels good to wash all the sweat away but he'll definitely have to scent Harry again when he's done. Niall wants to smell more like him and him to smell like Niall. So he quickly rinses his hair and jumps out of shower before he dries himself off. After taking a look into the mirror he is surprised to see that the scratches have gotten a lot paler and when he prods at them it doesn't even hurt anymore. _Magical spit, I'm telling you_.

With a pleased sigh he slips into the clothes he brought, just a top and some comfortable leggings, and then he tries to get his wet hair into a shape that doesn't make him look ten years younger. When he's satisfied and leaves the bathroom he almost jumps out of his skin because his mother is standing right in front of him.

"Ma", he gasps and holds on to the door frame. "Don't scare me like that."

"Your heat is over, isn't it?" She doesn't seem upset anymore but that doesn't mean she's happy.

"Um, yes."

"Then sit down with me for a moment."

She leads him into the kitchen where two cups of tea are waiting and Niall is a little scared now because the last time she made him tea like that he was ten years old and she told him he had to leave London and his pack behind. So he carefully sits down on the chair and hugs one knee to his chest while he watches his mother sip on her tea. He doesn't touch his own.

"So," she starts and lowers her cup. "Will you tell me now why you disobeyed me like that?"

Niall sighs. "Because it wasn't about my heat or Harry's rut. I mean, obviously it was but I didn't want to let that chance pass to be with him. He's everything, Ma. I think you know it as well as I do and it won't change anything now."

She fixes him with a steady gaze. "I understand your feelings and I believe they're genuine but I'm really disappointed in you. We don't always see eye to eye but you've never abused my trust like that. If that's what Harry's making you do then-"

"Mum!" He slumps forward and grips the edge of the table with both hands, looking at her with wide eyes. He realises now that this isn't about Harry. It's about him lying to her. "I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to hurt you, I just... I'm sorry."

"Are you really?"

"Yes," he says. "I'm not sorry that I got to be with Harry. But I _am_ sorry that I lied to you."

She takes a deep breath and puts down her tea cup with a nod. "Alright. I believe you. I guess it will be no use to ground you because that never worked with you anyway. But from now on you will call or text me whenever you're leaving and I want to know when you're home. I don't want to worry about you anymore."

Niall nods and rises from his chair to hug his mother and kiss her cheek. "I promise. And I'm really sorry."

"Alright," she pats his arm. "You can go back to your room now."

He smiles at her and then skips all the way back, only to be met with a dressed Harry who looks like he's about to leave.

"Um." Harry looks at Niall and zips up the leather jacket he had left here the night he came through the window. "Hey."

Niall closes the door behind him with a frown. "Don't tell me you wanted to sneak out?"

"I..." He points at the window for a second and then at Niall, nervously. "I just thought-"

"Oh god." Horror seeps through him and not just his heart, everything inside of him drops. "Please don't tell me you regret what happened and changed your mind."

"No!" Harry takes a step forward. "No, I don't regret anything. These were the best days of my life, I'm not kidding."

Niall swallows. "Then what is this, Harry?"

He still looks like a mess and wanted to leave without even taking a shower. He wanted to sneak out without letting Niall know. It fucking hurts and Harry just stands there, looking at the floor like it's holding the right answer.

"It's... it's been a lot. Overwhelming." He stops again.

Niall can't take it any longer and crosses the room so he can at least touch Harry. He doesn't pull away from Niall's hands on his cheeks. "Haz... talk to me. You _can_ talk to me, I'm listening, I always will."

Harry growls and shakes his head. "Yeah, _now_ ," he says bitterly.

Niall slowly lets go of Harry's face but doesn't step away. Harry is angry for some reason and Niall doesn't know what this is about. _He_ hasn't been the one who didn't want to leave Taylor.

"What do you mean? Is this still about Taylor?"

"No." Harry tears at his own hair and turns away. "No, it's not about her, it never was, it... just... You're here _now_ but..."

It begins to dawn on Niall that Harry is angry and frustrated and honestly? Niall had expected it a lot sooner, right after their reunion, actually. It has been eating at Harry, hasn't it? And he didn't tell Niall, which makes him furious.

"You can say it, you know?" He pulls Harry back in by his arm until he's facing Niall. "Stop lying, stop being a coward, just say it."

Harry looks at him like he's feeling sick to his stomach but he blurts it out anyway. "I've been angry. So angry... I hated you." Niall nods, encouraging him to go on, even though the words hurt. "I know we were both young but I still hated you for leaving and I didn't answer the phone on purpose. I hated you because you got new friends and I knew you'd forget about me. But then you stopped calling and the letter came back and I thought... I thought that's my punishment. The others were mostly worried but I was so furious. I told them you'd come back because whatever you think I'm still the Alpha and I have to take care of my pack. But in my heart I knew... I... I didn't believe you'd actually come home."

Harry looks miserable and Niall wants nothing more than to hold him, but he can see that it's not everything, that there is more.

"I am back now," Niall says hesitantly. When they had been at Liam's place and Niall had burst into tears because he was scared that they'd hate him... Harry had been the only one who didn't deny it. He said they shouldn't talk about the past but that clearly had been a mistake. Perhaps Harry hadn't wanted to be angry but he _is_. "I'm back and it wasn't my decision to leave in the first place. I'm sorry I didn't stay in touch with you but it's nothing that can be changed now. All I can promise is that it won't happen again. I'm almost of age and then no one can drag me off to another country."

"I know," Harry hisses and tries to turn away again but this time Niall reaches out to him with both hands.

"Then why are you still like this?" He digs his nails into the sleeves of Harry's leather jacket and they stare at each other, both livid now.

"Just let it go, Niall. It's over. I just need a few days to calm down."

"No." his voice is firm. "I want to respect your boundaries but you're still hiding something and I want to know what it is. Don't shut me out."

"Niall..." Harry looks like he's about to break and Niall's grip tightens. 

" _What_ are you so fucking afraid of?" He almost yells.

It seems to hit right where it was supposed to because Harry's whole face changes and suddenly he's pressing his forehead against Niall's, hard.

"You," Harry grits through his teeth. "I'm afraid of _you_ , Niall. The way you make me feel, who wouldn't be scared of that? When they removed the cyst from my chest the pain didn't stop, you know? But I didn't tell anyone about it because I knew there was nothing any doctor could do. The pain had started when they dragged you off to the car and it hasn't stopped ever since, not until I saw you in the canteen, bashing in an Alpha's face like you were born for it. God, you were like a force of nature, turning everything else into meaningless bullshit and how am I supposed to handle that? The pain had become a part of me and you... you just come back and make me... me again. I haven't been myself in a long time and I don't know this person, I don't know him! This," he backs off and claws at the front of his jacket with both hands, "this fucking person who is so happy and wants to go on his knees for you, who wants to touch you all the time. Am I the only one feeling this?"

"No," Niall chokes out. "Of course not." Harry has just poured out his fucking heart, finally, without any lies or self-censoring. He has said it and it makes Niall's heart swell, even though he knows how much it must've hurt him. Niall can feel an echo of the pain in his own chest, tying them together with a string of gold and red light. "But why are you afraid of it?"

"Fuck," Harry sighs and slumps over, hands resting on his knees as he takes deep breaths. "I just... I'm angry yeah, but I'm also... so happy, Niall. I'm happy and I don't know how to deal with being happy, not anymore."

Niall swallows and can't hold back, he needs to touch Harry, needs him to know that he's here. He rakes his fingers through Harry's curly and unwashed hair and smiles when the Alpha whimpers and leans into the touch.

"You're not alone, you know?" He mutters softly.

Harry exhales loudly and then pulls away. "Please don't touch me right now or I'll pounce you like a fucking animal." He walks backwards, where the window is.

Niall follows him with a pathetic whimper. "Don't run away, Harry. You don't have to. Just stay."

"Why?"

"I... I know the ache. I just hadn't realised it until I was back. I had to be strong, for my parents, for myself, for everyone. The whole world is trying to smother me but I can breathe when I'm near you, okay?"

"Shit," Harry grunts and buries his face in both hands. "I love you, okay? I just need to sort myself out, give me a few days, I... I gotta go."

Niall lets him. Not because he's tired of running after him, that's not it. This is not like the thing with Taylor, this is about Harry, about _them_. With Harry it's always rough and soft, warm and cold, it's all at once. He is the rich, lush earth and Niall could never choose a season, it's everything, it's perfect. Still, Niall doesn't feel broken when Harry flees through the window because he's never been fragile in the first place. Harry though? He may be an Alpha but he's so very soft on the inside, so vulnerable and maybe it's Niall's job to tell him that it's okay. 

He already knows how to say it as he walks back to his bed, grabbing his notebook from the floor. He hums a bittersweet melody as he flicks through the pages, looking for the last entry, his favourite pen already between his fingers. He has a song to finish.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this makes up for a few things :'D There's lots of stuff to deal with and we're finally getting there! Feedback is still very much appreciated <3  
> AND THANKS AGAIN TO MY WONDERFUL FRIEND, SISTER AND PARTNER IN CRIME, WHO ALWAYS HELPS ME CHECK FOR TYPOS. YOU'RE THE BEST.
> 
> And in case you missed it: my new sideblog! <https://squishyharold.tumblr.com/>


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter took a while because it became longer than I thought and also I was waking up at 6AM all week to watch Harry on the Late Late Show so please forgive me <3

Niall is resting half on top of Louis with his feet draped over Zayn's lap and Liam stroking his back. Louis is pressing soft kisses along his forehead and Niall slowly relaxes under their gentle hands. It's Friday and they spend their lunch break under the old tree again, not giving a fuck about people staring at them, they don't know what pack means. Harry isn't with them though, he's skipping school and spending his time at Liam's place, at least that's what the Beta had said.

"Don't think he went home yesterday, he came straight to my house," Liam explains and rubs his nose along Niall's spine. "He's holing up in my room and he was quite exhausted."

"Yeah well, that's what a rut does to you," Niall mumbles and closes his eyes when Louis purrs into his hair.

"He's such a drama queen," Liam sighs. "But we should've known it would happen."

"I'm not angry with him." Niall reaches down to touch Liam. "I just wish he had talked to me sooner. Or to you..."

"Remember how I told you he's different with you?" Zayn pipes up while his hand gently strokes Niall's calf. "All soft and needy?"

Niall nods. To him Harry is still the same boy but maybe that's not who he was for the last seven years that Niall had missed. Considering his words from yesterday, with all the bottled up rage and fear, it's no surprise that he's breaking now. It doesn't mean he's falling completely apart but Niall still wants to catch him and tell him that there's nothing to be afraid of. He is not alone and he doesn't just have Niall, there's also Zayn who lets him go all Alpha sometimes and wrestles with him when he needs it. There's also Liam who takes Harry's place when he needs to step back and Louis of course, who shares his silly humour. They are a pack and it pains Niall that his absence was enough to turn Harry into something that he isn't.

"He was scared to show that side of him to anyone, even us sometimes," Zayn continues. "I think for Alphas it's harder to be apart from their pack mates and when you left it really fucked with his brain. He thought he had to be a different person in order to keep us together."

"Didn't even matter when we told him that we wouldn't be leaving," Louis adds with his lips still against Niall's hairline. "We didn't understand why he was acting like that. _He_ was the one who always told us you'd come back."

"He didn't believe it," Niall says quietly. "He said it but he didn't believe it."

Zayn sighs loudly. "Such an idiot. I can't believe that's the Alpha of our pack. Can't believe we love him so much."

"That's the problem, he's still great." Liam stops with his hands and rests his head on Niall's back instead. "Think we would all die for him."

"Because he'd die for us too," Zayn agrees.

"Well," Louis hums, "he _could_ use a haircut."

"No," Niall growls immediately and his instinct makes him snap and bite the thing that's closest to his teeth. Which happens to be Louis' neck.

" _Ah!_ " He squirms in the grass and Niall realises immediately that he's been a little too rough so he quickly lets go and licks over the bite while making apologetic noises.

Liam is just laughing at them. "Louis, don't act like you can't take it."

"Shut up, Niall has a sick jaw," he hisses and rubs over the sore spot. "But that's okay."

Niall laughs. "Thanks."

"You sure you wanna do it then?" Zayn asks and lets his hand trail up Niall's leg to smooth over Liam's hair. "Tomorrow?"

"Yeah," Niall says and closes his eyes again when Louis pulls him back into his arms. "Open mic night at the pub is my only chance, I think. You could bring your guitar too, Zee."

Niall can hear him chuckle. "Nah. I'd just ruin your performance."

*

Here's the thing: Niall and Zayn aren't actually old enough to be at the pub and drink. The other thing is that it's almost impossible to get a time slot for open mic night it's one of the most popular events. It's even less easy when you're trying to get a slot one day before it starts. They really tried _everything_ ("No Louis, you're not giving him a blow job" – "But I'm _good_ at that!") and in the end it's Zayn who is successful. 

"I still wanna know how you did that," Louis says when they sit down at the table. Liam and Harry aren't here yet but Liam had promised to drag their Alpha out of the house. 

"I can be charming when I want to." Zayn shrugs.

"You're the best." Niall beams at him and presses a wet kiss to his cheek.

"What a disgusting display of affection in public," Louis mock gasps. "What would your parents say?"

Zayn just grins and pulls him in by his neck, long dark fingers against pale skin. 

"They'd say Niall is a nice Omega but I should stick with my boyfriends," he mutters against Louis' lips and then kisses him.

Niall watches how Louis' attitude slowly crumbles and makes room for a genuine smile that parts for Zayn's tongue. Their kiss is slow but intense and Niall can already tell that they've forgotten he's here. Those are the best kind of kisses, aren't they? When everything zeroes in on the one person (or two) that you want to be with. But when their kiss grows a little more heated and Zayn already moves his legs to climb into Louis' lap, Niall grabs him by the hem of his shirt.

"Well _I_ don't have any problems with public display affection but I think the pub owner might when you start to make out on his table."

Louis makes an unhappy noise when Zayn pulls away, "just one more," and then tugs him close again, roughly.

Niall shakes his head at them but smiles fondly. He's glad that their parents just accept the relationship they have going on, no matter how many people are involved. He knows his mother will show the same amount of support for him and Harry as soon as she stops worrying about him so much.

"Now," Zayn pushes at Louis chest. "You should get Niall and me a pint since we can't buy them ourselves."

Louis exaggerates a shocked face. "What kind of role model would I be if I was buying alcohol for minors?"

Zayn and Niall frown at him. "Role model?" They ask in unison.

Louis gives them his best Cheshire cat grin. "good point." Then he gets up.

"Sometimes I forget that he can also be incredible empathetic and mature," Zayn sighs with his chin resting on his folded arms as he watches Louis move through the crowd.

"He has many layers," Niall agrees. "Like Shrek."

They both burst into giggles and throw their arms around each other when the pub door opens and Liam walks in, dragging a shy looking Harry behind him. Niall immediately straightens his back and looks at him, smiling when Harry meets his eyes.

"There we go," Liam says and lets go of Harry's hand before he presses down on Harry's shoulder to make him sit next to Niall. "Where's Tommo?"

"Getting us a pint," Zayn answers before Liam bends down to kiss him.

"Okay," Liam says afterwards. "I'll go help him."

Niall quickly shifts his attention to Harry. Harry, who is chewing on his lips as his eyes roam Niall's body. He isn't going to lie, he has chosen this outfit for a reason. He's wearing his snapback backwards as usual, only a few stray hairs peeking out of it but he knows that Harry loves it, just like the red tank top he has chosen. A few people have already been staring at him but the only eyes he cares about are Harry's. The Alpha apparently had a similar idea because he's wearing his green headband and has rolled up the sleeves of his black shirt to show off his arms. That's the way _Niall_ likes it. 

"Hey," Niall finally says.

"Hey," Harry murmurs softly and shifts his body so he's facing Niall properly. "Are you alright?"

Niall nods and it's not a lie. He's fine, he really is. 

"I am. I just missed you."

Harry draws in a shaky breath. "I missed you too."

It's good to hear that. He's obviously still struggling with himself but Niall is glad that he came and doesn't think about breaking things off. Harry has a right to be angry but Niall hopes that it is something temporary, something that he can help him with. After all there are two ways into someone's heart: music and food. Usually Niall is all about food but this time he thinks he should try a different route. Harry has always loved it when Niall was singing to him so maybe it will help him understand his situation. _Their_ situation. 

"Let's get drunk, mates." 

Liam and Louis return with pints for everyone and Niall immediately takes a huge gulp. He'll need some courage before he goes on stage. There is some mindless chatter until the first artist starts to play their music but Niall is very much aware of Harry's presence next to him. It's like he's radiating so much warmth that Niall can feel it on his naked arm and shoulder. He wants to lean against him, wants to touch him somehow, so after a while he shifts in his seat to catch Harry's eye.

"Can I hold your hand? Just for a little while?" He tries his best puppy eyes which he has never actually used on Harry before because it wasn't necessary. Harry had always given him what he wanted.

"Of course," Harry says after a moment and reaches over to cover Niall's sweaty fingers that are nervously rubbing over his thigh. He stops fidgeting then and turns his hand so they can lace their fingers together. Niall feels instantly better and gives Harry a happy smile. Harry doesn't smile back. "Please don't think I don't want to be with you. It's just that I still feel like I can't trust myself."

"That's okay. It's okay, Harry." 

He nods but Niall can tell that the words didn't really reach him. That's why he hopes his song will. 

"Hey handsome!" An Alpha suddenly appears between them with a confident grin and Niall already fears the worst but then the guy turns to Harry and tugs at one of his curls. "Can I buy you a drink or something?"

Harry stares up at him with a confused frown and Niall can barely contain his amusement. The Alpha definitely wants to strip Harry down to his underwear and kiss him all over, he knows that look well enough.

"What?" Harry is still baffled.

The Alpha lets out a charming laugh that Niall would've loved in a world where Harry Styles doesn't exist. But he does, so it does nothing for him.

"Should I be more blunt? I'm trying to talk you into my bed." His eyes flicker back and forth between Harry and Niall. "Or is that your boyfriend?"

Harry quickly raises his hand that is still linked with Niall's from under the table and the Alpha makes a disappointed sound. "Oh well." Then he grins. "Care for a threesome?"

"Sorry," Niall says firmly and squeezes Harry's hand. "This one's mine."

The Alpha blinks at him, probably not used to an Omega making a public claim like that. He's also checking Harry's neck for a bond mark but all he sees are the bruises Niall has left there two days ago. Niall holds his gaze for another five seconds before the Alpha puts on a polite smile.

"Alright. Have a nice evening."

Then he dives back into the crowd and Louis bursts into a laugh.

"Oh my god," he wheezes. "You should've seen your face, Harry."

"Shut up." Harry glares at him.

"Don't tell me this is the first time an Alpha hit on you," Niall asks with a raised eyebrow.

"Well... it's not exactly common." Harry blushes a little and tries to hide it with a sip from his pint.

"It's because you're beautiful," Niall blurts out without thinking. He doesn't know how much he's allowed to say or do at the moment.

But Harry doesn't yell at him, doesn't smile either but his fingers squeeze Niall's just a little bit harder. They'll be fine, won't they? Gods he hopes they'll be fine. He watches Harry's profile when he lowers his glass and lets his tongue dart out to catch the drops on his upper lip. There's a slight frown tugging at his eyebrows, barely there but it tells Niall that he's not completely comfortable. He hopes it's not him who makes him feel that way. 

"Our next artist is called 'Niall Horan', please give him a warm welcome everybody!"

The crowd starts to applaud and cheer for him even though he hasn't even played his song yet. He beams anyway and gets up from his chair, lifting one hand to indicate that he's here and that he just needs a second to get ready.

"Niall?" Harry stares up at him all confused and Niall thinks it's adorable.

"I'll be back in a few minutes," he tells him and kisses their joined fingers before he tries to disengage his own from Harry's tight grip. 

It's hard, because Harry doesn't really want to let go and makes an irritated noise. But Liam quickly drapes an arm around his shoulder and nudges his hair with his nose, whispering something into his ear. It seems to calm Harry down, at least enough to drop his hand. Niall smiles at Harry one last time and then turns to Zayn who hands him his guitar case that they've been hiding under the table. It's black and covered with stickers from various bands and the Irish flag. It's the only thing he had really wanted to bring back home. 

It feels a little heavy, now that he's carrying it up the stage and the guy who had announced him offers him a hand but he declines. Not because he's too proud but because he doesn't need it. It might be a little harder but if he can still do it, he'll do it. That's basically his view on life.

"Okay," he croaks into mic after sitting down on the chair, guitar in his lap with an easy smile. 

A few people already whistle at him and if he was still sitting at his table he would've glared them down. But strangely enough, being on stage, even if it's a small one, makes him feel untouchable. More confident even. He doesn't even feel the need to introduce his song or tell them what it's about. It doesn't have a title anyway, in his head it was just called 'HarryandNiall'. Nothing more and nothing less. That's why he starts the song without any explanation, strumming his guitar with his eyes downcast. He knows the melody by heart, just like the words. He had started to write this song almost seven years ago, after he had left Ireland and lost contact with his pack. He has added more words since then and each time the song had grown more mature, more intense. 

It starts with memories of their childhood, so innocent, so pure, turning into something bitter, something that yearns. It's about himself, really, and the way he has missed Harry and his pack. About trying to become a person they'd be proud of. Someone worthy of Harry's smile. He describes that smile in great detail, how it gets bigger and bigger until his nose scrunches and his eyes crinkle. It's what Niall loves most about him. After that he reaches the bits he had written the other day, the words that still come to him so naturally, like a divine afflatus...

_"You fuck me rough but love me so softly,_  
_come fill me up with your rage that is godly._  
_I'll tie you down with my crimson need,_  
_and make you gag on your wretched greed._

_So don't be afraid and don't burn the hate,_  
_on the ancient altar of our dying fate._

_'cause I still crave you and your raw emotion,_  
_still wanna taste your unshared devotion._  
_I know your appetite for my feral heart,_  
_and I'll let your teeth rip it apart._

_So don't run away and don't let me leave,_  
_'cause no one else will let me breathe."_

The strange thing is that the melody has been the same from the start. It is slow and almost gentle, so opposite to the words of his last verses. They hurt in his throat, they come out painfully sincere and he knows he's nailing every note, every word, his voice cracking at the end of the song. He wants to shake the audience, wants to share his feelings and rub them into Harry's face so he can't help but listen. He has to understand that no matter how scary things feel, that they're nothing compared to being apart. Just because the pain has become so familiar to them doesn't mean they need to hold on to it.

When he hits the last note on his guitar he opens his eyes again. He didn't even realise that he had closed them somewhere during the song. But now he can see the faces of the people in the crowd and they are showing pretty mixed feelings. Some of them seem bored but others have wet eyes or give him a plain stare like they want to get horizontal with him, which is slightly creepy. But they all raise their voices for him and clap their hands, shouting various compliments at him.

It makes his chest swell with pride and when he gets off the stage he finally dares to look at his pack. Louis is throwing his hands up in the air yelling _sick, Nialler!_ , drowning out everyone else. Zayn is the one who cheers quietly for him and Liam? He just winks at Niall and Niall winks back when he reaches their table.

Harry on the other hand looks like he's ready to explode. His skin has reddened, from his throat up to his cheeks and he's breathing heavily through his nose, like there are words stuck in his throat and he can't get them out. Or maybe it's something else...

"Wanna step outside?" Niall asks him and Harry gives a quick nod.

He hands his guitar to Zayn before he pulls Harry to his feet so they can sneak out. Niall faces the crowd that is already looking forward to the next performance and luckily he doesn't have to say anything, Harry is wrapping his arms around him from behind and leads them both through the sea of people, knowing that Niall would have trouble with it. He couldn't be more in love.

As soon as they're outside Niall takes a deep breath and expects Harry to let go of him, but he's doing the opposite. His grip tightens even more and he starts to nuzzle at Niall's hair with a dry sob.

"It was beautiful, Ni... Every word, I felt it."

Niall slightly shifts his head so he can see Harry and then lifts both hands to rub over his arms on Niall's chest. Harry is trembling but not from the chill in the air, the thing that's shaking him comes from inside, from his heart. A heart Niall was finally able to touch and he's vibrating with need when he turns in Harry's arms.

"I'm glad you like it. I wrote it for you – and the boys – but mainly for you," he mutters. "Because you mean everything to me."

Harry's hands are lingering on Niall's waist now, eyes wide and vulnerable but finally open to whatever Niall has to show him. He also looks like he wants to cry but can't and Niall wonders when the last time was that he let himself. The last time _Niall_ had seen him like this was the day he had left. He remembers watching Harry's face through the window of the car until it disappeared around the corner. 

"I don't know what I'm feeling. I'm not angry anymore, I think. I haven't been since I climbed out of your window but... I don't know what I feel. Being angry is just easier."

Niall kind of has an inkling about Harry's true feelings and reaches up to cup his cheeks with both hands, dragging their foreheads together.

"I know your anger has protected you but that's never been you," he whispers. "You were always happy... well, either happy or sad but never angry. You're allowed to be sad, Haz. Big Alphas can cry."

And maybe that's what Harry has needed, just the permission of someone who understands and won't judge him. An ugly sob rips from his throat before he falls forward into Niall, making them both stumble for a moment. But he quickly catches Harry and pulls him into a warm embrace, holding him the way he had when they were younger, like they're the only two people in the world. 

Niall is so relieved that Harry is finally letting him in, that he's not caring anymore about holding back the tears. They flow freely now, dampening Niall's shoulder and part of his top. He can smell how Harry's distress lessens more and more with every moment that passes and soon even his shoulders stop shaking. Niall doesn't say anything, he just holds Harry through it, pressing his knuckles into Harry's back with a circling motion. 

"I love you," Harry says eventually, croaking low in his throat. It gives Niall pleasant shivers. "I've always loved you so much, _fuck_. That's why it hurt so much and... I had to survive somehow so I... god."

"It's okay," Niall murmurs and Harry pulls away far enough so they can look at each other. His cheeks are wet and his eyes red-rimmed but he also seems more at ease, more attentive. "You don't have to explain anything."

"I _have_ to. I have to because I think I've known it since we were little and I never told you but I want to tell you now."

"What?" Niall is slightly confused now.

"We're mates..."

Niall blinks. "Yeah? Obviously?"

"No but," Harry sighs. "We're not just pack mates. I want to be bond mates eventually but... we're soul mates?"

His eyes are so big, so scared, the true Harry shining through every pore, like he's worried that Niall will laugh at him. But why would he, how _could_ he? Not when his heart is about to leap out of his chest at the sound of that word. 

"Soul mates," Niall echoes and he likes the shape of it, likes the meaning and especially how Harry looks at him when he repeats it. It's all clicking in his brain now and he nods at Harry. "I think you're right about that."

Harry's smile returns, the smile Niall has been singing about just a few moments ago. It's bright, just a little teary from his crying hangover, but it's there and Niall surges forward to kiss it. Harry is ready for him and pushes Niall into the brick wall before he eagerly opens his mouth, hands sliding under the hem of his top to touch skin. Niall quickly wraps both of his arms around Harry's neck to pull them flush together because nothing can ever fit between them (except for three lovely Betas). He breaks the kiss for a moment, to take a breath, to look at Harry's wet lips before he brushes his own over them once more. It turns into a series of small kisses, tilting their heads into a different angle before they dive back in with more pressure each time. Niall has never felt more alive and he holds on to Harry until their pack mates come looking for them with the biggest smiles on their faces.

*

Niall visits Harry's place so they can watch a film together and eat some junk food. It is a good plan. Somehow they don't end up doing that and fuck instead. Niall isn't sure how exactly it happens, but there are a lot of absent-minded touches that linger, small pecks that turn into full-blown kisses and then suddenly they are naked. _Oops_.

Maybe it's Harry's smug question of whether they'd still have great sex outside of their heat and rut and maybe it's also Niall's eagerness to have that question answered. So yeah, that's probably how he ends up in Harry's lap, legs splayed over his thighs as he rides him, hard. Harry is so eager with his hands digging into Niall's spine, trying to fuck into him. But Niall keeps him in place with both hands buried in Harry's curls, pulling back his hair so harshly that his mouth goes slack with a gasp. Niall pants into that mouth, kissing it, biting it, making Harry whimper with each roll of his hips. He is even more beautiful like this, becoming all pliant and willing and _loud_. He doesn't remember Harry being so vocal during their last time.

But there's nothing Niall loves more than the string of _pleasepleaseplease_ Harry is moaning into the silence of the room, making the heat in Niall's gut tighten with voracious appetite. Lewd words tumble from Harry's lips when Niall starts to mouth at his neck, grazing it with his teeth so close to where he would leave a bonding mark. God, he wants to mark Harry, wants to be marked by him too. But he feels like they have to wait a little longer, even though they've waited enough already.

"Niall," he breathes. "Fuck, it's so good."

He jerks his hips again but Niall quickly presses down, groaning at the rawness of being so full. It makes him yank harder at Harry's hair and _god_ Niall could die for those high-pitched noises in the back of his throat that crack at the end, so lecherous, so meek. It makes him come before Harry does and he squeezes hard around him, moan muffled against Harry's mouth. He swallows each moan and sucks on Niall's tongue, whimpering when Niall keeps moving, even if it's too much and he's too sensitive but Harry had introduced him to that feeling and now he's chasing it like a beast.

His skin is still on fire when Harry spills inside of him, fingers scratching along Niall's back, giving it texture. His knot is swelling and this time Niall is clear-headed enough to actually appreciate it, to relish in the harsh drag that only stops when they're locked together. It feels perfect, everything about this is perfect and they stare at each other with their eyes glazed over. Niall's grip on Harry's hair slowly loosens so he can stroke his face instead, fingertips tracing the structure of his face and Harry is still starving for each of his touches, leaning into them with a sigh.

"So beautiful," Niall whispers to his Alpha and presses a kiss to his cheekbone. "I knew we would be amazing, even when I'm not in heat. I feel so good with you, Haz."

Harry makes a low noise this time, like a purr and they stay that way, with Niall pressing kiss after kiss to his face, murmuring all the affirmation into his skin. It's not hard to find the right words, they come to him easily, and he's in awe when he feels Harry just go limp against him, like Niall has just fucked and loved all the tension out of him. The sight makes Niall ache with affection and he slowly lets Harry drop back into the sheets. He lets out a small gasp when his head hits the pillow. Yeah he really looks well fucked, with his arms spread out on the mattress and his blissed out expression, eyes closed. 

Luckily Niall won't be able to move for a while, with Harry's knot deep inside of him, so he makes use of that time to appreciate Harry's body and his whole existence by running his fingers over his sensitive skin. He traces the tattoos on his torso, the laurels, the butterfly (it's Niall's favourite), the swallows and the numbers. He wants to know the story behind each and every single one of them but now is not the time. For now he'll just look and marvel with the urge to put his own markings in-between. 

"Hey," Niall murmurs after a while, leaning a little forward to brush his knuckles over Harry's cheek. "Time to come back, yeah?"

"Hrmphz," Harry says unhelpfully but it makes Niall smile. 

"Come on, Hazza. I know you're in there."

He pokes him in the sides, in his belly and feels Harry twitch, a small grin appearing on his lips as he opens his eyes. Niall is a little surprised to see that there's still hunger in them, that he still wants more. But Niall doesn't know of what yet.

"There you go," Niall grins back at him. "Good Alpha."

Harry whimpers but it sounds more like a dying whale noise that has Niall chuckle. Harry always wanted to be liked by everyone and he would lie through his teeth to get the praise he needed. He doesn't have to do that with Niall though, he'll give it to Harry without having him ask for it (but sometimes Niall still lets him beg because he's so pretty when he does. So strong and handsome to the world but rolling onto his back for Niall.)

"so much space here." Niall lets his finger wander over an untouched patch of skin. "I could get my own words on you. Would you like that, Haz?"

Harry looks up at him, swallowing. "What words?"

"Whatever you want."

He reaches for the sharpie on Harry's bed stand, trying to move his hips as little as possible but there's still a slight hiss escaping both of them. He rests one hand on Harry's shoulder while he opens the sharpie with his teeth and spits the cap aside.

"Now tell me, what do you like best? What do you want to be fore me?"

Harry watches Niall carefully, eyes flickering between him and the sharpie with his bottom lip tucked between his teeth.

"No need to be shy," Niall tells him.

"I'm... I like it when you call me your good Alpha."

Niall beams at him. "I like it too." 

He writes it along Harry's collarbone in thick letters, occasionally lifting his eyes to see Harry watching _him_ , not the pen. His smirks is a little self-satisfied. He tries to imagine how Travis or Claire would've reacted if he'd ever suggested something like this. They probably would've told him he was insane. But not Harry, because they want the same thing and fit together like a pot and a lid.

"What else?" He asks when he's finished.

Harry takes a deep breath. "I guess I... I want to be beautiful for you?"

"And you are," he breathes, choosing the inside of Harry's right arm for it. "Always have been, even when we were little. All the girls and boys trailed after you and you didn't even notice."

"I did notice, I'm not stupid. But I never wanted anyone, just you and my pack," he mutters like it just spilled directly from his heart without filtering through his brain first.

Niall smiles at him, tracing the L of 'beautiful' again to make it more visible.

"We never wanted anyone else either. _I_ never wanted anyone else. It's always been you, no matter who I dated."

Harry's breathing heavily through his nose now, nodding at Niall. "Good... Good, 'cause I'm yours."

Niall grins. "Want me to put that on your skin, too?"

"Yes," Harry gasps, back climbing into an arch that makes it rise from the sheets, like he's offering himself all over again.

Niall's breath hitches. "God, Haz... You'll drive me crazy one day."

He writes the four-letter word over Harry's heart, claiming him that way. _Mine_. He finds himself grow hot all over again, loving the way Harry puts himself on display, seeing how much he loves this now after being so reluctant at first. Harry's dick twitches inside of him with each stroke and each letter, making Niall wonder what exactly this does to Harry's brain.

"Can I give you one here myself?" He asks and smooths over Harry's skin right under the butterfly.

Harry nods at him and closes his eyes, squirming in anticipation and forcing the knot to move inside of Niall. It makes his skin crawl with renewed want but he needs to finish this first, needs to give Harry everything that he desires. When he's done with writing it he hums to himself and licks his lips, like he can taste the word in his mouth. Harry immediately raises his head and looks down at the word Niall has placed there.

"Shit," he moans and and his hips move again, making Niall jump on his knot with a squeal.

Harry quickly sits up again, brushing their lips together with a deep swipe of his tongue against the back of Niall's teeth, the word _soul mate_ pressing into Niall's belly, leaving a pale imprint of it on his own skin, but he won't notice that until much later. Right now all he can focus on his Harry's mouth and his fucking knot that keeps twitching and he doesn't know what it means until the Alpha chokes on a groan and squeezes Niall's waist hard. His breath comes out jerky when he tears his mouth away, like he's in pain, but Niall knows that it often gets confused with something else. So Niall stares at Harry with an open mouth, stroking his hair out of his face with both hands.

"Fuck," he swears in realisation. "Did you just come again?"

Harry gives a weak nod. "Yeah..."

"Holy shit, Haz."

"Not my fault. Absolutely not my fault that you're that good," he growls and presses a kiss to the underside of Niall's chin. "God, I love you so much."

"Sometimes I can't even believe you're real but yeah I love you, too," Niall hums.

"Good," Harry says with bright eyes and Niall hopes they'll never lose their sparkle again.

*

Niall can say with absolute confidence that it's not his fault this time. He doesn't even realised that there is a fight going on until some brainless Alpha tackles him to the ground with a growl. For a moment he freezes because the guy's scent is quite intimidating and he can hear Mr. Cowell's warning ring in his ear. But then he remembers that they're not in school, they're in the park so he totally _can_ punch that Alpha.

"They don't even try to protect their little Omega, eh? Shit friends you got there," he laughs at Niall, pinning his hands down on the grass.

"And who's protecting you?" Niall hisses and then gathers all the saliva in his mouth to spit right into his face.

He makes a disgusted noise and flinches, lifting his hands to his eyes and Niall uses the opportunity to ram his forehead into the Alpha's nose. He falls backwards with a yell but Niall is not finished with him yet and jumps forward, hands already clenched into fists.

The rest passes like a blur and Niall feels a hand collide with his face more than once. His nose is bleeding and he'll definitely have a bruised eye tomorrow but it's worth it. Because one look at his mates tells him enough to know that they deserved it. And because they're a pack, a team, _everything_ , they win. A pack of five misfits against six Alphas, who start to back off when Harry catches one of their throats between his teeth with a deep growl, pushing his face into the grass. Harry wouldn't kill him though, would he? Alphas have a strong jaw, they can totally rip out someone's throat. Of course Niall doesn't want him to do it... but the thought intrigues him.

"Oi," one of the Alphas with a split lip says. "It was just a joke mate, don't do something stupid, yeah?"

Harry snarls at the word 'mate' and Niall shivers too because he's using it so casually, he doesn't understand the full meaning behind it, he probably doesn't even feel connected with those other Alphas. The one trapped between Harry's teeth just gasps when Harry's jaw tightens and Niall finally wakes from his stupor. He sniffles and smears the blood under his nose across his face by wiping at it with the back of his hand before he approaches Harry carefully, touching his waist first to show him it's pack and not someone else.

"Hey, Haz," he whispers to his _mate_ , fixing the suddenly scared Alphas with a dark gaze. "They're not worth it, yeah?"

Harry huffs and presses the other Alpha further down.

"Come on," the guy croaks from underneath him. "I'm sorry, yeah?"

Louis appears next to them with a snort and then drops to his knees, lowering his head next to the Alpha's to poke him in the face.

"Are you really? Sorry I mean?"

"Of course he is, just let him go!" Another Alpha yells. None of them dare to come closer as long as Harry has his his teeth in that boy's throat.

"We didn't ask you," Liam hisses from behind them.

"I'm sorry, I swear," he whines now and Niall licks his lips. 

He doesn't exactly know why but he _really_ has a thing for Alphas submitting like that. It gives him a sick thrill, even more since it's Harry who beat that guy, who can be strong and aggressive but when he's back in Niall's arms he is all soft and sweet. Niall tries hard not to get wet from the sight.

"Here's the thing..." Louis stays low to look into the Alpha's eyes. "Alphas are the protectors of their pack, not the ones picking on others. You're not a good Alpha, not like ours. What did you expect when you harassed my boyfriend, hm?"

Niall is still half-draped over Harry's back but now turns his head to Liam who still has a murderous glance directed at them with a shaking Zayn in his arms. Niall can see that he isn't even able to talk right now and yeah... of course that's how it had started. Liam has always been overprotective when it comes to Zayn and that hasn't changed.

"I'm sorry," the Alpha repeats. "I'll never do shit like that again, I _promise_."

Louis hums and gets back to his feet, rubbing over the sore spot on his face. He has a little cut on his forehead but it doesn't look so bad. He'll be fine.

"Great! I guess we can let you go then," Louis says generously and then nods at Niall.

Niall nods back and leans forward again, pressing a kiss to Harry's shoulder.

"You heard that? You're a good Alpha, so good. But it's enough, let's take care of Zayn now, hm?"

Harry makes a worried noise at that and _finally_ lets go of the guy, licking his teeth and lips before he grabs the Alpha's face to make him look up.

"Don't touch my pack _ever_ again."

He's using his Alpha voice and since Niall is not yet bonded to him, it almost frightens him too. But he sighs as soon as Harry pushes back into his arms and he can hold on to him. They watch the Alpha scramble to his feet before he darts off with his friends, throwing one last look over his shoulder. Hopefully this has taught him a lesson because next time it might be Niall who bites.

"Are you alright?" Harry asks when he turns around and sees the blood on Niall's face. "Fuck."

"I'm fine, it's not my first rodeo," Niall says with a smirk but enjoys how gently Harry rubs over the blood on his cheek.

"Okay," he murmurs softly, all anger and rage burnt from his mind and they both hurry over to where Zayn is still miserable.

Niall isn't even sure whether they just insulted him or touched him but it doesn't matter. Zayn is upset and that's a good enough reason to punch the shit out of some Alphas.

"Hey," Harry says and Zayn lifts his head from Liam's shoulder to look at him. "They're gone now."

Zayn simply nods, unable to say anything but he still lets Harry pull him into a tight hug. The Beta is still shivering a little with his face pressed into Harry's shoulder, hands hanging loosely by his side. Niall carefully reaches out for Zayn's fingers and wraps his own around them, squeezing and stroking them. It has always helped Niall to hold Zayn's hand so hopefully it will make _him_ feel better, too.

"Sorry, I probably overdid it back there. I was just so mad." Harry rubs soothing circles into Zayn's back.

"Don't apologise," Liam says. "I'm glad you did it."

"But I'm also glad you didn't _actually_ kill that dude," Louis adds a little anxiously. "Would've been messy."

Harry grins at them and Zayn finally takes a deep breath before he pulls away with a quiet 'thank you'. He looks better now and Niall thinks that maybe Harry's soothing Alpha scent helped him, too. Zayn smiles at Niall then, squeezing his hand and Niall presses a kiss to his fingers before he lets go.

"Jeez, Nialler. You've also looked better," Louis pipes up hands him a paper tissue. "Went in head first, didn't you?"

Niall grins to himself and presses it against his nose, even though it already stopped bleeding. It doesn't even hurt that much, so it looks worse than it is. They all have their wounds to tend to and while Louis licks over Liam's scraped up knuckles, Zayn dabs at the cut on Louis' forehead. Niall isn't really used to it anymore, taking care of each other like that. All these years he had fought his own battles and licked his own wounds. But it had felt so good when Harry was with him after the fight with Taylor, his tongue on Niall's face...

"Your shoe," Harry says while he's adjusting his headband.

"Huh?" Niall looks down at his shoes and yes, one of them is completely untied. 

But somehow he doesn't really feel like taking care of it, so he quickly bends down and stuffs the laces inside before he wipes the tissue over his face one last time and then throws it into the waste bin by the bench. As soon as the turns around though he collides with Harry's chest and blinks up at him. 

"Niall," He chides fondly and then squeezes his shoulders until he sits down on the bench. With another swift motion Harry crouches down in front of Niall.

"What?" Niall is confused.

Harry gives him a lopsided smile and pats his thigh. Oh... Niall understands then and comfortably places his foot on Harry's leg, tongue darting out to wet his lips. He hates it and he loves it because it's already driving him insane. A minute ago Harry had been ready to kill a group of Alphas and now he is going on his knees again to tie Niall's fucking shoe. And he's doing it with careful hands, shy eyes trained on his task.

"Don't want you to trip," he explains and when he's done he plants a lingering kiss to the top of Niall's shoe.

Niall, who stares at Harry with parted lips, tongue pressed against the back of his teeth.

"I won't trip," Niall smirks and then lifts his foot to push against Harry's chest, making him topple over. He doesn't even resist and his back hits the grass with a small thudding sound.

"Niall," Harry whines when the foot stays on top of him, with no real weight on it. He's reaching with both hands for Niall's ankle. "I've been good, haven't I?"

"So good," Niall confirms and pushes down a little harder, licking his lips. "You even get a treat, just tell me what you want."

"A treat," Harry echoes with a fierce gleam in his eyes.

His fingers wander upwards, stroking along Niall's calf before they settle in the back of his knee and suddenly _pull_. Niall gasps when he's instantly dragged down, straddling Harry's stomach with his hands planted next to the Alpha's head. 

"Harry," he complains. That could've hurt his knees. But then again, the grass is quite soft.

"I want a kiss," Harry declares with a perky grin and... well fuck, Niall is weak, so weak for this boy, he'll give him anything.

So he kisses Harry, squeezing Harry's side with his legs, hands in his curly hair. Kissing Harry is like tasting a fire, just without the burn. The heat blooms in Niall's cheeks instead, in his whole body and when Harry sighs against his lips he's just so gone.

That is until Louis suddenly yells at them and Niall snaps back into his head like a rubber band. They part with a wet sound and a heavy breath, turning their heads.

"You know I hate to interrupt your snogging sessions but..." he points at a car that pulls into a parking lot outside of the park. "I think someone might have called the cops."

For a moment none of them move. Then they look at each other carefully, making eye contact with each pack member. Niall is the first one who starts to laugh, then Zayn, Harry, Louis, Liam and before they know it they're running like a bunch of rogue wolves, as fast as possible.

*

"Knock knock," Harry whispers into Niall's ear.

"Here we go again." Liam hides his face in Louis' shoulder.

"Shut up," Niall tells him and then turns to Harry with a fond grin. "Who's there?"

"Olive," Harry answers with a straight face.

"Oh no" Zayn slaps both hands over his ears.

Niall ignores them. "Olive who?"

"Olive you," Harry mumbles and nuzzles at Niall's neck until he laughs.

Zayn flings himself from the bed in a cringe attack while Louis lets out an ugly sob and hits Liam with a pillow. "They're so gross, make them stop!"

But somehow Niall is not allowed to complain when Louis and Liam smother Zayn with kisses ten minutes later.

Not that he would.

*

Life at school is surprisingly good. Taylor ignores him, ignores almost everyone, really. She sticks to her friends instead and Niall is kinda glad that she's not shutting them out. But he tries to ignore her as well and just goes on with his life, keeping up with school stuff, hanging out with his pack, _making_ out with Harry. The latter happens more often than less. Sometimes he even gets tackled in the middle of the hallway while changing classes and he giggles into the needy kiss he receives from Harry, pulling him closer until they're basically making out against the wall. Surely that is just another reason to get suspended. Most students try not to look but there's always someone who does.

"Oi, Styles!"

Harry only pulls away far enough so he can glare at whoever is interrupting them. Of course it's Travis, an Alpha whom Niall had gotten into a bit of a fight with the other week. He looks as confident as ever and doesn't seem to remember how Niall fucked him up the last time he made a stupid comment. Maybe he is smarter this time.

"So you caught yourself the Omega I had an eye on. Is he a good lay at least?" … well, apparently he hasn't gotten smarter.

But before Niall can come up with a good retort, Harry is already spinning around with one arm draped around Niall's waist.

"Yeah, he really is. Niall here fucked me all night yesterday. You should try that sometime." His smile is anything but sweet and Travis blanches slightly, mouth hanging open for a second.

Niall can't help but grin at the lie and the guy's reaction. With that attitude of his he's probably still a virgin and who would want to go out with an asshole like that? Certainly not Niall. So when Travis flees with a flustered expression on his face, he starts to chuckle and presses against Harry.

"So that's what we did last night, huh?" 

To his surprise Harry looks a little flustered himself and just shrugs with a sheepish smile. Oh. _Oh_ , maybe it wasn't just a joke, at least not all of it. Or maybe it was one in the beginning but not know, after he's thought about it. Niall can see the gears whirring in Harry's head and it makes him smirk.

"Or should we do it _this_ night?"

Harry makes a weird sound in his throat, like he wants to say yes but is embarrassed about it. So Niall takes his hand and drags him away from curious eyes and gossiping mouths, leading him into a quiet corner. Their next class will start in a few minutes and Harry gives a weak protest but Niall thinks this is worth it to be late.

"Ni..."

"You can tell me," Niall says, shoving Harry into the wall this time. Then he quickly rises on his tip toes so he can wrap his arms around Harry's neck and press a kiss to his lips. "Want me to fuck you, Haz?"

Harry gasps against his mouth, burying his fingers in the back of Niall's top. "I... yes?"

Niall hums. "Good... because I'd like that, too. God, I bet you'll look amazing under me, all spread out on the sheets, especially with your fucking long legs. I love your legs, you know that? And then I can open you up with my fingers and show you how good it feels, how good _you_ always make me feel. Fuck, I really want it."

Harry groans and ducks his head to steal another kiss and Niall's breath. It's good that they're always on the same page, on opposite ends of the same spectrum to make them whole, something Niall really, truly loves. 

So that's what he does later that night when Harry's parents are out for dinner and they don't have to rush things. Niall takes his time with Harry's body, kissing him all over, biting into the thick meat on the inside of Harry's thighs until the Alpha writhes and keens. It's different and it takes a while for Niall to open him up (with his own slick because the thought and the sight of Harry is enough to get him wet), each finger stretching him more and more. But Harry is perfect in every way, taking everything so well, accepting Niall's cock and his slow thrusts eagerly.

There's an arch in his back that Niall follows with one hand up his spine, into his neck, into his hair, pulling until Harry bends with another moan. He can see how Harry wants to move, wants to touch but he can't because he's tied to the headboard with his own scarf, tearing and fighting. But he never tells Niall to stop, instead he whispers 'more' and gives Niall a wanton look over his shoulder, a look that makes Niall lose himself.

He could do this all night, with slow hands and sharp thrusts until Harry comes from nothing but Niall inside of him. He wants that. He does that.

*

"So I was thinking," Liam says when they're all at his place. "We should move in together after we graduate."

Niall almost drops his controller and Louis pauses the game to turn to Liam.

"I thought we wanted to wait before we ask them?"

Liam shrugs. "Yes, but why? Now is as good a time as any."

"You didn't even tell _me_ ," Zayn squints at them.

"Yeah because you and Niall will still be in school," Louis explains.

"Okay, slow down. What exactly do you want to do?" Niall looks from them to Harry but he seems just as clueless.

"Well, Louis and I have been looking into places that are big enough for the five of us. You know, Someone rang us up because they're interested in publishing Lou's and Zayn's comic so it would be obvious to get a bigger place. And well, whatever you two decide, it would probably be cheaper to rent something together? It's a win-win really. For all of us."

Niall squeezes the controller in his hand and looks from Liam to Louis and then checks Zayn's and Harry's faces for any kind of reaction. Zayn is smiling from his place next to Liam and pokes him in the side.

"Still could've told me, of course I'm in."

"We know you're in, that's why we didn't tell you yet." Louis grins.

"And what about you?" Liam offers Niall and Harry a hopeful smile.

"Is that even a question?" Harry tilts his head with a frown and his eyes flicker to Niall's. "It's not a question, is it?"

"No, I don't think it is," Niall says and is instantly attacked by an enthusiastic Louis who throws both arms around him.

"I knew it! You lot just can't stay away from me but that's okay. I wouldn't let you leave me anyway!"

Niall laughs when Louis buries his face in his neck, pushing him back into the cushions of the sofa. Of course Louis would be the most anxious but also the most excited about it. Niall remembers that one time they all came to Louis' house in the middle of the night when he was having a nightmare. He had dreamed that his pack was leaving him for some reason and no one, not his mother or his father were able to calm him down. They were so desperate that they called the pack's parents and asked them to bring over their children. Louis had looked so pale, only his nose and eyes red from all that crying. Zayn had been the first to climb into bed with Louis to hold him and then the rest joined him, too. Louis had relaxed quickly after that and they all fell asleep with him. But thinking about it now...

Niall wonders how much his departure had affected Louis. He didn't seem more upset than the others but maybe he had tried to be strong for Harry. Because ever since Niall's return Louis is all over him, like he is _really_ trying to make up for the time they lost. So Niall hugs him back a little tighter and presses a kiss to Louis' forehead that makes him go almost limb. It is quite nice, at least until another body drops on top of them.

"Liam!" Niall gasps.

"Sorry but you know the rules: cuddle piles must include at least five people." Liam grins at him over Louis' shoulder.

"Who made that rule?" he complains and wonders why Louis doesn't.

"Pretty sure it was Louis." Oh. That's why.

Zayn is the next to climb on top of them and Niall not only feels like he's being crushed under the weight but also like they're a fucked up version of a Jenga tower that is ready to fall over.

"If we die I will not share a room with you in hell," Niall whines.

"Don't be like that," Louis grunts, struggling a little with the weight himself. "Hey, fearless Leader. What about you?" He raises his head to grin at Harry.

The 'fearless leader' has been typing something into his phone and looks up with a frown when he hears Louis' strange nickname. 

"What about me?"

"You joining us or not?" Zayn asks from the top.

"Don't do it, Haz," Niall whimpers. "I'll die."

But Harry puts on his widest grin and shoves his phone back into his pocket before he gets up. Niall hates him already and prepares for the worst. The worst happens exactly five seconds later when they collapse under Harry's weight and crash Liam's coffee table that is completely made of glass. Well... it wasn't his fault this time.

*

They are drunk. Or at least a little tipsy. Louis has dragged all of them out of the house in the middle of the night with enough alcohol to get them all into a coma. But since they're all trying this new thing called responsibility, they're not overdoing it. Niall may be Irish but he still hasn't been drunk before, his mother would've thrown a tantrum over it. That half of a pint he had in the pub didn't do much either. But now he finds out that he's one of the clingy drunks and turns into a complete monster that tries to touch everything and everyone. It surprises him a little since he's usually more the aggressive type. But he supposes that it's not what he feels on the inside, it's just the wall he has built around himself over the years when he was alone.

"Niall," Zayn wheezes and grabs the pair of hands that is currently placed somewhere under his shirt. "What are you doing?"

" _You have abs_ , Niall whines. "Why do you all have tummy muscles and I don't? I'm lagging behind, aren't I?"

"Tummy muscles," Louis splutters and bends over to laugh.

Rude.

"You're cute, Niall, you don't need them," Zayn says and tugs him around the street corner to catch up with Liam.

"I know that I'm cute," Niall rolls his eyes. "Years and years of evolution so I would attract overly masculine Alphas to protect me and give me babies." Niall smushes his own cheeks and winks at Zayn.

"Oh my god," Zayn snorts with laughter and then clings to Louis' arm so he won't fall over.

"You already have an Alpha, Nialler, so I wouldn't worry about that," Louis says and wraps a possessive arm around Zayn.

"I doooooo," Niall sings and turns around while he keeps walking. 

Harry is a few steps behind him with red cheeks and an affectionate smile. Niall reaches out for him with grabby hands and Harry quickly catches up to sweep Niall off his feet. They walk, or stumble, while kissing soundly and grabbing at each other's clothes. He's not sure why Harry is wearing a black mesh top but even though he had laughed at him in the beginning he can't help but like the feeling of it under his hands. He prods at the holes with his fingers, trying to get his nails into them to scratch a little at Harry's skin. It was probably Louis' idea, he always likes to mess with Harry. The plan probably didn't include Niall being intrigued by it though. He can see Harry's tattoos through it and it's _hot_. Probably more hot since he's slightly drunk.

Then they both walk right into a fucking lamp post.

"Fuck," Niall grumbles and rubs the back of his head while Harry looks really concerned and the rest of the pack bursts into laughter. "You could've warned us!"

"That would be no fun," Louis explains.

"It's not fun anyway," Niall pouts. There are a few tears gathering in the corner of his eyes and, oh no... He's too emotional, isn't he? He can't even take a joke. It didn't even hurt that much and yet...

"Oh fuck, Nialler, we're sorry!" Liam hurries over to push Harry's arm away and hug Niall fiercely. Zayn and Louis are right behind him.

"You're idiots, you know that?" Harry just shakes his head and waits.

"Sorry," Liam repeats and rubs his nose over Niall's cheek. "Did it hurt that much?"

"Yes," Niall lies and returns the hug. "But I forgive you. This time."

"Gracious," Zayn says.

Niall grins and places a firm hand right between Liam's legs. The Beta lets out something between a yelp and a moan and stumbles back into Louis' arms who catches him with an alarmed noise. Liam stares at him, colour rising into his cheeks and then points an accusing finger at Niall.

"You lied! You just wanted to feel me up!"

Niall looks at his own hand. "Yeah but Harry's dick-"

" _Alright_!" Louis covers his ears. "Let's keep moving, okay?"

"Where are you taking us anyway?" Zayn asks.

"You'll see! Now come on, mates!"

Niall is still smirking, feeling very smug suddenly. Now he only has to touch Louis' bum and he'll have the whole set. Harry doesn't count because they've both spent the day in bed already, with Harry licking him all over, cleaning him from a smell that wasn't pack. Harry had feasted on his body like a starving wolf, making Niall feel all warm and soft on the inside. He still smells of Harry now, partly because he's also wearing one of his mate's black sweaters that is too big on him. 

Niall sighs when the others are moving on and presses himself against Harry's body, looking up at him with a lovesick smile. "Carry me?"

Harry's hands immediately loop around him. "Carry you?"

"Yeah, wanna ride you."

"What?" Harry chokes out.

"On your back, you pervert."

"Oh..."

"But I can do the other riding too. Later."

Harry snorts and then turns around, crouching down far enough so Niall can climb on his back with his arms and legs firmly wrapped around him. Harry doesn't really struggle when he straightens again, he just adjusts Niall a little by hoisting him up with a small jump. Niall only gives a small squeak and then giggles into Harry's neck, breathing him in. He will never get tired of this boy or his scent and he still enjoys raking his blunt nails over the rough texture of the mesh. He starts to hum when he feels Harry shiver under the touch. It can't be anything else because it's a warm night and by now Niall just knows what to do to make Harry go crazy. Though it never needed much in the first place.

"What is that melody?" Harry asks suddenly. "A new song?"

"Maybe." Niall smiles into Harry's skin. "There are many songs in my head. Most of them are about you."

"Really?" Harry doesn't sound like he believes it.

"I wrote a song about your hair but it's not that good. I've thought a lot about you since I came back.... and imagined. You know I had your stuff under my pillow and got off on your scent. So good... If you hadn't left Taylor I would've ripped you out of her arms..."

"Niall," Harry whines and his grip on Niall's thigh tightens, steps faltering.

"But you're mine now, so it's all good," Niall assures him and rubs one hand over Harry's heart while singing softly into his ear. " _So young and trying to make sense, but we never were just childhood friends. Just you and your heart in a coat of sin, taking it off to let me in..._ "

Harry sucks in a sharp breath, turning his head a little. "Niall--"

"Look ahead or we'll walk into another lamp post," Niall chuckles and presses a kiss to his neck.

They pass into another street and suddenly everything looks very familiar to Niall, but in a strange way. In his head everything's supposed to be bigger but it isn't. He squints at the street sign but it's too far away and too dark to read properly.

"Louis, where are we?" He yells.

"Don't scream like that," Louis screams back. Then he continues more quietly and with a grin, "you know this place." He points at something ahead of them.

Niall starts to kick about with his legs when he recognises the colourful building and Harry makes a sound of complaint as he drops him back on his feet. It's their nursery. The place where he has spent the best years of his life, where he met his mates. He's getting emotional all over again and starts to run.

"Hey, don't run off like that!" Liam sprints after him and a moment later the rest of them are following.

Niall reaches the gate first, making a mournful sound when he finds it locked. And it's quite high, higher than the one in the zoo which makes him kinda laugh because the implication of children being more dangerous than animals is... hilarious.

"I wanna get inside," Niall whines and starts to rattle at the bars.

"We'll get inside," Harry promises. "We'll climb."

"I'm too drunk to climb," Niall sobs and bangs his head against it.

"Hey, don't do that," Louis says and grabs Niall's head. "We'll make it. Just like old times, yeah? Climb the mountain and slay the dragon."

Niall beams at him. "My hero."

It makes Louis sob again before he pushes Niall into Harry's arms. "I changed my mind, you help him, I can't deal with him being so cute."

Harry pushes his nose into the soft spot behind Niall's ear, purring low in his throat. "Louis always had a weakness for you, you know?"

Niall ponders his words for a moment. "Hmm, that's alright. We should all have fun sometime," he mumbles and quickly surges out of Harry's arms to press a fierce kiss to Louis' mouth. 

Harry just snorts behind him while Liam and Zayn gasp and then laugh. Louis makes several noises when his back hits the gate with Niall fisting at the front of his shirt. He forces his tongue into Louis' mouth with a small huff, licking into it until he is kissed back. But Louis doesn't seem to know where to put his hands, they go from Niall's waist to his shoulders and his hair and then back to his hips. He is overwhelmed and Niall can feel it but that's exactly what he's aiming for, even in his slightly drunk state. He only pulls away when he feels Louis melt into the kiss, shoulders sinking like he's feeling owned by Niall's lips.

"What the _fuck_ ," Louis pants afterwards, mouth wet and eyes wide. "What the..."

"Yeah, I always feel like that too," Harry chuckles and pulls Niall back against his chest, making him smile.

Louis is still staring at Niall, both hands holding on to the gate. More words spill from his mouth that sound a lot like 'askdjfhfggjkhkg' and then Zayn and Liam are there to pick him up again, with kisses of their own but they're also throwing curious glances at Niall.

"Later," Niall promises them and then starts to climb that stupid fucking gate. Slowly. Very slowly. Too slowly. "Hazzaaa..."

"Of course," Harry sighs and starts to push Niall's squishy bum over the edge.

Niall lands hard on the other side but still laughs and gets on his hands and knees before he pushes himself up. Zayn is having trouble as well but Liam and Harry take each of his hand before they drag him over the gate. Louis looks a little more drunk now, even though the bottle he's been carrying with him is still half full. 

They chase each other behind the building and there's still the big playground with a climbable pirate ship and a row of swing sets which Louis claims straight after tucking his bottle into the sand to keep it safe. The familiarity of the scene makes Niall feel all giddy and excited, so be bounces around aimlessly for a while until he collides with a laughing Liam. It's only logical for Niall to use that opportunity and kiss Liam into submission. He lives for the surprised sounds they all make and Liam is by far the most surprised, squirming and wiggling until he gives in. He lies on his back like a starfish when Niall withdraws with a grin.

"That was nice, Li."

"Yeah," Liam croaks. "Very nice."

Niall takes off again quickly to chase after Zayn because he's the only one he hasn't kissed yet. Harry doesn't really seem to mind and he's in a swinging competition with Louis right now anyway. It isn't much of a chase though because as soon as Zayn notices Niall running after him he just stops and turns around until Niall hurtles right into his arms. Zayn makes a small twirl so they're falling into the sand with Niall on his back.

"Nooo," Niall complains. _He_ likes to be on top.

"No chance," Zayn cackles and drops his whole weight on the Omega beneath him.

"Zayn," Niall pouts and runs a delicate finger over his jawline to his chin and then over his lips. That's when he remembers that they've already had sex but they never actually kissed. They were always pushing and pulling at the same time, trying to get what they want. "We're too much alike, aren't we?" He asks then.

"I think so," Zayn purrs against the pad of Niall's finger.

Niall smiles and spreads his legs so Zayn can slide between them, a very familiar feeling as well. The sex had been great and he loves Zayn, he really does, he loves all of them so much. Him and Zayn have always been the official nestlings, the ones everyone was fussing about even though it's them who bring people to their knees. They grin at each other, probably thinking the same thing and Niall notices how Louis and Harry are watching them, waiting for something. 

"We'll blow their minds one day," Zayn whispers so none of the others hear him.

"Like a fucking storm." Then he lifts his head to peck Zayn's lips, soft and short but enough to make Zayn smile at him.

"Like a storm," he agrees and helps Niall back to his feet. He sways a little but then runs off a again, checking out the rest of the playground. He realises that one of the big trees in the back is missing and that the building actually has a different colour now. Even the flowers changed and there are potted plants that children have painted on, all lined up along the wall. When Niall turns around his heart sinks a little, arms dropping to his side. The shack is as old and withered as he remembers but it seems so much smaller now. Niall would probably still fit in there. He raises one hand to prod at the rusty lock, humming to himself. It seems less scary now than it did in his memory. But that memory is still the one of a five year old and he is seventeen now. Being scared of the dark and small spaces suddenly seems very ridiculous.

"Do you want me to tear it down?" Harry suddenly asks behind him, making Niall jump slightly. "I would."

Niall turns around with a grin. "I know you would, because you're ridiculous."

Harry doesn't deny it and pulls Niall into his arms instead. "You know, claustrophobic people are more productive thinking outside the box."

Niall blinks up at him, his brain needing a moment to catch up with the joke. Then he snorts with laughter and presses his face into Harry's shoulder. "So ridiculous. Come on."

He drags Harry off to the pirate ship that he actually loved to climb on back then. He's surprised that it's still standing but also very happy about it. He spent a lot of time here with Louis making up adventures, with Liam as his captain, with Zayn pretending they were on a cruise and with Harry talking. 

"Do you want to re-enact Titanic?" Harry asks and sneaks his hands from Niall's waist up under his arms to spread them like an eagle.

Niall huffs. "Not that scene Harry! Come here."

He grabs Harry's hand and together they climb onto the railing, their drunk heads making it a lot more difficult.

"So you jump I jump?" Harry asks, fingers linked tightly with Niall's.

"Exactly," Niall says and then they... jump. It's not very high of course but they still manage to land on their backs with the air being pressed out of their lungs.

"Oh fuck," Harry wheezes. "Bad idea."

Niall agrees and coughs as he turns to Harry. "But we were great."

Harry lets out a silly giggle. "We were. Even though I got all the sand on me now."

"It's okay, we'll clean you up later. I love you like this." He drapes himself half on top of Harry, suddenly feeling overwhelmed with affection. "I'm so in love with you, Haz. I swear I'd love you and still want you even if I was a Beta or an Alpha."

Harry smiles up at him. "Me too. Would love you if I was a Beta or an Omega or a dog."

"A dog?!" Niall bursts into laughter.

Harry shrugs. "I'd probably be very annoying and hump your leg all the time."

"You already do that, Haz."

"… Oh. Guess I'll annoy you forever then."

"I'm alright with that," Niall purrs and smacks a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

"You know," Harry's voice suddenly turns all serious again, his fingers on Niall's back, digging into the fabric. "If it was anyone else you kissed I'd probably get really jealous. But they are pack, it's different..."

Niall smiles at him. "You know you can do the same, right? Are you jealous because I got to kiss Louis?"

Harry rolls his eyes. "Please. Louis is probably the last person on this earth I'd want to kiss and I'm pretty sure it's mutual. But," he shrugs, "I like watching you take them apart."

"Do you now?" Niall mutters and bends over to kiss him properly, but before their lips meet they hear someone clap their hands together.

"My dear mates! I think we should take a look inside."

They all climb to their feet and frown at Louis.

"You want to break in?" Liam asks.

"Of course. We'll never get another chance!"

"But how?" Zayn says and throws his hands up in the air.

"Please." Louis scoffs and digs into his pocket to pull out a lock pick, making the sound from the Zelda games after you open a chest. "I'm always prepared."

Then he approaches the door and kneels down in front it. He seems to know what to do and Niall is actually impressed. He didn't know Louis had skills like that.

"Where did you learn that?"

Louis shrugs, tongue sticking out of his mouth as he moves the lock pick around. "Maybe I was a thief in my former life."

That's also when they hear the lock snap and watch the door open before them.

"Genius," Liam breathes and kisses Louis hard on the mouth.

A lot of things have changed and they wander around on tip toes, looking at children's' drawings and the small furniture they all used to fit on to back then. Niall laughs when Liam breaks one of the chairs by trying to squeeze his arse into it. They're only made of poor plastic and therefore aren't sturdy enough to carry an adult. At least Liam looks guilty about it. But now they have to hide the mess somewhere. After doing that Louis leads them into one of the big rooms and points at something. 

Niall lets out a delighted squeal. " _Book corner!_ "

He dashes over immediately and throws himself onto the floor like a pup, curling in on himself with a satisfied sigh. They've spent hours here napping and looking at picture books together. It was the best of times, so he is really happy when he feels the others wind themselves around him, starting with Harry who curls up behind him for once, growling softly. Zayn puts his head on Niall's hip while Liam and Louis stay in front of him, smiling. It's a bit ridiculous because they're too big and their legs are everywhere, digging into the book shelves or into each other. But Niall wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

"You still didn't tell us why you brought us here, Lou." Liam rubs his cheek over Louis' shoulder with slurred words and Niall realises that he's actually the most drunk of all of them. Well good for him, he rarely lets loose.

"I'm a little offended that none of you remember," Louis pouts and huddles closer to Niall. "Twelve years ago on this day we met properly for the first time. It's when we got all placed at the same table."

Niall stares at him with wide eyes. "No way."

Louis grins at him. "Totally."

"Fuck, how did you even remember that, I can barely remember my own birthday," Zayn says with a frown.

"Well, maybe I just care too much about these things."

"You're amazing," Liam sobs into his shoulder. "I can't believe I forgot."

"Chill, Li. That's why you got me."

"Wow," Harry breathes into Niall's hair. "Twelve years..."

It's a long fucking time when Niall thinks about it and he hasn't even spent half of that time with them. Five years before he got snatched away by his parents to lose another seven years with them. He has been waiting and waiting and hoping for so fucking long he sometimes still forgets how to move forward. Change is always scary and everyone is telling him to take it easy with Harry and his pack but why? Why should he? Twelve years ago he found something life-changing, something amazing, something others don't get to experience until they're older. Or never. So Niall turns in Harry's arms until he's on his back and can look at him and his pretty face with those green eyes, how is he even real? But he is, and he is Niall's, so why wait?

"Bond with me," he whispers and feels Harry freeze.

"What?"

"Bond with me," he says a little louder this time, getting the attention of the other three too.

"What, like... now?"

"Yeah, why not?"

"We're kind of drunk, aren't we? I don't want to rush anything or have you regret it tomorrow," he mumbles but doesn't look at Niall.

"Haz... Hazza," Niall turns a little further so he can get both hands on Harry's face. "I would've bonded with you back then before I left and immediately after I came back and... I've been thinking about it all the damn time. We already know what we want, don't we? So why wait? Our parents won't be surprised. They knew it all along... And drunk or not, right now is perfect, perfect place and our pack is here, so... please bond with me?"

Harry gapes at him, eyes wide with raw emotion and he starts to nod slowly, then a little more firmly and Niall wiggles a little around to get comfortable on the floor. He tugs at the collar of his shirt until it's hooked over his shoulder, exposing his scent gland where the mark is supposed to go. He can hear Harry's breath hitch at the sight, even though it's quite dark in here. Zayn moves his hand up to catch one of Niall's hands in his and Niall squeezes it immediately, thankful for the support. They've never done this but Niall is convinced that they'll manage.

Harry bends over Niall with an open mouth, placing his teeth carefully over the scent gland that sits right between shoulder and neck, taking a deep breath. Niall shivers with anticipation and when Harry finally bites him he lets out a moan, burying one hand in Harry's hair. He has heard about bondings in class and read about it in books but it's nothing compared to the actual thing, something that is half physical and half spiritual. The pain is barely there, teeth sharp enough to break the skin easily. He still keens, overwhelmed by feelings that are not just his own and he throws a leg over Harry's hips, trying to press them closer together. Harry gives a pleased growl in return and sinks his teeth a little deeper, breathing heavily through his nose.

"Don't cry," Louis whispers beside them, wiping at Niall's face with the back of his knuckles. He is crying? He didn't even realise. 

Liam is there too, rubbing a hand over Niall's side and they're so close, he can feel them and Harry everywhere, not just on his skin but also in his soul, no wonder he started crying. The bond is forming slowly, giving the connection Niall has felt all this time a physical form, a mark he'll probably touch over and over again for the rest of his life. He'll never let it break.

When Harry tears his mouth away he only lets himself take one deep breath before he kisses Niall, deep and needy like he's in love. And he is, he's in love with Niall and he can feel it.

"God," Niall whispers between kisses, licking his own blood from Harry's teeth. "Let me?"

Harry nods, still breathless, and rolls over with one hand brushing away his hair. Niall feels warm and fuzzy as he follows Harry's movements, hugging him with his whole body. His mouth trails over Harry's neck, kissing and sucking at the sensitive skin before it settles over the scent gland. He's a little less careful than Harry was, biting hard into the skin until thin rivulets of blood fill his mouth. It makes Harry whimper and Niall finds the possessive beast inside of him that claws into Harry and tears at the mesh, making it rip. Zayn's hand is in Niall's neck now, rubbing over it while Liam is almost draped over both him and Harry, soothing hands everywhere. Louis whispers into his ear, saying how happy he is for them.

The bond slots in right with Harry's, making it a circle, a giving and taking. It thrums through Niall's body with certainty and conviction that this is the right decision. There was no need to wait and it doesn't matter that his mother will probably throw a fit over this tomorrow. It's worth it.

"Ni," Harry moans over and over again and Niall's hand crosses Liam's over Harry's back.

He pulls away when the bond seems to be settled, making him feel even more drunk and a little bit high. He doesn't really let go of Harry, he presses their foreheads together instead, trading breaths and fond touches. He needs to touch now, can't do anything else. He doesn't even have to explain how much he loves Harry or ask if he loves Niall back because they can feel it. He wishes he could share this with their whole pack.

"I don't want to move," Niall mutters and closes his eyes.

"We don't have to leave yet," Louis says and strokes over both Harry's and Niall's hair.

They accidentally fall asleep like that, tangled in a pile of limbs, touching each other like a lifeline. Niall has never been happier and he dreams of falling into a blue sky on golden wings. He only wakes because he hears someone screaming in terror and they all shoot up with tousled hair and wide eyes. 

"Not you!"

There is a woman looming over them and Niall knows her, she has very familiar brown eyes. Her face has more wrinkles though and her hair has become grey. Ms. D looks at them like they are her biggest nightmare and Niall can't help but smile. She recognises them of course and threatens to call the police, so they scramble to their feet as fast as possible and run away. It's not the first time they run and it won't be the last time. But all that matters is that they run together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE END!  
> Well, almost. This is the end, but I have a little epilogue for you coming. I hope you liked this though :) Thank you for all the feedback!
> 
> (I'm not sorry for putting Harry in mesh. I'm not. You know you all hated it and then you loved it :3 )


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it, beautiful people. I'm glad you've been with me on this ride <3

"Hold still."

"Mum..."

She concentrates very hard while she does his bow tie. Niall doesn't even like bow ties, why does he have to wear one? He'd rather wear a normal tie but his mother insisted on it, saying that it looks best on him. It's a white one, like his whole suit and it probably makes him look like a cherub or something. He just needs a bow and an arrow and then he'll go off and make people fall in love with each other. It would probably be fun. He'd make an Alpha fall in love with a Beta or an Omega fall in love with another Omega, just to fuck with the system.

"Done," his mother says proudly, tugging at the ends of the tie one last time before she rests her hand on his arms and squeezes them with a bright smile. "You look really beautiful."

"Mum," he complains again. "Don't be like that. It's not even _my_ prom."

"But I feel like you care about this one more than your own, so I care too."

"Mum..." It's still a little strange whenever she fawns over him like that. 

Over him and his relationship with Harry. She had thrown a tantrum when he came home with that bonding mark, just like he had expected. But then she made him a nice Irish breakfast in the next morning and asked him when Harry will come over for some proper talking. Harry had been _terrified_ and was sweating all day until Niall's mum pulled him into a hug and threatened him to better take care of her pup. Embarrassing, really. For all of them.

"You're really not mad?" Niall had asked.

"I'm really not. I thought I should be but... You are happy and he has always looked out for you. Your... pack... it is special, I guess. I don't understand it and I don't need to, but I accept it. I'm sorry I haven't been as supportive before. But you're my little pup, you know? Greg always had his own mind, doing his own thing, he never was much of a child in the first place. I guess I've always tried to make up for it by playing the mother hen with you, even though you're even more of a grown up than your brother. I hope I didn't drive you away." 

She had looked a little lost and overwhelmed and Niall had launched himself at her to hug her fiercely, with his face buried in her shoulder. Yes, he has his pack, but she's also home, she'll always be his mother, like Bobby will always be his father and Greg will always be his brother. But he has to move on too at some point and find his own way.

His mother is beginning to understand that and now she's fixing his hair because he's really shitty at that. He loves his mother and he's really glad that she loves Harry, too. Dinner with Harry's mum had been a little more tense since she's not just a mother but an Alpha mother with a very protective streak that Harry probably got from her. But Niall knows how to handle Alphas and even though she was the most adamant about keeping them apart during their childhood she seems to be fine with them now. Niall is glad because he thinks they both already had to cross a rocky enough road to get to each other.

"Done," his mother says and kisses him on the forehead, eyes watery.

"Are you actually going to cry?" He asks appalled.

"I've just been thinking," she sniffles and rubs over the white sleeves of his suit. "This could be you on your wedding day."

"Oh my god, mum." He blushes. "You know we don't marry like that."

"I know, you just bond. I'm glad you did. I'm glad you found your one," she says with a smile and pats his cheeks.

"Okay," he gently shoves her hands away. "My mates will be here any minute and I can't let you make me cry."

"Why? Because it will ruin your make up?"

He blinks. "I'm not wearing make up."

"Exactly. So you can hug your mother and cry a little on her, no one will know."

He bites his lips and then slumps forward into her waiting arms, sobbing quietly. She is right, no one has to know. But his pack knows anyway because when he meets them outside he has red eyes like he just took a ton of drugs. Only he would never do that so he must've been crying, obviously.

"Are you alright?" Harry frowns with his head tilted to the side, arm casually resting on the open door. He is wearing the same white suit as Niall but no tie whatsoever. Instead he has left the first three buttons open and Niall wants to lick that piece of skin immediately.

"I'm great," Niall explains with a smile.

"Yeah, but are you _alright_?" Harry deadpans.

Niall blushes hard, to the roots of his hair. "I'm alright."

"Okay," Harry says and leans in to peck his mouth. "Let's go then, yeah?"

They climb into the car where the rest of their pack mates are waiting. They're wearing the same white suits but they obviously made more of an effort in looking presentable instead of trying to come off as a rock star (even though Harry is _totally_ rocking it, damn him).

"It's prom, guys. Can any of you tell me why he didn't pay for a limo? Liam has the smallest car in the world, I swear."

"We spent all our money on stuff for the loft, Lou, remember?" Zayn looks at him from the front seat.

"Yeah but I wanted a limo..."

"Stop complaining," Liam says. "Or you can walk."

Louis gasps. "You'd let the love of your life _walk_? On _prom night_?"

"I mean, I still got Zayn..."

"Oh fuck you," Louis pouts and crosses his arms over his chest.

"Hey," Niall pipes up and sneaks one arm around Louis to squeeze his shoulder while his other hand is safely tucked into Harry's. "I wouldn't let Liam do this. Or Harry and I would walk with you."

Louis turns to him and then smiles all sweet like he used to as a kid. "My hero," he says with a wink and gently elbows Niall into the side.

The rest of the ride consists of light-hearted banter, occasional punches to the arm, soft yelps and Zayn trying to twist over his seat to kiss Louis. It doesn't end well and Zayn promises to never try it again. But Niall would never complain. He never _will_. A year ago he thought he'd be alone and rot in Ireland forever and now he is here, with his pack, bonded to the person he loves the most. For that he'll endure the too frequent fights between Liam and Louis and how Zayn always shows up late to their gatherings. He'll look past Harry's habit to steal his food and he is fine with them sometimes fighting over small and ridiculous things. Niall is actually glad that they can have arguments because that is something he couldn't do with Claire. Claire always thought she had the final say. Harry is different, he wants to _know_ what Niall has to say, even if he's not agreeing with him. And they usually end up making out on the floor anyway, so Niall is fine.

When they arrive at prom they all end up at the same table and Niall loves how Harry always pushes his chair closer to Niall's before he sits down. He wonders if he'll ever get tired of having Harry so close but he doubts it. Every time their fingers touch or their sides press together, he can feel a ridiculously pleasant tingle in the crook of his neck, the spot where his bonding mark is, a vibrant red colour that will turn silver with time. Harry's is more visible since his dress shirt is open and as soon as Harry slides into the chair next to Niall he tugs a little at the collar to get his mouth on it. Just a light press of lips and a bit of tongue, that's all it takes to make Harry shiver and sigh.

He will miss this. He will miss this so much... Because in two days Harry, Liam and Louis will leave for Bristol where they found a nice loft that isn't too expensive and big enough for all of them. It's close to the people Louis and Liam will work with and right above a yet empty bakery that Harry wants to rent. The only problem is that Zayn and Niall will stay behind until they have finished school. Zayn had been ready to just drop school because he didn't care that much anyway but they all knew that his mum wouldn't let him. For Niall it is a bit more complicated. He _needs_ to graduate in order to go to university and Bristol actually has a good law school. It will still be hard and Niall doesn't understand why _he_ is the one freaking out while Harry just smiles at him every time he brings it up.

"I will miss you so much," Niall whispers after pulling away, still close enough for Harry to brush their lips together.

"I will miss you too," Harry mutters afterwards.

"Then why are you so cool about this, I don't get it... You were in pain the last time we were apart and it fucked with your brain, but this time it's okay?" Well, maybe Niall is a little bitter. Maybe he only now fully understands how Harry must've felt because this time it's him who gets left behind. He didn't think he would ever feel that pathetic.

"Niall," Harry says and raises his voice when a particularly loud song comes up. "It is a completely different situation. Last time I was eleven years old and didn't know if you would ever come back. We were pups and nothing we did was in our hands. We're adults now, we know what we want. Besides, it won't be seven years, just one year. And the moment you graduate I'll come to pick you up, I promise."

Niall bites at his bottom lip and then lowers his eyes. "I still don't like it. I don't want you to leave for a new city where I can't look after you."

He can hear Harry chuckle beside him and then his warm nose nudges Niall's jaw. "Yeah, I'll be totally defenceless without you."

"Don't make fun of me, I mean it," Niall grumbles and half-heartedly shoves his face away.

"I know that you mean it," Harry says and keeps Niall's hand on his face by covering it with his own. He slightly turns his head to nuzzle at the rough skin of Niall's palm. "And I'll miss those hands on my skin."

Niall's breath hitches. "Not the time, Haz."

Now it's Harry who pouts. "Fine, but you won't have the time to miss me anyway because we'll talk every day and have the most amazing phone sex. I always wanted to try that."

Niall snorts and withdraws his hand from Harry's face to poke him in the side instead. "But what if _I_ turn into the jealous one because you make new friends and get to flirt with all the customers that come to your bakery, trying to touch your buns and have a taste of your icing?"

"Oh my god, Niall!" Harry grabs his hand, laughing. "That will never happen."

"And why is that?" Niall leans over, smirking. He wants him to say it.

Harry lifts his hand to drag two fingers along Niall's neck, pushing them under his collar until he can touch the mark, their mark. That little bit of contact is enough to send an inappropriate jolt of arousal down Niall's spine.

"Because I'm yours," Harry whispers into the pause between the last song and the next song. "And you're mine."

There's only a brief kiss before they get interrupted by Zayn bringing them food. Liam and Louis have been dancing like idiots for the last ten minutes now.

"Why aren't you joining them?" Harry asks while Niall stuffs his face with small spring rolls.

Zayn scoffs at Harry. "Have you _seen_ them? I love them but I don't want to be associated with what they call 'dancing'."

Niall lifts an eyebrow and turns around. "It can't be that--... Okay, never mind." He concentrates on his food again.

"They'll be insufferable for the next year," Harry sighs and steals from Niall's plate. "They were thinking about buying a body pillow with your face on it, Zayn. Pathetic..."

"Like you will be any better," Zayn snorts. "Want me to remind you how the three of us helped you through your first real rut and how you called me 'Niall'?"

Niall chokes on his food. "What?"

Harry's whole body flushes and he points at Zayn with a spring roll. "Shut up," he mumbles.

"It's okay... Niall will probably call me your name too when he asks me to help with his heat again."

Harry looks like he wants to be angry but he can't. It's banter, it's them, he can't help it, so he grins and starts to kick Zayn under the table, who just yelps.

"No! Your shoes are dirty, you'll ruin my suit!" But then he kicks back anyway.

"I love you," Niall sighs with a shake of his head, meaning both of them, all of them.

He already knows that his heat will be tough without Harry, especially now that they're bonded. Harry had offered to come back to London for his heats but Niall had turned him down. It would cost him a shit ton of money and then he'd probably have to close his bakery after a few months already. Niall won't have that, he can make it through his heats alone, with the thoughts of Harry and his voice perhaps and Zayn's soothing hands. Wouldn't be the first time.

Harry won't be alone either, he still has Louis and Liam with him and he knows they'll support him. Those particular two idiots come back with red cheeks and heavy breaths as they slump down on either side of Zayn on their round little table.

"What did we miss?" Louis asks.

"Just the usual 'I will miss you' talk," Niall explains and takes a sip form his drink.

"Oh you actually have one?" Louis pouts and jerks his head in Zayn's direction. "He acts like it's not a big deal."

"It _is_ a big deal... I'd just prefer not to start crying before you're actually leaving," Zayn grumbles but leans back into the hand that Liam places gently on his neck.

"Maybe we can all agree on not crying before it's actually happening, okay?" Harry says. "Jesus christ, we're not little pups anymore. We shouldn't be crying at all. It's just twelve months, it's nothing!"

"But we've never been apart," Liam whines and tightens his grip on Zayn's neck. He looks actually close to tears.

"I said no crying!" Harry yells and throws his food at Liam who is fast enough to dodge it.

"You stop that right now, I managed not to get anything on the suit yet," Liam growls and lifts his hands like a martial artist, ready to fend off more food coming his way.

But Harry drops the rest back onto his plate with a smirk. "Speaking of... is everything ready?"

"I think so," Louis says. "I wanted to have a quick look at it again before we get started."

"Good. I think it's been long enough already. Do what you have to do, Louis." Then he gets up from his chair and stretches out one hand to Niall. "Want to grind against me on the dance floor and make everyone uncomfortable?"

Niall actually expected a cheesy one liner because he knows Harry likes them too much. But this one makes him beam like the sun. "You bet."

Harry pulls him along until they're in the middle of the dance floor and the song is fast enough to do just that: rubbing against each other until the other students give them the look™. Niall has his arms wrapped around Harry's body while Harry's elbows rest on Niall's shoulders, hands hanging loosely as they move to the rhythm of the music. They don't actually see the looks since they only have eyes for each other but they can feel them and it makes them grin. Niall moves his right hand a little lower until it pushes against Harry's bottom and presses them further together.

"Okay," Harry breathes between them, "we should probably tone it down. I thought I could do it for show or go halfway but I can't. I can only go all the way with you."

Niall laughs at him. "No self-control whatsoever, huh?"

"Not when it comes to you." Harry crosses his arms in the back of Niall's neck to pull him in for a kiss.

But only a second after their lips meet it starts to rain on them. The music is still running but everyone stops dancing and looks around, wondering what set off the fire sprinklers. Well Niall knows exactly what: a mischievous Beta with a cheshire cat grin. At first the students are mostly irritated but then the water slowly turns red, a deep red looking like blood, draining everyone's dresses. _That_ is when the screaming starts. Niall has never seen people run so fast for the exit and he bursts into laughter at the sight of their horrified faces. Even the teachers are shocked and run after them, no one really caring that five students linger behind.

Louis jumps onto the table and spreads his arms wide. " _We. Are. Amazing!_ "

"I knew it would be good, but this is even better," Zayn says and brushes a wet strand out of his eyes before he pulls Liam into a heated kiss.

Niall grins and smooths a hand over Harry's cheek. The red dye makes him look like he's covered in blood and Niall kind of thinks he's beautiful like that. They all are. The other three barrel into them a moment later and they all throw their arms around each other to form a circle filled with smiles and giggles.

"Next year will be our year," Harry declares. "So let's savour this night, yeah?"

"Yeah," everyone agrees but Niall is only looking at Harry, staring at him in awe, so in love.

Harry looks back at him and slowly loosens his arm from around Zayn to pull Niall close again. The song changes into something slower and they grin at each other, blinking the red water out of their eyes.

"The song is awful," Niall says. "But I love it."

"I love _you_ ", Harry tells him, raw and open, like he always is these days.

"I love you too," Niall almost shouts and then buries his fingers in Harry's wet curls to pull him in for a kiss. 

He can taste the food dye but mostly Harry's lips, his tongue and Niall wants to devour him. It feels like the first time they kissed in Niall's bed and like the first time Harry had licked his teeth. It's the moment when you're not yet sure what's happening so your heart picks up speed and sends your brain into a rapture. Then you start to understand what it is and you're just happy and a little drunk on the feelings something so simple can invoke. But maybe it's not just about the first time it happens or that it might feel different in ten years. It won't, not when you love someone like that. 

They melt into each other with parted lips and cheesy music around them, breathing heavily through their noses so they don't have to pull away. No, they kiss and kiss and they keep kissing until their white suits are completely drenched in red dye, making them look like they're stained with wine. But Niall feels more like he's bleeding love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to admit something. This is not my first Narry fic. I just created this account so my friends wouldn't know I like this ABO trope. *is weak*  
> So if you want to read more fics I wrote you might want to take a look at the [dark narry demigod AU](http://archiveofourown.org/series/639587) that I wrote as "Squishy" with my friend! It's the same pairings and similar dynamics so I think if you liked APOM you will like that one too. bascially: if you want to know what Louis and Zayn's comic is about, you should read that one ;) A lot of hard work and tears went into it <3 It's a Percy Jackson AU but we've also had people read it who didn't know the books or the movies so I think you'll understand it anyway! :) Don't be shy <3 and I think I'll post further fics on Squishy instead of Wanweird so yeah... I'd be happy to see you again.
> 
> Honestly, thank you so much for your support and your encouragement, it means a lot since english isn't my first language. But my friend always helped me with the typos so I hope it hasn't been that bad. Thank you thank you sis and thank you, readers!


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